tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27612445.post226780278965568807..comments2024-02-22T22:14:28.796-06:00Comments on The Wild Reed: The Choice (and Risk) That Is LoveMichael J. Baylyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03087458490602152648noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27612445.post-22006761624618959362015-08-30T22:52:16.729-05:002015-08-30T22:52:16.729-05:00I have read your reflections a number of times, pa...I have read your reflections a number of times, partly because you express my own feelings of longing and my fears they won't be fulfilled, and partly because the song, it's music and poetry, are so captivating. I may have misunderstood the argument, but I feel that your own reflections uphold both approaches to love. While it is easy, even liberating, to recognize on an intellectual level that love is a deliberate act of the will, the emotional longing doesn't disappear. I wonder if the truth doesn't lie in the balance. We are most fulfilled when our intellectual decision to love is finally in sync with our emotional longing for love.<br /><br />As an outsider looking in, I believe that you have made many deliberate decisions to love - family, friends, Church, ideas, art, nature, specific causes, those on the margins. You have even allowed unknown readers like me to enter into the issues of your life, which is a huge gesture of connection and love. So, if I don't undermine bell hooks too much, I hope you find what your heart longs for, and that one day soon you will find yourself on the inside of love!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27612445.post-775715309339910562015-08-30T08:33:57.694-05:002015-08-30T08:33:57.694-05:00One problem our culture burdens us with - if we le...One problem our culture burdens us with - if we let it - is the imagining of our lives as a cinematic narrative, with a narrative arc. In reality, our lives are a succession of moments including moments where things happen - and, importantly, DON'T happen - randomly. The common notion that all souls have at least one romantic Soulmate in this world is actually one that can wreak terrible damage on people.<br /><br />For example, there is in the USA a narrowed demographic for urban gay men in their early 50s. The peak demographic cohort for gay men who were infected with HIV was a five year period from 1960-64 (some studies put it at 1958-62, if memory serves). There's a lot fewer gay men in their late 40s and especially early 50s than there would have been without The Plague. And the survivors in the cohort have been affected by that.<br /><br />I mention this because it might help to think of the notion of The Soulmate in the following way. IF, for the sake of argument, one indeed has a Soulmate, then how likely is it that (i) you will be the Soulmate of the Soulmate (one thing life teaches us is that Soulmatedness is often not as reciprocal as we would imagine, and (ii) that mutual Soulmates will indeed find each other before they die? There are a lot of random, rather than tragic, reasons finding a mutual Soulmate relationship never happens. I've certainly seen many marriages that do not involve mutual Soulmates - they can be a disaster if either one of the couple assumes theirs is a mutual Soulmate marriage, but they can also be quite solid when both members of the couple operate without that premise in mind (this is not about non-monogamy, btw - that's a very different issue, and one that is thornier than its propopents typicaly admit). <br /><br />As they say in recovery circles, expectations are premeditated resentments. <br /><br />And resentments never come from God.<br /><br />Hope is different. It is open, but does not expect. It's not ruddered by ego need. Hope and openness are worth cultivating, regardless of one's state in life. <br /><br /> Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27612445.post-12951080894478517932015-08-29T16:26:53.521-05:002015-08-29T16:26:53.521-05:00Dear Michael. Thank you for such a wonderful refle...Dear Michael. Thank you for such a wonderful reflection. It was honest moving and spoke to where I am in life, and my fears and hopes. Thank you for reminding me and others of what we seek to affirm and believe... And this is prayer-for what is prayer but a reminder of our deepest desires. aBAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27612445.post-23964219521754187602015-08-29T11:59:01.838-05:002015-08-29T11:59:01.838-05:00This is a very thoughtful article, and touching co...This is a very thoughtful article, and touching comments by you, Michael. I very much admire your openness and sincerity. You are one in a million, and you set a high standard for the rest of us! I loved <i>The Road Less Traveled</i>. It retains its relevance after all of these years.Mary Lynn Murphynoreply@blogger.com