tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27612445.post2546013302869011076..comments2024-03-23T12:05:23.537-05:00Comments on The Wild Reed: Well, Better Late Than Never, I GuessMichael J. Baylyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03087458490602152648noreply@blogger.comBlogger9125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27612445.post-7595251611124589712011-04-13T09:48:00.146-05:002011-04-13T09:48:00.146-05:00I wonder if his coming out at this "late date...I wonder if his coming out at this "late date" has anything to do with the fact that a huge locus of his fan base is not the good old USA but Latin countries where Mochismo is so repressively strong. In that sense, he may very well be quite the hero for coming out at all. The center of the world for some, really is south of the US/Mexican boarder.jamezhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12910320855332238203noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27612445.post-48282724504504805722010-11-13T01:18:40.942-06:002010-11-13T01:18:40.942-06:00I have to agree with Brian here. I came out when I...I have to agree with Brian here. I came out when I was 36--just 2 years younger than Ricky Martin is now. I am certainly not a millionaire but I am well aware that some people who I worked with at the time were extremely critical of me for waiting so long. Others at that same time condemned my soul to hell, and even at my mid-30s that was still traumatic to me. Who can judge the trauma inside his heart over the years, popular or not? I certainly can't.<br /><br />I am the one and only person who can determine my readiness to be public about what in reality, in an ideal society, should be a private matter anyway. By that I mean no one else should give a fuck. But, in the world we live in, they do. We all know that. Certainly Mr Martin knew that and still chose to do so. Good for him. And us.<br /><br />It is never without pain to come out, no matter what your monetary value. Incidentally I was ironically later criticized, somewhat severely I might add, by several of the very same people who had supported me in my earlier choice to come out years earlier, when I made a decision to be celibate for a time due to religious reasons. While I no longer see that as a neccesity for myself, I never once condemned others who chose otherwise or were not at a place to made such a decision. But I was still attacked about it from family and friends who thought I had gone over the edge. All for something that was my business only.<br /><br />Now, my very recent move out of a church that attempted to decide those things for me has yet again brought a new barrage of criticism from those who mistook me for an "ex gay"(which was never my belief, even as a strong Catholic). And in every one of those 3 progressions in my own journey I gained new friends and yet lost others who in some cases I felt very close to. <br /><br />Yes, he has money, prestige, and less to lose than some. But for the rest of his life he will, as the rest of us, be "targeted" by some who formerly expected "better" of him and will now reject him. He didn't have to say a word, but did so anyway, knowing this. Early or late. At least give him that much.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27612445.post-55889001556697619292010-03-31T14:32:34.627-05:002010-03-31T14:32:34.627-05:00Interesting post, Michael. Just a couple of thing...Interesting post, Michael. Just a couple of things; Neal Patrick Harris was forced "out" by an impending expose and he was well into his career by then, Ricky Martin, I think, gets whatever points get given for coming out anymore just for doing it. Other than closeted politicians who may be making our lives miserable, I see no reason at all to judge anyone's process of communicating their full lives to others.brian gerardhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08322449604483729842noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27612445.post-17044535319414969022010-03-30T19:23:50.555-05:002010-03-30T19:23:50.555-05:00Thanks for sharing, Steve. Your comments were ver...Thanks for sharing, Steve. Your comments were very thoughtful.Mareczkuhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13122584421854834046noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27612445.post-26653111853953120592010-03-30T18:33:39.752-05:002010-03-30T18:33:39.752-05:00I think, Michael, you are being a little harsh. I...I think, Michael, you are being a little harsh. I don't read into RM's announcement any desire to be seen either as a hero or an object of pity. I consider him neither. At the same time, anytime a person stands against the homophobia of society, it is a good thing. "Everyone" may have known that RM was gay, but, believe me, homophobes live in, by, and through denial...and not just with themselves.kevin57https://www.blogger.com/profile/01681985465980196347noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27612445.post-2652275765985690982010-03-30T17:07:35.186-05:002010-03-30T17:07:35.186-05:00Michael, I like your site a lot and visit it every...Michael, I like your site a lot and visit it every day. this is my first comment:<br /><br />Who cares about Ricky Martin? Who was that OTHER guy on the beach with him? WOOF!!!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27612445.post-41559498986918717242010-03-30T11:52:09.334-05:002010-03-30T11:52:09.334-05:00You're not being too harsh, Michael. Throughou...You're not being too harsh, Michael. Throughout his career, Ricky Martin has frequented gay clubs in both America and Europe. He's been in relationships with men throughout his adult life. He's a 38-year-old millionaire who has come out of the closet to the surprise of no one and as a publicity stunt. I feel no empathy for him.Colinnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27612445.post-18687385267352752022010-03-30T10:50:16.759-05:002010-03-30T10:50:16.759-05:00Steve,
I greatly appreciate your sharing so hones...Steve,<br /><br />I greatly appreciate your sharing so honestly on this issue - an issue that, as you note, is filled with complexities.<br /><br />Peace,<br /><br />MichaelMichael J. Baylyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03087458490602152648noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27612445.post-50424865859415542092010-03-30T04:51:59.884-05:002010-03-30T04:51:59.884-05:00I was in similar space related to Sean Hayes.
I&...I was in similar space related to Sean Hayes. <br /><br />I'm happy to affirm the complexities of coming out for every person, whatever their station or position on a career arc.<br /><br />And yet, there's a disconnect for me that I don't quite know how to express or handle.<br /><br />In 2000, my partner lost his battle with depression, completing his journey too early at 46. Like Ricky Martin and Sean Hayes, he was new to coming out in mid-life.<br /><br />The thing I want Hayes, Martin, and other not-so-closeted yet prominent folks to hear is a reminder that being out is likely to bring some messiness to our lives at times. They need not take on the mantle of role model, activist, or leader as a fully-out person. Still, they can come out mindful that the income- or career-based hit they'll incur is helpful to, and will bond them with, the folks who have lost their livelihoods, families, or their lives.<br /><br />Being out has messed with my life.<br /><br />It's been an entirely worthwhile venture.Stevehttp://atb.opho.orgnoreply@blogger.com