Day of Silence Prayer

Author and art historian Kittredge Cherry, who founded and maintains the excellent Jesus in Love Blog, has composed a beautiful prayer for the Day of Silence taking place today.

Founded in 1996 by the Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network (GLSEN), the Day of Silence is a student-led national event that brings attention to anti-LGBT name-calling, bullying and harassment in schools.

Notes GLSEN:

Students from middle school to college take a vow of silence in an effort to encourage schools and classmates to address the problem of anti-LGBT behavior by illustrating the silencing effect of bullying and harassment on LGBT students and those perceived to be LGBT. . . . The Day of Silence has reached students in all 50 states and the District of Columbia, as well as those as far away as New Zealand, Singapore and Russia. More than 10,000 students register their Day of Silence participation with GLSEN every year. And public figures such as Laverne Cox, Jim Parsons, RuPaul, Tyler Oakley, Kirsten Vangsness, Kristin Chenoweth, Billy Bean, Vicky Beeching, Steve Grand, Chely Wright, and many others have publicly supported students participating in the GLSEN Day of Silence.

Following is the "long version" of Kittredge Cherry powerful prayer. For the "Twitter version" and for links to the prayer in Spanish and Portuguese, click here.

________________________________________

Day of Silence Prayer

by Kittredge Cherry

Silence is memory....
Remembering those who died young,
Driven to suicide by bullying
Or killed
Because of who they loved
Because of the way God created them
Because they were called
Gay, lesbian, bi, trans, queer, sodomite…
Remembering Tyler Clementi, Leelah Alcorn, Brandon Teena, Matthew Shepard, Gwen Araujo, Haylee Fentress, Paige Moravetz, and many, many more.

Silence is action….
Calling attention to how people are silenced
When bigotry is disguised as humor,
When prejudice turns into threats
And even violence.

Silence is solidarity…
Students, family, teachers, friends
Who care enough
To share the stigma,
To stand with the queer and questioning
Stopping hate with compassion.

Silence is pride, LGBTQ pride…
Not letting the bullies win.
Claiming our right to be.
With dignity
Part of God’s rainbow.

Silence is prayer…
For Mary’s child.
Whenever any child is bullied,
Christ is bullied.
Whenever any child is called names,
Christ is called names.
Mary’s child said,
“Whatever you do to the least of these,
you do to me.”
With sighs too deep for words,
Listening in the silence
For the still small voice of God.
Amen.

See also the previous Wild Reed posts:
• GSAs and the Catholic High School Setting
• Confronting Classroom Homophobia
• Dave Navarro to LGBT Youth: "We Need Your Voice"
• An Inspiring Event
• LGBTQ+ Catholic Youth Summit to Proceed Despite Chancery's Misstep
• Minnesota Catholics, LGBT Students, and the Ongoing Work of Creating Safe and Supportive Schools
• The Two Editorials that Benilde-St. Margaret's Catholic High School Doesn't Want You to Read
• How Times Have Changed
• CPCSM and the Archdiocese of St. Paul-Minneapolis – Part 3: Archdiocese Defends CPCSM's Efforts on Behalf of Gay Students
• CPCSM and the Archdiocese of St. Paul-Minneapolis – Part 4: More on the Archdiocese's Efforts to Defend the Addressing of Gay Issues in Catholic High Schools
• A Girl Named Sara: A "Person of the Resurrection"
• For the Record
• "A Useful, Essential, and Comprehensive Manual"
• Remembering and Reclaiming a Wise, Spacious, and Holy Understanding of Homosexuality

Image: Subject and photographer unknown.

In What's Being Called a "First-of-its-Kind Decision," a Catholic School is Told It Can't Fire People for Being Gay

The following is a media release from Gay and Lesbian Advocates and Defenders (GLAD).

In a first-of-its-kind decision, a Massachusetts Superior Court judge has ruled that Fontbonne Academy, a Catholic girls’ high school, discriminated against Matthew Barrett on the basis of sexual orientation and sex when it rescinded its offer of the job of food services manager to him because he is married to another man. The court ruled that Fontbonne had clearly and directly violated the Massachusetts nondiscrimination law; was not exempt from the law; and had no constitutional defenses against its discriminatory conduct. The decision can be read here.

The case, Barrett v. Fontbonne Academy, brought by Gay and Lesbian Advocates and Defenders (GLAD), seeks to enforce the nondiscrimination laws that are vitally important to our civil society and to push back against attempts by religiously-affiliated institutions to expand their ability to free themselves from the obligations of the nondiscrimination laws.

“Religiously-affiliated organizations do not get a free pass to discriminate against gay and lesbian people,” said Bennett Klein, GLAD Senior Attorney. “When Fontbonne fired Matt from a job that has nothing to do with religion, and simply because he is married, they came down on the wrong side of the law.”

“I’m ecstatic,” said Barrett. “What happened to me was wrong, and I truly hope it doesn’t happen to anyone else.”

In rejecting Fontbonne’s constitutional claims asserting rights of free exercise of religion and expressive association, Associate Justice Douglas H. Wilkins wrote, “The state has a compelling interest in prohibiting discrimination against historically disadvantaged people,” citing cases from the U.S. Supreme Court addressing race and sex discrimination. He continued, “That interest is rarely stronger than in the employment context...”

Barrett was born and raised in a Catholic family. He has worked in the food services industry for 20 years, and lives in Dorchester with his husband Ed Suplee.

The next step in the case will be a hearing on damages.

In addition to Klein, Barrett is represented by GLAD attorney Gary Buseck and GLAD’s founder, John Ward.

In reporting on this landmark decision for New Ways Ministry's Bondings 2.0 blog, Bob Shine (left) offers the following incisive commentary.

This decision means justice for Matthew Barrett. It sets a legal precedent that Massachusetts religious institutions cannot wantonly discriminate against LGBT employees by using religious exemption definitions broadly. What it does not rectify are the thirteen public incidents in 2015 where LGBT and Ally church workers lost their jobs nor the more than 60 which have occurred since 2008. Because this was a state court decision, it may not be applicable to similar situations in other states.

Fontbonne Academy is in the Archdiocese of Boston, which is headed by Cardinal Sean O’Malley. He is a close adviser to Pope Francis and the only American prelate to speak out against the firing of LGBT church workers, telling Bondings 2.0 in 2014 that it is a situation “needs to be rectified.” O’Malley should use the occasion of this ruling to implement LGBT-inclusive non-discrimination policies at all archdiocesan schools, parishes, and agencies. Policies could be modeled on those approved by Germany’s bishops earlier this year, or the policy adopted by St. Mary’s Academy in Portland, Oregon. Such a move would help make real the cardinal’s desire to ending these firings and be a model for others in the U.S. Church to follow.

Related Off-site Links:
Catholic School Discriminated Against Gay Employee, Says Judge – Bob Shine (Bondings 2.0, December 18, 2015).
Court To Catholic School: No, You Can’t Fire People Because They Are Gay – Zack Ford (Think Progress, December 17, 2015).
Catholic School Loses Gay Bias Case – Laura Crimaldi (The Boston Globe, December 17, 2015).
More Colleges Seek Exemption from LGBT Anti-bias Rules, Rights Group Says – Fiona Ortiz (Reuters, December 19, 2015).

See also the previous Wild Reed posts:
• Thoughts on the Firing of Kristen Ostendorf
• Quote of the Day – September 2, 2013
• Compassion, Christian Community, and Homosexuality

Opening image: Matthew Barrett, left, and his husband, Ed Suplee.

LGBTQ+ Catholic Youth Summit to Proceed Despite Chancery's Misstep

Sadly for some, this post could aptly be titled: How to ensure our youth join the documented exodus of Catholics from the church.

Why? Well, let me explain by first noting that the recently established LGBTQ+ Catholic Student Coalition is a student-run initiative that describes itself as "a group of individual students from Catholic schools in Minnesota, and Catholic identified individuals who attend public or non-Catholic private schools, who are interested in advancing LGBTQ+ equity in their schools and local communities."

The inspiring mission of this student-led coalition is to "create genuine, open conversation about LGBTQ+ issues at Catholic schools for faculty, staff, administrators, and students in Minnesota, and a safer, more equitable Catholic school environment for all students, particularly LGBTQ+ identified students."

Members of the coalition come from four of the eleven Twin Cities metro-area Catholic high schools: Benilde-St. Margaret's, Holy Family, Academy of Holy Angels, and Totino Grace.


Creating safe spaces

This Saturday, May 16, 2015, the LGBTQ+ Catholic Student Coalition, with support from OutFront MN and the Justice Office of the Sister's of St. Joseph of Carondelet and Consociates – St. Paul Province, is hosting an event that's being billed as the "first annual LGBTQ+ Catholic student summit."

Creating safe spaces for LGBTQ+ people of faith is the main goal of the summit, one that the coalition describes as "a day of conversation, learning, and action to improve the climate for LGBTQ+ individuals in Catholic environments, and the lives of LGBTQ+ Catholics in LGBTQ+ ones."

The day will begin with Mass, followed by a keynote address by Kristen Ostendorf, who, in 2013, was fired from her position of English/religion teacher at Totino-Grace Catholic High School after she came out to colleagues as gay and "happily in a relationship" (Ostendorf now teaches English at Highland Park Senior High in St. Paul). The summit's afternoon session will be devoted to a series of student-led workshops on creating safe spaces in Catholic schools, the experience of being LGBT and Catholic, and how to talk to people of faith about LGBT issues. The coalition and its partners expect more than 200 Catholic students from around the state to attend Saturday's summit.


The chancery responds

The young people who comprise the LGBTQ+ Catholic Student Coalition are quite impressive, wouldn't you say? I mean, they and their efforts are "signs and wonders" of the good news of Jesus, of God's transforming love breaking through into the world via the actions of people mindful and responsive to this love both in the depths of their being and in all aspects of creation. These young people are clearly embodying the gospel values of concern for the marginalized, compassion, inclusion, and justice. Also, their efforts to facilitate respectful dialogue reflect the leadership style of Pope Francis. Given all of this, one would think that these students and their efforts would be supported by the clerical leadership of the archdiocese. Not so.

You see, Saturday's LGBTQ+ Catholic Youth Summit was originally scheduled to take place at Christ the King Catholic Church in Minneapolis. However, earlier this week the LGBTQ+ Catholic Student Coalition posted the following message on its Facebook page:

The LGBTQ+ Catholic Student Coalition regrets to announce that on orders from the Chancery of the Archdiocese of Minneapolis and St. Paul, Christ the King Catholic Church is no longer able to host the LGBTQ+ Catholic Youth Summit.

Fortunately, Edina Community Lutheran Church (4113 W 54th St, Edina) has graciously agreed to host the event this Saturday, May 16.

While we are deeply disappointed that we are no longer able to host this event at a Catholic parish, the decision from the chancery clearly demonstrates the need for this event and the conversations we will be having on Saturday at the summit.

Now more than ever it’s important to come together as a community in solidarity! Can’t wait to see you all there.

In a statement to The Column, Archbishop John C. Nienstedt said he “intervened” in the decision of Christ the King to host the event because the forum is being “led by a speaker who has publicly dissented from Church teaching. . . . We are concerned that the content of the proposed presentation will contradict Church teaching, leaving those in attendance, especially young people, confused about the truth of the teaching long after the May 16th presentation.”


Another egregious misstep

Of course, this type of action from the chancery is not new; in relation to LGBT issues, it dates back to October 2007 and the banning of 82-year-old “cradle Catholic” Robert Curoe and his lesbian daughter, Carol, from speaking at St. Frances Cabrini Catholic Church about their book, Are There Closets in Heaven? A Catholic Father and Lesbian Daughter Share Their Story. (For my thoughts at the time on this action by the chancery, click here.) Indeed, when it comes to questioning voices and differing opinions around issues of sexuality and church reform, the general response of the chancery under Archbishop Nienstedt (who, it should be noted, remains under investigation for allegations of sexual misconduct with adult men) has been to censor, denounce, and ban. In the context of our shared journey as Catholics, such actions are egregious missteps on the part of our clerical leadership.

One can only speculate on the impact that the chancery's banning of the summit from official Catholic property will have on the young members of the LGBTQ+ Catholic Student Coalition. Their Facebook statement puts a positive spin on things, but I'm sure that many of the young people involved are feeling hurt and rejected by the message that has been sent by the chancery's directive.

This is significant, not to mention relevant to the alternative title to this post: How to ensure our youth join the documented exodus of Catholics from the church. For as Jane C. Timm notes in her MSNBC article from last year:

One third of young people who left organized religion did so because of anti-gay teachings or treatment within their churches, according to a new study.

While not surprising—it’s no secret that younger Americans are more accepting of gay people—it puts a number on the cost anti-gay policies can have on organizations.

A full 31% of young people (ages 18 to 33) who left organized religion said “negative teachings” or “negative treatment” of gay people was a “somewhat important” or “very important” factor in their departure, as surveyed by the Public Religion Research Institute.

A strong majority (58%) of Americans also said religious groups are “alienating” young people by “being too judgmental on gay and lesbian issues.” A full 70% of young people said the same.

In response to the chancery's latest misstep, the Catholic Coalition for Church Reform is encouraging the members of its lay network to "write to Archbishop Nienstedt and tell him what you think of his decision to order Christ the King parish to cancel a GLBTQ youth event."

Archbishop John C. Nienstedt
226 Summit Avenue
St. Paul MN 55102

Phone: (651) 291-4400
Email: archbishop@archspm.org

For more information about the LGBTQ+ Catholic Youth Summit, including how to register, click here.


Related Off-site Links:
Archbishop Nienstedt Blocks Church from Hosting LGBT Catholic Youth Event – Andy Birkey (TheColu.mn, May 15, 2015).
Forced Venue Change for LGBTQ+ Catholic Students' Summit Highlights Need for Support, Says Organizer – Jim Walsh (MinnPost, May 15, 2015).
Students Organize Youth Summit to Be Held This Weekend – Grace Gyolai (Knight Errant, May 14, 2015).
First Annual LGBT Catholic Student Summit to Be Held Saturday – Andy Birkey (TheColu.mn, May 12, 2015).
Why LGBT Adolescents Are Still More Likely to Face Bullying, Including Social Exclusion and Physical Harm – Andrew M. Seaman (Reuters via HuffPost Gay Voices, May 7, 2015).
Shaping Men and Women for Others in Catholic Schools – Andy Otto (Millennial, May 18, 2015).
America’s Changing Religious Landscape: Christians Decline Sharply as Share of Population; Unaffiliated and Other Faiths Continue to Grow – Pew Research Center (May 12, 2015).
Big Drop in Share of Americans Calling Themselves Christian – Nate Cohn (New York Times, May 12, 2015).
Study Finds Significant Decline in Minnesotans Identifying Themselves as Catholic – Joe Kimball (MinnPost, May 12, 2015).
How the Church Can Get Millennials Back – Christopher J. Hale (Time, May 14, 2015).

See also the previous Wild Reed posts:
• Choosing to Stay
• GSAs and the Catholic High School Setting
• Dave Navarro to LGBT Youth: "We Need Your Voice"
• An Inspiring Event
• The Two Editorials that Benilde-St. Margaret's Catholic High School Doesn't Want You to Read
• How Times Have Changed
• CPCSM and the Archdiocese of St. Paul-Minneapolis – Part 3: Archdiocese Defends CPCSM's Efforts on Behalf of Gay Students
• CPCSM and the Archdiocese of St. Paul-Minneapolis – Part 4: More on the Archdiocese's Efforts to Defend the Addressing of Gay Issues in Catholic High Schools
• Remembering and Reclaiming a Wise, Spacious, and Holy Understanding of Homosexuality

Image: Felicia Pruitt Brown.

Something to Think About . . .

.

Related Off-site Links:
Cardinal Praises Transvestite Conchita Wurst: "There is Multi-coloured Variety in God’s Garden" – Christa Pongratz-Lippitt (The Tablet, May 22, 2014).
What’s So Doctrinal About Gender Normative Clothing? – Bob Shine (Bondings 2.0, May 20, 2014).
Why Catholic Students Are Rallying Behind a Girl and Her Tuxedo – Lilit Marcus (Yahoo! Shine, May 19, 2014).
LambdaLegal.org

See also the previous Wild Reed post:
Signs and Wonders

Minnesota Catholics, LGBT Students, and the Ongoing Work of Creating Safe and Supportive Schools

UPDATED: April 9, 2014


Yes, it feels a little like history repeating.

When I was in Australia around this time eight years ago I reported "good news from Minnesota": the state legislature had adjourned without approving a proposed amendment to the state constitution that would have barred any form of legal recognition for same-sex couples and their families. The Minnesota Conference of Catholic Bishops had lobbied hard for the proposed amendment, with John C. Nienstedt, then Bishop of New Ulm, very much leading the charge. Of course, most people have forgotten this victory, overshadowed as it was five years later when a similar amendment passed the legislature and was placed on the November 2012 ballot. Nienstedt, now Archbishop of St. Paul-Minneapolis, made the passing of the so-called "marriage amendment" very much a personal crusade. After almost two years of often contentious debate (see, for example, here, here, here, here and here) the "marriage amendment" was rejected by the citizens of Minnesota. I was honoured to do my bit in helping defeat this amendment, both as executive coordinator of Catholics for Marriage Equality MN and as editor of The Progressive Catholic Voice.

So where and how is "history repeating"?

Well, once again I'm in Australia and reporting good news from Minnesota. This time, however, is not about marriage equality legislation, which, I should note, was swiftly passed (see here and here) soon after the defeat of the 'marriage amendment.' Rather, the good news I share today is about the Safe and Supportive Schools bill: Yes, it has been passed by both the Minnesota Senate and House!


"Doing what is right for our kids"

Local journalist Andy Birkey has been providing excellent coverage of the progress of the bill, the first version of which appeared in 2009. In his most recent piece for TheColu.mn, Andy writes:

The bill is a comprehensive plan to tackle bullying in Minnesota’s public schools. It provides a clear definition of bullying, protects all students while listing 19 categories of students often singled out for bullying, creates a school climate center and council to provide up-to-date anti-bullying research to school districts, and focuses on bullying prevention as opposed to punishment.

. . . “No child in Minnesota should have to choose on a daily basis between feeling safe and going to school, and with passage of this bill, they no longer have to,” said Sen. Scott Dibble, DFL-Minneapolis, the lead author of the bill. “Our students will now be able to feel supported, our teachers and administrators will have the tools and training they need to address bullying, and our parents will not have to worry about the safety of their kids in schools.”

He added, “Misinformation perpetuated about the bill is unfortunate. This has always been about doing what is right for our kids. No child in Minnesota should be bullied, and every student is going to be protected thanks to the Safe and Supportive Schools Act.”

Following are excerpts from the Star Tribune report on yesterday's passage at the Minnesota State Capitol of what's been called the "anti-bullying bill."

An anti-bullying policy considered one of the weakest in the country was scrapped by the Minnesota Senate on Thursday in favor of more stringent requirements that would begin to crack down on practices that have tormented some students to the point of suicide.

Every school district would be expected to develop and enforce plans to reduce bullying and would have to make regular progress reports to the state. The state itself would be required to develop a model plan.

Wearing a backward Minnesota Gophers cap and clutching a “Safe Schools” sign to her chest, Elise Coffin, 17, had her eyes glued to a telecast just outside the Senate chambers as members prepared to vote.

“I feel like there’s still thousands of kids out there that don’t have a voice and can’t speak up for themselves,” said Coffin, a Duluth East High School senior who is gay and who has been bullied. “If we can get a voice from legislators, it’s going to mean a lot more.”

Coffin laughed at opponents’ suggestion that the bill provides special treatment for gay and lesbian students. “People need to take a reality check and go through what it’s like to be an out kid in high school,” she said. “Special privilege? No. I think we’re finally going to be treated like we deserve, instead of second-class citizens.”

Strengthening the anti-bullying law has been a decade-long goal of gay rights activists and others concerned about bullying that affects a broad spectrum of students perceived as different. But the pushback from opponents has been strong.

Much of the lobbying energy behind the bill has been courtesy of OutFront Minnesota, the state’s chief gay rights group and a driving force behind last year’s successful effort to legalize gay marriage in Minnesota. The anti-bullying bill pushes some of the same cultural hot buttons as that debate, with religious and socially conservative groups expressing worry that students could get labeled bullies for expressing views learned from their parents at a church.

. . . When the bill passed 36-31, tearful supporters erupted in cheers after a debate that had spanned five hours. The bill’s sponsor, Sen. Scott Dibble, DFL-Minneapolis, was greeted with back slaps and hugs as he pumped his fists in the air.

“It doesn’t matter for a kid based on where they live, they should be able to expect to go to school feeling safe,” Dibble said.

A number of provisions in earlier versions came out. The bill no longer requires schools to keep data and report it. They won’t be subject to mandatory training of volunteers. Districts will not have to adopt the state’s model policy unless they decline to devise one of their own.

The bill defines bullying behavior in part as behavior, words or images that could interfere with a safe, supportive learning environment; that instill fear or intimidation, or that have a detrimental effect on the physical, social or emotional health of a student. It also addresses cyberbullying.

Public charter schools would be expected to follow the bill’s requirements, but private and home schools would not.

House Speaker Paul Thissen, DFL-Minneapolis, said his chamber, which approved similar legislation last year, is likely to quickly send the bill to Gov. Mark Dayton, who is expected to sign it.

“I support the stronger protections in the anti-bullying bill . . . to provide local school districts with the guidance and support they need to make it very clear that bullying will not be allowed in our schools,” Dayton said.

A range of Catholic perspectives and voices

It should be noted that, thanks to intense lobbying by the Minnesota Catholic Conference of Bishops, Catholic schools will be exempt from the anti-bullying policies that will be enacted when the bill becomes law. Yet even despite this exception, the conference still lobbied hard to defeat the bill.

In February, my friend Mary Beth Stein had a letter-to-the-editor published in the Star Tribune. In this letter Mary Beth refutes the bishops' rationale for their anti-gay activism and explains how the Minnesota Safe and Supportive Schools bill is, in fact, in keeping with Catholic values.

The Minnesota Catholic Conference rejects the Safe and Supportive Schools bill, expressing concern that the bill is part of a larger agenda to normalize same-sex attraction. These suspicions reflect the attitude of some of the ordained Church leaders but not the heart and soul of Catholics in the pews. As was demonstrated in the high Catholic percentage who voted against the marriage amendment, we already accept same-sex attraction as normal. Everyone is created by God; who are we to judge? Rather than judge we are called to cherish.

The real issue at hand is protecting students. Lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender students are frequent targets of bullying. The concern for all Catholics, indeed all Minnesotans, is to protect these and other vulnerable students from harm. What could be more in keeping with Catholic values?

The Twin Cities-based Council of the Baptized also critiqued the bishops' attempts to both exempt Catholic schools from the Safe and Supportive Schools bill and prevent the bill from passing in any form that specifically identified lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender students as a group prone to being bullied. In February of this year the Council of the Baptized published "Catholic Support for Anti-Bullying Legislation Without Exemption for Private Schools," a position paper researched and written by Council members Daniel DeWan, Lisa Vanderlinden and Patty Thorsen.

The position paper states in part:

For the Catholic [bishops] to be asking for an exemption, they are, in essence, asking for the right to teach students in a way that is intimidating, threatening and abusive. This would be wholly contrary to what [Minnesota Catholic Conference spokesperson] Jason Adkins claims is the policy in Catholic schools “to treat every child as someone created in the image and likeness of God...” (MinnPost, April 24, 2013). Therefore, it would seem that Catholic schools are already complying with the legislation except for the minor burden of reporting incidents to the Department of Education.

The Council of the Baptized fully supports the Minnesota Legislature’s efforts to combat bullying in schools throughout the state with legislation that will define bullying clearly, and enumerates the students who are most likely to be bullied or harassed. Further, the Council believes that the requirements of the proposed legislation should apply to all schools without exemptions for private and non-public schools.

The Catholic Coalition for Church Reform (CCCR) also questioned the bishops' actions, asking:

Why is the Minnesota Catholic Conference of Bishops one of the biggest opponents to this bill when the bill already exempts private schools?

They say that if the bill becomes law Catholics in the public schools might be accused of bullying when expressing their beliefs about homosexuality. But bullying is defined as negative, aggressive, repeated behavior – not the same as sharing one's beliefs.

Do you think the reason given for opposing the bill outweighs the suffering and violence of bullying to kids beginning to discover their sexual identity? And what about those students being bullied because of race, ethnicity, economic status, disabilities, and other characteristics enumerated in the bill? Passing this bill will protect all students.

Well, thankfully the bill has passed and will soon be law. Many young people's lives will be made better and safer as a result. It saddens me, however, that, once again, the Catholic hierarchy is on the wrong side of history when it comes to an issue involving LGBT people.

I'm heartened, though, by the fact that teachers and administrators in many Catholic schools are doing what they can to support students who have either come out as LGBT or who are questioning their sexual orientation and/or gender.

I also feel very honoured to have been given, eight years ago, the opportunity as executive coordinator of the Catholic Pastoral Committee on Sexual Minorities (CPCSM) to compile and edit a book that, to this day, remains the only text available offering strategies and resources for Catholic educators to create safe environments for LGBT students.

In their 2007 review of Creating Safe Environments for LGBT Students: A Catholic Schools Perspective, Kristin L. Gunckel and Adam J. Greteman write:

Creating Safe Environments provides a much-needed tool to help Catholic schools address the issue of sexuality and the needs of LGBT students within the Catholic educational system. It illustrates the complex and political nature of the situation while asking that Catholic educators address this sensitive topic not solely from doctrine or out of pity, but with an emphasis on social justice and the pastoral need to care for all students. Bayly challenges those who take part in the training to not simply tolerate LGBT students, but to embrace them for their differences and recognize their unique gifts and existence.

Bayly traverses the complicated terrain by contrasting the theological issues with the reality that LGBT students face increased persecution and higher suicide rates than their heterosexual peers. He calls for the Catholic community to take action to embrace its LGBT students and create a safe environment in which they can learn and develop. He does this through various means including an examination of the cultural context in which the Bible was written and the passages often used to condemn homosexuality. Bayly also provides an honest look at the various statements that have emerged from the documents issued by the U.S. Catholic Bishops, which at times have not been the most positive toward LGBT peoples, but which he recognizes as important in the on-going discussion. Finally, Bayly addresses the reality that the Catholic Church is constantly changing, just at a slower pace than other institutions. The pastoral move to discuss sexuality outside of Catholic doctrine is a positive advancement. While Bayly’s guide may not suffice for all schools, it provides useful guidance on what the issues are and how the Catholic school community can and should recognize the existence and needs of its LGBT students.

Writing in the Canadian Journal of Education, Gerald Walton notes:

Given religiously-based backlash against LGBT visibility in society and legal rights that are equal to, but do not supercede those of heterosexuals (such as so-called “gay marriage” in Canada), Bayly’s book is a useful, essential, and comprehensive manual that addresses issues that are widely perceived as difficult and controversial. For those who are unconvinced, the bottom line is simple: all students deserve to learn in schools that are free of bigotry and violence. Bayly’s book is an excellent step in that direction.

I look forward to the day when members of the Catholic hierarchy make the decision to journey in the direction that both the Minnesota Safe and Supportive Schools Act and my book are leading. I look forward to the day when a book entitled Creating Safe Environments for LGBT Students: A Catholic Schools Perspective is no longer needed; when the strategies and resources such a book provides are simply a given in our Catholic schools.

May that day come soon.


UPDATES:
Minnesota House Passes Anti-Bullying Bill; Dayton to Sign Into Law Today – Mike Cronin (Star Tribune, April 9, 2014).
Republicans Semi-Privately Complain of LGBT-Inclusion in Safe Schools Bill – Andy Birkey (TheColu.mn, April 7, 2014).
Special Report: The Right’s 5-year Anti-LGBT Campaign to Stop Safe Schools – Andy Birkey (TheColu.mn, April 24, 2014).

Related Off-site Links:
Safe Schools Bill Passes Minnesota Senate – Andy Birkey (TheColu.mn, April 4, 2014).
Bullying Crackdown Passes Minnesota Senate – Patrick Condon and Abby Simons (Star Tribune, April 4, 2014).
Safe Schools Bill Passes Senate Education Committee – Andy Birkey (TheColu.mn, March 12, 2014).
Emotions Flare At Anti-Bullying Bill Hearing – Esme Murphy (CBS Minnesota, March 11, 2014).
Five Falsehoods the Right is Telling About the Minnesota Anti-Bullying Bill – Andy Birkey (TheColu.mn, March 5, 2014).
Opponents to Safe Schools Bill Testify, But Arguments Are Losing Steam – Beth Hawkins (MinnPost, March 12, 2014).
Catholic Hierarchy's Rhetoric Does Not Reflect Changes to Safe and Supportive Schools Act – Rep. Jim Davnie (MinnPost, April 26, 2013).
How to Determine If Your Religious Liberty Is Being Threatened in Just 10 Quick Questions – Rev. Emily C. Heath (HuffPost Religion, September 5, 2012).

See also the previous Wild Reed posts:
Confronting Classroom Homophobia
"A Courageous Document"
"A Valiant Effort"
"A Useful, Essential, and Comprehensive Manual"
CPCSM and the Archdiocese of St. Paul-Minneapolis: Part 3 – Archdiocese Defends CPCSM's Efforts on Behalf of Gay Students
CPCSM and the Archdiocese of St. Paul-Minneapolis: Part 4 – More on the Archdiocese's Efforts to Defend the Addressing of Gay Issues in Catholic High Schools
For the Record

Thoughts on the Firing of Kristen Ostendorf

One of the key quotes in Jim Walsh's excellent MinnPost story about English/religion teacher Kristen Ostendorf's recent firing from Totino-Grace Catholic High School after she came out to colleagues as gay and "happily in a relationship," was when Ostendorf simply acknowledged, "I can’t do it anymore."

The "it" Kristen is referring to is, of course, the living of a closeted life in her work environment – one that, until last month, had been the Catholic institution of Totino-Grace High School.

I think it's fair to say that at a very fundamental level, the vast majority of Catholic work environments are unhealthy environments. How can they not be when, in the final analysis, they must enforce the Catholic hierarchy's dysfunctional and unhealthy perspective on sexuality?

With wider society increasingly leading the way toward a much healthier perspective on sexuality (the advances in marriage equality being a prime example), it's little wonder that LGBT people within Catholic work environments are finding they "can't do it anymore." And nor should they.


Choosing a life of honesty and integrity

I've followed a number of cases were LGBT people have either resigned or been fired from Catholic institutions. And as difficult as the situation was initially for these folks, they've actually moved on to a much better place in their lives. For one thing, they're no longer closeted. And, let's be honest, why would we want anyone to remain in a situation where they can't be their true and full selves? That's a terrible way to live. I know as I lived it for many years. Oh, to be sure, we can justify it by saying something like, it's better to be "on the inside" doing what we can to help others.

Well, let me tell you, that only lasts so long. Ultimately, the best way we can help others, say, for example, young people at a Catholic school, is to live a life of honesty and integrity. That's what Kristen Ostndorf has chosen to do after eighteen years of being in a work environment that, as she says, required her to "hide and compromise and deny who I am."

I'm happy that Kristen is out of such an unhealthy environment. I'm sad that such environments still exist – especially within a faith community that claims inspiration from the life and message of Jesus. There's a major disconnect there, to be sure. This disconnect is something else that many gay people – Kriten Ostendorf included – are finding they can no longer embody in their work lives.


Young Catholics: Not buying the dysfunction of the hierarchy

I feel bad for those still trapped in this environment – the young people of Totino-Grace in particular. But I know that most young people are equipped with acute 'bull-shit' detectors, and that, accordingly, however the leadership of Totino-Grace and/or the St. Paul-Minneapolis Archdiocese try to spin this story, the students at Totino-Grace and elsewhere will see through it. Indeed, I wouldn't be surprised in the least if we hear about some subtle and not-so-subtle student-led protests, similar to ones we've witnessed elsewhere.

I also take hope in knowing that the positive and healthy messages young people receive today about gender and sexuality through various aspects of our culture, and often via their family and friends, greatly outweigh the negative and dysfunctional messages the Catholic hierarchy attempts to indoctrinate them with. Again, the incredible support for and success of marriage equality points to this reality. Young Catholics – indeed, Catholics in general – aren't buying the dysfunction of the hierarchy.


Fear and betrayal

Finally, I feel bad for those in leadership at Totino-Grace who fired Kristen. They must be feeling like shit . . . Well, I hope they're feeling like shit because it was a truly shitty thing they did. After all, Kristen was a friend and colleague they've known for eighteen years. Why the rush to fire her? Oh, sure, I get it that in the dysfunctional environment of a Catholic institution truth-telling is the greatest of sins, but why not wait until word got out about Kristen's "truth-telling" and the Archdiocese demanded her termination? If nothing else, this certainly would have given her more time to find another job. I can't believe that the leadership of Totino-Grace really supports and wants to enforce the hierarchy's erroneous and damaging sexual theology. Fear, I guess, is a powerful thing. Better to be seen to take action before being told to take action by those above you – even if it means treating a friend and colleague poorly and sending a terrible message to the young people of the school.

And what is this terrible message? Well, first, let's back up a minute. Did you know that in the late-1990s Totino-Grace was one of eight of eleven Catholic high schools of the Archdiocese that were part of the Safe Schools Initiative of the Catholic Pastoral Committee on Sexual Minorities (CPCSM)? How sad that the message the school is now sending its students is one that says: It is not safe to be a person of honesty and integrity, at least in a Catholic setting.

What a betrayal all round that message is.

And what a pity also that rather than fearing the wrath of the anti-gay Archbishop Nienstedt, the leadership at Totino-Grace couldn't find the strength and inspiration to emulate the gentle "Who am I to judge" spirit of Pope Francis?

They didn't, and as a result fear and betrayal won the day.


A place of acceptance and safety

But I remain hopeful. Life and love extend well beyond the various dysfunctional systems and environments of the Catholic hierarchy. Sure, I'll support those working to reform these systems and environments, but I also don't hesitate to direct and lead others to places of acceptance and safety beyond them.

My sense (and hope) is that like William Hudson, who resigned as Totino-Grace president earlier this year after revealing he was in a same-sex relationship, Kristen Ostendorf, despite the initial shock and uncertainly resulting from her firing, will soon find herself in a work environment of acceptance and safety.


Recommended Off-site Links:
Fired After She Came Out to Colleagues, Totino-Grace Teacher Leaves Dissonance and Silence Behind – Jim Walsh (MinnPost, September 11, 2013).
Second Gay Teacher Leaves Totino-Grace – Jana Shortal (KARE 11 News, September 12, 2013).
Totino-Grace President Resigns After Revealing Same-Sex Relationship – Anthony Lonetree (Star Tribune, July 2, 2013).
After Totino-Grace Exit, Bill Hudson Finds Home at Mounds Park Academy – Mila Koumpilova (Pioneer Press, September 5, 2013).
On Labor Day, Let’s Remember LGBT People Fired from Catholic Institutions – Francis DeBernardo (Bondings 2.0, September 2, 2013).

See also the previous Wild Reed posts:
Quote of the Day – September 2, 2013
Truth Telling: The Greatest of Sins in a Dysfunctional Church
Church Fires "Openly" Gay Music Director
Compassion, Cristian Community, and Homosexuality
For the Record: CPCSM's Safe Schools Initiative
CPCSM and Archdiocese of St. Paul-Minneapolis (Part 1)
CPCSM and Archdiocese of St. Paul-Minneapolis (Part 2)
CPCSM and Archdiocese of St. Paul-Minneapolis (Part 3)
CPCSM and Archdiocese of St. Paul-Minneapolis (Part 4)
Thoughts on Archbishop Nienstedt
Progressive Perspectives on Archbishop Nienstedt's Anti-Gay Activism
Beyond the Hierarchy: The Blossoming of Liberating Catholic Insights on Sexuality
Knowing What to Do, Knowing Why to Stay

Image: Jim Walsh (MinnPost).

GSAs and the Catholic High School Setting

A coalition of youth advocacy organizations, including the Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network (GLSEN), has designated today, February 6, as National Gay-Straight Alliance Day.

To mark this special and important day I share two excerpts from my book, Creating Environments for LGBT Students: A Catholic Schools Perspective (Harrington Park, 2007), a resource that has its roots in the Minnesota-based Catholic Pastoral Committee on Sexual Minorities' Safe Schools Initiative of the mid-late 1990s. (For more about this initiative, click here.)

Creating Environments for LGBT Students is basically a 'safe staff/school' training manual and, as far as I know, the only one available specifically geared to the Catholic high school setting. I'm sure most of my readers are already aware of the need for creating safe spaces in our schools for LGBT students and those questioning their orientation and/or gender identity. But in case you're reading this and are unaware of the unique challenges posed to LGBT students, here are some helpful stats from GLSEN.

• More than 85 percent of LGBT students have been verbally harassed;

• Nearly 20 percent of LGBT students were physically assaulted by their peers at school;

• Almost 40 percent of LGBT students reported that faculty and staff never intervene when homophobic language is used in their presence;

• Nearly 30 percent of LGBT students reported missing at least one entire school day because they felt unsafe.”

GLSEN and other youth advocacy organizations believe that the establishment of Gay-Straight Alliances (GSAs) at schools will go a long way in addressing the types of negative experiences listed above and thus making schools safer environments for LGBT and questioning youth.

Following is how I describe GSAs and their history in Creating Safe Environments for LGBT Students: A Catholic Schools Perspective.

Gay-Straight Alliances were formed to promote support and advocacy for LGBT students in schools. These school clubs are run by and for students, with a faculty/staff moderator as required by the school's cocurrucular guidelines. To date [2007] there are over 2,000 Gay-Straight Alliance (GSA) clubs registered in the United States, with the vast majority of them being in public schools.

The first Gay-Straight Alliance was actually formed in an independent school in Massachusetts. In 1988 Kevin Jennings [left], a history teacher at Concord Academy, came out to the student body during a chapel reflection. It was then that he created the first GSA in the country.

Beginning with developing support and advocacy for gay students, Jennings expanded his initiate to create a cohesive network of teachers, parents, and other members of the community. The original teacher organization was called "School's Out." By 1993 the network was renamed the Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network (GLSEN), and its influence was recognized nationally. Massachusetts became the first stte to prohibit discrimination against public school students based on sexual orientation. It was anti-discrimination legislation, however, which did not extend to private school students. In 1995 Jennings was named GLSEN's first executive director, and today there are over ninety chapters of the organization across the United States.

With the tremendous resources available to gay-straight alliances through GLSEN it is important to ask whether or not these resources can be adapted to the private school -- specifically, the Catholic school. It is important to recognize that the name "gay-straight alliance" is uniquely linked to the national organization of GLSEN. While GLSEN's primary goal is the development of safe schools for LGBT students, it also seeks to influence national educational policies. While Catholic schools can benefit from the many resources available through GLSEN, it may do so at the cost of becoming affiliated with a national organization that does not align with official church teaching.

Even though tools and resources are plentiful from GLSEN, this organization does not comply with the guidelines provided by Church teaching. Specifically, while there is agreement concerning the obligation to respect all people, there is no adherence to the Church's teaching regarding abstinence for the homosexual. Therefore, any Catholic school that seeks to form a GSA must be willing and prepared to explain its connection, if any, to the GLSEN organization. This association, if in name only, can be problematic. It could well be that the association is too strong and it is much more important to provide support for LGBT students and their allies than to use a title that draws unnecessary concern. It may be better that a supportive organization be developed and that the students themselves provide the group name. In one Catholic high school, the students kept the acronym GSA but had it represent "Growing Seeds of Alliance."

In that part of Creating Safe Environments for LGBT Students: A Catholic Schools Perspective in which the above is shared, other important issues are explored, including establishing classrooms of respect, safety, and support; ways of empowering school policy; utilizing the school's 'foundational stories' to support the establishment of safe environments; effectively communicating with parents about such environments; and how to go about establishing LGBT/Ally student groups. The later is explored through the following guidelines written by Catholic high school teacher Genevieve Goodsil-Todd. These guidelines are based on Goodsil-Todd's first-hand experience of establishing an LGBT/Ally group in her Catholic high school.

1. When organizing a student group it is important that the initiative be as student-generated and student-led as possible.

2. It is also important to remember that a group can be three people!

3. Getting started might be as simple as creating a discussion group on topics of diversity and setting the atmosphere for respect and inclusion for all students,

4. A student group/club that focuses on discussion of homophobia and respect for all students of any sexual orientation must begin with student interest. Yet generating student interest will likely come from a broader discussion and/or treatment of the school environment and diversity in general rather than from a direct reference to a "group of gay kids."

5. Depending on the school's culture, a very direct call for a sexual orientation group will not get a huge response. In fact, it may be less threatening to develop a group for students who wish to be allies for those who are LGBT. In this context, student members may know, love, and respect people who are LGBT (e.g., family members, friends, neighbors, etc.) and wish to consider ways to make the world a better place in their regard.

6. It is important to make the distinction between a student group/club and a group that may be offered and led by a therapist/counselor within the school's counseling department. Although there certainly are times when a student who is LGBT/ally may need counseling/group support, that is not the purpose of the student group/club.

7. One student group currently operating in a Catholic high school is known as Growing Seeds of Alliance. Meeting once a week during lunch, Growing Seeds of Alliance is not about discussing or promoting the "gay lifestyle," but about educating the school community in an effort to encourage respect for, and eliminate both overt and covert acts of discrimination against, people who might be, or might be perceived to be, homosexual.

8. The only requirement for being a member of Growing Seeds of Alliance is a concern and respect for people who are LGBT, and a willingness to be an agent of respect both in and outside of the school community.

9. Fulfilling this purpose, the Roman Catholic Church's teaching on homosexuality is not compromised or left unclear. This teaching is upheld with needed emphasis on the teaching's encouragement to address unjust discrimination and fear (Catechism of the Catholic Church, #2359).

10. The Growing Seeds of Alliance student group exists, in large part, to address a specific problem. This problem is likely in every school and workplace, and maybe in every home. The problem is not homosexual activity among teenagers or an eroding compromise of the teaching of Roman Catholic Church on homosexuality. Rather, the problem is fear. And fear is a consuming emotion – a sibling in the family of emotions that wants every portion and place at the table. Fear drives out both gratitude and appreciation. When someone fears someone or something, she or he cannot be grateful for or appreciate what the other brings. For example, equity is nearly impossible when a man fears a woman's increased access to decision-making and power. Nothing did more to the campaign of demonizing the black man than the fear produced against him by the white male. Therefore, as long as both homosexual and heterosexual persons fear homosexuality, there is a need for a group like Growing Seeds of Alliance.

Of course, not everyone agrees with Goodsil-Todd's position of supporting LGBT students without challenging church teachings on homosexuality. See, for example, Lakehead University professor Gerald Walton's July 2008 review of Creating Safe Environments for LGBT Students: A Catholic Schools Perspective.

For more reviews, click here and here.


Related Off-site Links:
Today is National Gay-Straight Alliance Day – Zack Ford (ThinkProgress.org, February 6, 2013).
Formation of Gay-Straight Alliances Should Be Top Priority at Catholic Schools – Bob Shine (Bondings 2.0, February 6, 2013).
On National Gay-Straight Alliance Day, Florida County School Board Plans to Ban All Student Clubs to Stop GSA – Andy Marra (GLSEN, February 6, 2013).
Nuns, LGBT Youth and the Power of a Single Song – Mark Canavera (The Huffington Post, January 31, 2013).
A Conversation with Kevin Jennings – Will Simmons (The Harvard Independent, April 27, 2012).

See also the previous Wild Reed posts:
• For the Record
• My Response to Archbishop Flynn
• CPCSM and the Archdiocese of St. Paul-Minneapolis (Part 1)
• CPCSM and the Archdiocese of St. Paul-Minneapolis (Part 2)
• CPCSM and the Archdiocese of St. Paul-Minneapolis (Part 3)
• CPCSM and the Archdiocese of St. Paul-Minneapolis (Part 4)
• The Two Editorials that Benilde-St. Margaret's Catholic High School Doesn't Want You to Read
• Dave Navarro to LGBT Youth: "We Need Your Voice"
• President Obama's Message to Bullied LGBT Youth: "It Gets Better"
• Confronting Classroom Homophobia
• Quote of the Day – October 4, 2010
• Quote of the Day – October 19, 2010
• A Girl Named Sara: "A Person of the Resurrection"

Michael Bayly: Changing the Church from Within

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By Bryna Godar


NOTE: Bryna Godar is a media studies student at the University of Minnesota. A class assignment last December involved her writing a profile of a public figure. Although I'm not really sure if I count as a "public figure," I was nevertheless honored when Bryna contacted me and asked if I'd be willing to be the subject of her assignment. Recently Bryna shared with me her finished profile and gave me permission to publish it at The Wild Reed. So here it is . . . with special thanks to my friends Philip Jacquet-Morrison, Joan Demeules, Paula Ruddy, Mary Bednarowski and Mary Lynn Murphy for saying such nice things about me!


“I think I always knew, even from the time I was a young child, that I was different,” Michael Bayly said. “But then the first time I matched up that feeling of differentness with the word or the idea of homosexuality, I was about maybe 14, it was just terrifying, because I didn’t want to be that.”

Bayly, now 46, grew up Catholic in the small farming community of Gunnedah in Australia. “I was 17 or 18 when I said to myself: Okay, I’m gay.” Once he got to college, Bayly realized, “You know what? I can define what that means, what gay means. It doesn’t mean that you have to fall into these pre-designed or pre-ordained ways of being. You can still be you.”

Now, Bayly is working in Minneapolis as executive coordinator of the Catholic Pastoral Committee on Sexual Minorities to defeat the marriage amendment on the ballot in November 2012. In May 2011, the Minnesota House passed a constitutional amendment that would define marriage as between one man and one woman, placing the issue on voter ballots. This spurred CPCSM, a progressive Catholic group, to start Catholics for Marriage Equality MN (C4ME-MN), a group striving to advance marriage equality through advocacy and education. Bayly is at the forefront of this group.

“Lots of people haven’t thought about it, so that’s our task now, to get people to think about this issue and make up their minds to vote against [the amendment] in November 2012,” said Paula Ruddy, a colleague of Bayly’s at the Catholic Coalition for Church Reform.

C4ME most recently produced a DVD consisting of five clips of people talking about faith, family, and marriage. The speakers include Sen. Scott Dibble and his husband, a lesbian couple, two sets of parents with a gay or lesbian child, and a straight male ally.

“They all come from a slightly different angle, but they all really speak from the heart. The whole point of the DVD is to generate discussion and to hopefully change hearts and minds about this issue,” Bayly said. C4ME is organizing small groups of Catholics all over Minnesota to get together to watch the videos and discuss them.

Joan Demeules, a friend of Bayly’s, said the film “epitomizes [Michael’s] approach of love, one-to-one interaction, and sharing people's stories to really help change hearts.”

On their website, the group has a Catholic statement of support for marriage equality that supporters can sign. The group plans to take out ads in the major state papers with the statement of support printed and a cut-off pledge readers can mail in.

The group is focused on civil marriage. “We’re not expecting the Church to start marrying people in parishes,” Bayly said. “But we feel that the hierarchy’s understanding of marriage shouldn’t be imposed on civil society.”

In September, the Archdiocese of St. Paul and Minneapolis and the Minnesota Catholic Conference issued a joint statement about Catholics for Marriage Equality MN. In the statement, the Archdiocese asks that Catholics avoid associating themselves with the group, and not be “deceived by its messages, which are in conflict with the fundamental teachings of the Church.” The Archdiocese and the MCC declined to comment further.


Catholic Background

Bayly continues to identify with the Catholic tradition, striving to change the Church from within. “I just think the Church is bigger than the hierarchy, bigger than the Vatican. And the Church’s own teachings support this. I think we’re living through a time in church history when the church has been hijacked, in a sense, by a very narrow, reactionary element,” he said. “This needs to be resisted and challenged, and somehow by staying in, I think your voice is more credible than if you’re outside.”

Bayly was born and raised Catholic and has studied theology extensively. He taught at a Catholic elementary school in Australia from 1988 to 1993 and moved to Minnesota in 1994 to study at St. Catherine’s College in St. Paul. He graduated in 1996 with a Master of Arts in Theology. In 2003 he received another Master of Arts in Theology and the Arts from United Theological Seminary with a focus on film and theology.

Mary Bednarowski, one of Bayly’s professors at United Theological Seminary, said, “He was theologically articulate. He knew his tradition, the Roman Catholic tradition, and he was good at interpreting social contexts and the world around us in terms of the tradition.”

“He has a different understanding of what it means to be Catholic,” said Bayly’s friend and neighbor, Phil Jacquet-Morrison. “I think he has an understanding that Catholicism is not about an institution; Catholicism is not about the Vatican; it’s not about the man in Rome. It’s about trying to emulate the spirit of Christ. I think that’s why he was able to remain, to retain that identity.”

Bayly said, “I’ve always been interested in the way people talk about their experiences of God in their lives, and I was curious to reflect on and articulate my experience of God in my life as a gay person.” He wrote his thesis on the coming out process as a spiritual journey, examining the stages of coming out first to himself and God, and later to others.


Coming Out

“I was closeted in Australia,” Bayly said. “When you’re closeted, everything is so distorted; your fears sort of distort everything.”

As a teacher in a Catholic school, Bayly did not tell anyone he was gay. “It was a very happy and creative period of my life, but on another level it was pretty isolating ’cause you just weren’t out to anyone, I wasn’t really.”

“I think most people in their twenties channel a certain amount of energy into exploring relationships and who they are sexually and all that. But I just diverted and channeled it into my teaching career. It meant I had a wonderful classroom environment, very colorful and creative, but there was a price to pay for that. I think the reason I was so good was because I didn’t have much of a life anywhere else.”

“I kept thinking, ‘Okay, I’m gonna meet someone, we’re gonna fall in love, and that will give me the reason and the strength to come out.’ In time I realized you can’t always depend on other people or on that type of relationship to be honest about yourself; sometimes you just have to do it alone.”

Bayly moved to the U.S. in 1994 in order to come out and to study theology. “It felt difficult to come out [in Australia] and take on the straight persona that I’d created in order to maintain my teaching career,” he said.

About a year and a half after moving to the U.S., Bayly came out to his parents in a letter that he sent on St. Valentine’s Day. “I thought, what better gift of love can you give to someone than just sharing with them who you really are?”


Opposition

Bayly faces opposition through many channels, including direct confrontations, official statements, and online comments. The Vatican sent a letter to high schools denouncing a book he wrote in 2007 entitled, Creating Safe Environments for LGBT Students: A Catholic Schools Perspective. Bayly secured a copy and framed the letter.

A friend of Bayly’s, Joan Demeules, recounted a direct confrontation: “He was at a booth talking about the issue of GLBT people and their challenges, and a woman came up to him and said to him that all gay men wanted to do was to have sex. He sat for, I bet you, 45 minutes with that woman, and talked with her and challenged her. And at the end, when she did leave, she did so with a converted heart and wanted to give him a hug.”

Mary Lynn Murphy, a colleague from CPCSM, said, “I don’t think I’ve ever seen an incident when he demeaned the other side in any way. He never thinks of rabbit-punching somebody or hitting below the belt or pulling out an argument just because it might make the other side look bad.”

“He recognizes that people have rights to think whatever they want, they’re entitled to their own opinions,” said his friend, Jacquet-Morrison.

Bayly has become somewhat disillusioned with his goals to change the Catholic Church. “Even if the Church were to change tomorrow on this issue, there’s so many other issues I just don’t agree with,” he said.

“I just think that spiritually, maybe I’ve evolved beyond any one tradition.” he said. “Maybe humanity as a whole is at a state of some sort of collective evolution where institutional religions are a thing of the past. Maybe we’re called to a new level of consciousness where those types of divisions don’t have a role, don’t have a part.”

“For now,” he said, “I’m obviously committed to doing what I can as a self-identified Catholic to defeat the marriage amendment and bring about some sort of reform within the church around the issue of sexuality, but I don’t see myself doing this forever.”

Bayly said that after November 2012, and hopefully the amendment’s defeat, he might move back to Australia to be closer to his family. “I think I’ve probably had enough of taking on the church hierarchy,” he said. “This could be the last hurrah; it would be a wonderful way to go out.”


Image: David Joles, November 2009. (Note: The image on the wall behind me is of St. Sergius and Bacchus).

See also the previous Wild Reed posts:
Knowing What to Do, Knowing Why to Stay
Trusting God's Generous Invitation
Choosing to Stay
Thanks, Mum!
One of These Boys . . .
Soul Deep
Somewhere In Between
Dew[y]-Kissed

An Inspiring Event

Yesterday I had the honor of speaking at a very inspiring event. It was a day-long conference entitled "Cultivating Respect: Creating Safe Schools for All Students." Geared for teachers, social workers, administrators, counselors, parents of GLBTQ individuals, students, GLBTQ youth and allies, and Gay/Straight Alliance leaders, the "Cultivating Respect" conference was organized and sponsored by PFLAG Twin Cities and held at Hamline University in St. Paul.

Along with three others I spoke on a panel entitled "How Religion Can Help (Since We’ve Mainly Done the Opposite)." I shared my insights and experiences as a Catholic educator, author and reformer. Here's how the panel was described in the conference program:

Breck chaplain and GSA adviser John Bellaimey moderates this panel which debunks religious myths and shows how people of different religious backgrounds can advocate for LGBT students. The panel features Protestant Mark Osler, head of the Association of Religious Law Schools; Michael Bayly, educator and author of Creating Safe Schools for LGBT Students: A Catholic Schools Perspective; Muslim Blake student Asma Haidara; and Rabbi Melissa Simon, Director of Lifelong Learning at Shir Tivkah Synagogue in Minneapolis.

During my presentation I noted that in writing and compiling Creating Safe Schools for LGBT Students: A Catholic Schools Perspective, I consciously made a point of highlighting those aspects of Catholic teaching that affirm and support the creating of an informed, respectful and safe environment for LGBT students in Catholic schools. For instance, in their 1981 document Education in Human Sexuality for Christians, the U.S. Catholic Bishops note that:

[Teenagers] need basic information regarding homosexuality. . . . They should be helped to integrate their developing sexuality into their relational lives in ways that reflect respect for themselves and others and foster mutual personal growth. . . . Knowledge, in itself, is not harmful. Therefore, every major facet of knowledge and values in relation to sexuality should be covered at some point . . . including such subjects as homosexuality. . . . To withhold knowledge or to answer questions dishonestly can only lead to misinformation and a warped set of values.

Since 1981, however, the bishops' wise call for knowledge and the honest answering of questions (i.e., dialogue) has been ignored in favor of a demand for unquestioning obedience to the clerical caste's understanding and teaching on human sexuality.

Not surprisingly, then, when Creating Safe Environments for LGBT Students: A Catholic Schools Perspective was published in 2007, the Vatican response to it was one of denouncement. Archbishop Angelo Amato of the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith wrote to then-Archbishop Flynn of St. Paul-Minneapolis and informed him that the book was “not suitable to be used in Catholic schools” as it “calls into question the teaching of the Church on homosexuality.” Clearly, unquestioning obedience to the church's erroneous and dysfunctional sexual theology trumps efforts to create safe and respectful environments for students. This is a great tragedy as the demand for unquestioning obedience cancels out any need for listening. And without listening there can be no true respect for others.

Of course, during my presentation I also highlighted positive aspects of the Catholic tradition. In particular, I talked about Catholicism's sacramental nature from which we discern that the hallmark of the faith isn't unquestioning obedience but openness to God throughout creation – including within the lives and relationships of LGBT people. I also talked about the primacy of conscience and the church's teachings on social justice. As I've noted elsewhere, the social justice teachings of the Church are clearly rooted in Jesus’ life and preaching. Not so the church’s teaching on homosexuality. For many Catholics the call for social justice supersedes certain teachings of the church that reflect a medieval and inadequate understanding of human sexuality – teachings that, accordingly, are unresponsive to the presence and movement of the Spirit in the lives of LGBT people.

PFLAG's "Cultivating Respect" conference facilitated and modeled the type of knowledge-sharing, listening and dialogue that is sadly lacking in the Catholic Church, at least at the official level. It should be noted that such respect-cultivating activities are definitely taking place at the grassroots, as evidenced locally by the "home church" gatherings currently being facilitated by Catholics for Marriage Equality MN.

We have a long way to go, however, before topics like the following ones covered by the "Cultivating Respect" conference are openly discussed and explored at all levels of the Catholic Church.

• A Place at the Whiteboard: Diverse Educational Professionals Collaborating to Create Safe Schools for LGBTQ Youths

• Impact on Physical and Mental Health: The Chronic and Acute Trauma of Bullying in LGBT Youth

• How to Create Safe Spaces for Transgender Students: Language and Practices to Ensure a Safe and Nurturing Environment for Students on the Transgender Spectrum

• Creating Safe Spaces Beyond the GSA: How Students Can Create Positive Change in Their Schools

• The Minnesota Marriage Amendment: Is it Government-Sanctioned Bullying?

I should also mention that the conference's keynote speaker was Jamie Nabozny who, after years of harassment and abuse as a student, won a landmark lawsuit in federal court that established that young people deserve a safe educational experience. His story is told in Bullied, a short documentary film produced by the Southern Poverty Law Center. I can remember hearing Nabozny speak in 2002, when he was the featured speaker at a Catholic Pastoral Committee on Sexual Minorities (CPCSM) event at St. Albert the Great Church in South Minneapolis.

Following is Minnesota Public Radio's coverage of the "Cultivating Respect" conference.

_____________________________

Gay and Lesbian Issues
on Tap at Bullying Summit

By Tom Weber

Minnesota Public Radio
January 20, 2012

Organizers of an anti-bullying summit in St. Paul Friday say they're glad the issue is getting wider attention, but schools still have more to do.

The Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbian and Gays-hosted event at Hamline University focuses specifically on the bullying of gay and lesbian school students.

Board member Gretchen Murr said the need for more information has been evident when she speaks in schools.

"We were finding teachers begging for information," Murr said. "We decided that we were going to try to put it together."

Speakers included Jamie Nabozny, who won a landmark LGBT harassment lawsuit in the 1990s.

He said some schools and students are doing great work to raise awareness, but there are still stigmas to overcome. He cited the example that physical bullying is treated as more severe than verbal bullying.

"The words that were spoken to me and the things that were said to me will stick in my head forever," he said. "But I don't remember the physical pain I endured from the beatings, when people hit me. I don't remember that. And so it bothers me when kids, but even adults, will downplay the impact that verbal harassment has."

Nabozny said prevention efforts must include all three people involved in bullying: the bully, the victim and the bystander.

The Hazelden Addiction Treatment Center is planning an anti-bullying event in March.



Recommended Off-site Links:
Bullied Gay Teen Finds Purpose -- Maria Elena Baca (Star Tribune, January 19, 2012).
Students in Blake's Justice League to Be Honored at Hamline Anti-Bullying Conference -- Beth Hawkins (MinnPost.com, January 17, 2012).

For more about CPCSM's role in safe staff training in the St. Paul-Minneapolis Archdiocese, see the following Wild Reed posts:
CPCSM and the Archdiocese of St. Paul-Minneapolis (Part 3)
CPCSM and the Archdiocese of St. Paul-Minneapolis (Part 4)

Also, for reviews of Creating Safe Environments for LGBT Students: A Catholic Schools Perspective, see here, here and here.