See also the previous Wild Reed posts:
• A Summer Sunset Psalm
• The Dance of a Summer Day
• Photo of the Day – June 17, 2023
• Saaxiib Qurux Badan – June 4, 2023
• Summer Vignettes (2022)
Images: Michael J. Bayly.
Thoughts & interests of a queer seeker of the Divine Presence;
of a “soul dancer,” seeking to embody with grace and verve
the mystico-prophetic spiritual tradition
It is my foundational belief that we all know who we are from a very young age, including the truest expression of our gender identity. And we actually spend most of our lives searching for the words and the tools and the safety and the agency to share ourselves with the world.
Queer author and activist Leslie Feinberg said, “Gender is the poetry we write with the language we are taught.”
If we give kids the language, if we open the [full] box of crayons [for them], they will tell us who they are.
So, no, this is not a “trend” or a “fad.” I think this is the revealing of a truth, a truth that has always existed. And kids can’t draw the truth of themselves with just one crayon [a pink or a blue one]. . . . Kids today are seeing more and more LGBTQ folks; we are giving them a bigger box of crayons, and they are actually drawing for us more imaginative pictures of what it means to be a boy or a girl or something in between than many of us can ever remember.
And so what is our job as parents, as pediatricians, as aunts, uncles, grandparents, friends, neighbors, teachers?
Our job is to listen; our job is to ask interesting questions and then listen for the answer.
Who are you? What do you like? What makes you feel like you?
And when kids begin to show themselves to us, we support them without steering; we reveal our own gender identities. We ask and share names and pronouns.
What I’ve learnt in my role as a pediatrician in the last fifteen years, and as a pediatrician that specializes in the care of transgender and gender-diverse kids, is that these kids don’t need me to figure them out. They need me to listen, to really listen, and to help them amplify the voice that’s inside them. They need me to help them be heard.
And when these kids begin to show themselves to us, when they start down that brave journey of self-discovery, we remind them that they are beautiful and strong and resilient. And most importantly, we love them, we fully and fiercely and wholeheartedly love them.
If we do this, our kids will draw for us the most beautiful pictures of who they are. They will write for us the beautiful poetry of their identities. And in doing this, they will expand the world of gender – and not just for them but for all of us. Because how many of us were given just two crayons to choose from but longed for a bigger box? How many of us weren’t given the right tools of language to describe our own identities?
You see, in loving and supporting transgender and gender-diverse kids, we’re not only helping them be more free and true versions of themselves, we’re helping all of us have the language we need to discover ourselves.
Leslie Feinberg also said, “My right to be me is tied with a thousand threads to your right to be you.”
Because, after all, we all deserve a bigger box of crayons.
The White House says Indian Prime Minister Narendra Modi’s visit is part of an effort to counter China. That is exactly the wrong mentality – similar to our attitude toward Russia that helped provoke the war in Ukraine.
We need to begin a new era. The world is too dangerous a place for major powers to always be thinking in terms of “countering” each other. We share this planet.
Our goal should not be how to counter each other but rather how to collaborate with each other. From nuclear bombs to climate crisis to AI, the most critical issues must be faced together.
Stand firm for what we believe in, yes – and not be anybody’s fool – but we must free ourselves from the default perspective of us-versus-them, the reactive and oppositional mentality that inevitably leads to conflict.
The only way the world will be safe for our children’s children is if we learn to wage peace.
In the very first car of [today’s] Twin Cities Pride Parade will sit one of the state’s biggest supporters of transgender teens and children.
Instead of shrinking from the politics of a moment when trans people feel under attack, parade organizers wanted to put their full symbolic support behind them. That’s why they chose Dr. Angela Kade Goepferd, medical director of the Children’s Minnesota Gender Health program, as grand marshal of one of America’s largest Pride parades. Goepferd has been working to help transgender youth for more than a decade.
“Dr. Goepferd never wavers, and puts their patients and the protection of those patients above themselves,” said Andi Otto, executive director of Twin Cities Pride. “It was a no-brainer to me because of everything they are trying to accomplish in a world that’s trying to push back twice as hard.”
Goepferd, who identifies as queer and nonbinary and uses they/them pronouns, believes next weekend’s Pride Festival will have a more urgent tone than in years past.
“The trans community has been particularly targeted this year – and unfortunately, within that, it’s really been focused on trans kids,” Goepferd said. “It will be really visually powerful and affirming to see someone who cares for trans kids at the front of the parade. This year more than ever, that’s really, really important.”
The symbolism will be amplified by dozens of their colleagues from Children’s Minnesota departments walking behind them.
Goepferd, 45, has testified several times at the State Capitol about gender-affirming medical care. The University of Minnesota Medical School graduate has been skewered in conservative media for the medical care they provide to trans and gender-diverse kids. At the same time, Goepferd has been lionized in progressive media for giving voice to a vulnerable population.
Twin Cities Pride is always a big, vibrant event; this year, 120 groups will join the parade. Since the first parade here in 1972, a few years after New York City’s Stonewall [uprising] sparked the ongoing fight for LGBTQ rights, it’s grown into one of the 10 largest in the nation.
But as the event continues its growth – 620 vendors in and around Loring Park, up from 450 last year – a cloud will hang over this year’s celebration.
The Human Rights Campaign, the nation’s largest LGBTQ civil rights organization, declared a “state of emergency” this month for LGBTQ Americans after more than 75 “anti-LGBTQ+ bills” were signed into law this year, more than double the year before. This year, 19 states passed laws restricting gender-related health care for children and teens, following three others that had such laws earlier.
Political debates have run the gamut, from regulating drag shows to arguing what’s appropriate for school libraries to determining whether transgender girls and women – people assigned male at birth who identify as female – ought to be allowed to compete on girls’ and women’s sports teams.
Even basic language can invite conflict; what one side calls a “transgender man,” the other side calls a “biological female.” When doctors like Goepferd speak about science behind “gender-affirming care,” opponents signal skepticism or opposition by dismissing it as “gender ideology.”
Otto wanted this year’s Pride to focus on trans youth, especially as the mental health crisis among American youth is amplified among the trans population.
“We’re trying to be loud and proud when so many people are telling you to be quiet and hide,” Otto said.
Northfield City Council Member Davin Sokup, one of nearly 100 trans or nonbinary elected officials nationwide, said this parade will be especially powerful after Minnesota passed laws making the state a trans refuge.
His favorite part is always when members of PFLAG – parents, family and allies of LGBTQ people – walk by. A quiet descends. The audience claps.
“A lot of people don't have family members willing to do that, or have lost family members due to coming out,” Sokup said.
On a recent afternoon, Goepferd sat inside their office at Children’s Minnesota, wearing their signature bow tie and a “PROTECT TRANS KIDS” button. A parent to three elementary-age children, Goepferd considers the political focus on transgender people and gender-affirming care a manufactured controversy.
Goepferd has been a pediatrician at Children’s Minnesota since 2007. Over time, they became known for specializing in LGBTQ care. Goepferd helped start the Minnesota Transgender Health Coalition, then, with an endocrinologist and psychologist, launched the gender health program in 2019.
For years, Goepferd’s job hardly attracted notice. Their contemporaries seemed to be gaining momentum on research and access to care. Suddenly, over the past year or two, this medical subspecialty became the center of the cultural storm, and entire states shut it down.
“You got this patient population that’s extremely vulnerable but was finally seeing a little bit of light through the doorway,” Goepferd said. “And now the door has just been slammed shut.”
Feeling cast as a villain has been disorienting, Goepferd said.
“Ninety percent of what I do is sit in rooms with families and have very long conversations,” Goepferd said. “This is about helping affirm who a child is and get them the support and resources they need. Some of the time, that will involve medications. Not all the time — not even most of the time. And because we are a pediatric and adolescent care center, surgery is not a part of care for kids. . . . It’s not even something most transgender adults access.”
Pressed on gender-affirming surgery among minors, Goepferd offered some context. Bottom surgeries – genital surgeries on transgender people – are exceedingly rare among adolescents, they said. They referenced a New York Times story about how top surgeries – removing or augmenting breast tissue to create a more masculine or feminine appearance – have been on the rise among transgender teens.
But it irked Goepferd that while gender-affirming surgeries have become the tip of the spear in the culture wars, there’s virtually no controversy on top surgeries among cisgender teens. A 2020 study by the American Society of Plastic Surgeons showed about 8,000 cosmetic breast augmentation or reduction surgeries on cisgender people ages 13 to 19.
“Gender-affirming surgery is just not a part of the care we’re routinely providing,” Goepferd said. “It’s been blown way out of context relative to what we really do with families, which is help them navigate questions, help them navigate schools, help them figure out how they have difficult conversations with their neighbors, their family members, their teachers. That’s what we’re doing.”
“I’m in the room with parents who come to me with very different perspectives,” Goepferd continued. “A lot of parents think this is a social contagion, or they don’t believe their child, or they’re unsure. What I say to parents is, ‘Let’s figure this out together.’ If the belief is simply that transgender people don’t exist and don’t have a right to exist, then I’m not going to get very far. But if the fear is harm is being done to kids, or there’s some agenda at play, I can talk through that pretty easily.”
From the depths of holy silence, I give thanks for the joy and energy of life. May all beings enjoy the vitality of their existence.
I remember all who suffer great pain and long-term illness. May the Healer of Hurts breathe balm and restoration into all wounded lives.
May all negative, angry and harmful attitudes that I harbor within me be transformed into new and available life.
The dance of a Summer day calls my steps: may I respond to the rhythm and melody of its music.
Five souls go missing in the deep Atlantic, and the world rallies, confirming our view that the value of life is beyond limits. Technology, aircraft and shipping resources were put to use in a concerted effort to find and rescue these explorers. Media coverage has been constant and intensive throughout the effort. That’s inspiring.
Meanwhile, hundreds of people are at similar risk on the Mediterranean, fleeing oppression and danger in flimsy, overcrowded boats. Many die without aid, and the losses continue, largely ignored by the same interests that came together so valiantly to address the [Titanic exploration submersible] event. Children starve in great numbers across Africa and the Middle East, with little public or media response.
Apparently what we really value is drama and excitement, not human life. Put yourself at risk in an expensive, dangerous and completely unnecessary adventure, and society will spare no expense to correct your mistake. They will pray earnestly for your survival. Suffer due to being born in the wrong place, and you are on your own. Good luck.
O Beloved One,
this day’s light is seeping away,
and dark night crouches
beneath the amber horizons.
I am tired from the heat of the day
but not so weary that I can forget
this day’s rich harvest of gifts.
I lift up my heart to you,
singing a sunset song of gratitude.
I praise you for the blessings that fill my life,
for the gifts I can recall
and for treasures I take for granted.
Gently refresh me now
with your evergreen pardon
for my failure to drink deeply of your love,
hidden cleverly in each gift
that has come my way today.
Forgive my rushing past
the countless visions of you, unique to this day,
held so tenderly in the beauty of your love.
Blessed are you, my Beloved One,
who will soon wrap me in sleep
and hold me in the depths of your peace.
This is a dark day for our city. These findings are shocking, but sadly, not surprising. What’s worse, the report finds that many of the violations – such as the widespread failure to report race and gender in stops – increased after George Floyd’s murder in 2020. As a Black woman living in Minneapolis, I have experienced some of these violations firsthand.
We must demand a public safety system built on data and trust, not fear and racism. We must recognize that we cannot prosecute and incarcerate our way to sustainable public safety, that building that trust requires that we address the system that allows racial discrimination – from the disproportionate arrest and incarceration rates Black and Brown people face, to the marijuana laws that criminalize Black and Brown people.
We need to act at the federal level, including by passing my Amir Locke End Deadly No Knock Warrants Act, my package of bills making police violence against protesters a federal crime (among other provisions), and the George Floyd Justice in Policing Act. And most of all, we must build a police force that is well-trained, held accountable by its leadership, and follows the highest standards of ethics and conduct.