Quote of the Day

[Michael Voris (pictured at right), editor of ChurchMilitant.com and supporter of the Courage apostolate] is . . . telling the world he has a homosexual past. He speaks as if he is somehow "over" his past sexual orientation, which he chooses to see as a "forfeiting of masculinity."

I'm truly sorry for his suffering. I have to conclude, though, that there's such a deep, crippling sickness and confusion among right-wing Christians, whether Catholic, evangelical, or Mormon, around these issues of sexuality. Just sick – the need to lie, pretend, uphold rigid binary stereotypes about gender and impose them on all the rest of the world as divine revelation, deny the rich diversity of God's created world that does not fit into the narrow paradigms of the Christian right.

All that, and a ravenous need to target LGBTQ people and call that activity holiness. Sickening – and it creates sick, twisted people, when people buy into these thought patterns.

May Voris find some healing and liberation (and stop shouting at the rest of the world and come into vital contact with his inmost self when he quiets down).

– William D. Lindsey
via Facebook
April 22, 2016

Related Off-site Links:
Michael Voris of Church Militant Addresses His Gay Past in Shocker Video Statement – William D. Lindsey (Bilgrimage, April 22, 2016).
Anti-Gay Catholic Activist Michael Voris Confesses: I Used to Live a Sinful Life with Homosexual Men – Joe My God (April 23, 2016).
SHOCK: Anti-Gay Preacher Was Having Some Very Gay Sex – Dan Tracer (Queerty, April 25, 2016).
Anti-Gay Catholic Evangelist Reveals He Used to Have a Lot of Gay Sex – Sean Mandell (Towleroad, April 25, 2016).
New York Archdiocese Denies Allegation That It Sought to Smear Michael Voris – Catholic Herald (April 22, 2016).

See also the previous Wild Reed posts:
• The Dreaded "Same-Sex Attracted" View of Catholicism
• Officially Homophobic, Intensely Homoerotic
• Gay Men in the Vatican Are Giving the Rest of Us a Bad Name
• The Many Forms of Courage (Part I)
• The Many Forms of Courage (Part II)
• The Many Forms of Courage (Part III)
• Be Not Afraid, You Can Be Happy and Gay
• The Many Manifestations of God's Loving Embrace
• What Is It That Ails You?
• What the Vatican Can Learn from the X-Men

Quote of the Day

Courage, the “ministry” that Paul Scalia [son of U.S. Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia] was affiliated with, uses a 12-step program similar to Alcoholics Anonymous to encourage Catholics struggling with “same-sex attractions” to suppress their sexuality and live totally celibate lives. It’s essentially a Catholic version of the widely-discredited “ex-gay” programs, just wrapped in a more subtly-colored bow. . . .

– John Becker
"Scalia’s Son Was Chaplain
for Catholic Anti-Gay Group"
Back2Stonewall.com
December 13, 2012

Related Off-site Links:
Justice Antonin Scalia Defends Writings on Anti-Gay Laws – David G. Savage (Los Angeles Times, December 11, 2012).
Justice Antonin Scalia in Hot Water Again Over Homosexual Comments – Paul Campos (The Daily Beast, December 12, 2012).
Duncan Hosie, Princeton Student Who Challenged Antonin Scalia On 'Anti-Gay' Writings, Speaks Out – The Huffington Post (December 12, 2012).
NYC Politician Demands Justice Antonin Scalia Apologize For Anti-Gay Remarks – Meredith Bennett-Smith (The Huffington Post, December 12, 2012).

See also the previous Wild Reed posts:
• Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Courage
• When Quackery Goes Mainstream
• No Place for Dialogue in Archdiocesan Newspaper
• Far from "Innocuous"
• Debunking NARTH
• The Real Meaning of Courage
• The Many Forms of Courage (Part I)
• The Many Forms of Courage (Part 2)
• The Many Forms of Courage (Part 3)
• Beyond Courage
• Notes from the "Laughable but Tragic" World of Courage
• John Townsend Responds to His Critics
• John Harvey, Founder of the Courage Apostolate, 1918-2010
• Holding the Courage Apostolate Accountable
• The Cowardice of Courage

Soft Bigotry

NOTE: Updated Tuesday, September 20, 2011.

I've come across a number of well-written responses to what's been described as the "soft bigotry" of local Roman Catholic priest James Livingston's op-ed in yesterday's Star Tribune. It was written in response to a previous op-ed in the paper – one that I highlight here.

Livingston heads the local chapter of the Courage apostolate. That fact, along with the title of his op-ed ("Some People Can Make the Gay Go Away"), probably tells you all you need to know about his perspective on homosexuality and same-sex marriage. Still, for the truly horrendous details, you can go here. (But don't forget to come back and read the following responses – the first three and the last four of which are from the Star Tribune.)

_______________________

It is a cold comfort that Rev. James Livingston is "glad" for Ron Bates' acceptance of himself as a gay Christian, loved and created by God, seeing how he spends most of his commentary insinuating that Bates is an immoral weakling.

It may be that some find a balance between their conflicting sexual orientation and precept of religious chastity that Livingston espouses, but it has not been the case for members of Livingston's own Courage/Faith In Action group.

As Lavender Magazine's John Townsend showed through his investigative journalism outing the Lutheran anti-gay pastor Tom Brock last year, Courage/FIA is definitely not working for many.

But if we take that gladness and Livingston's statement that "traditional marriage" was an "imprudent start" for Bates at face value, then we cannot accept the conjecture that his form of marriage is part of some "universal moral law," as Livingston is then condoning a break from that law.

It is certainly part of a religious tradition of which Livingston, Bates, myself and many others are a part, but that tradition has changed many times throughout the years, away from subjugating women and justifying slavery, and most radically when Jesus came down to Earth to absolve sinners and affirm the primacy of love.

If, in a civil society, we can get past controlling the "sex" part of sexual orientation and marriage, then we can celebrate the love between rational, consenting adults, continue to act ethically and stop casting stones willy-nilly.

– Carl Atiya Swanson
Minneapolis

Livingston's commentary is an example of a problematic type of "soft bigotry" that many exhibit toward the LGBT community. Although he purports to show compassion to people with same-sex attraction, it is predicated on the assumption that such attraction is a dysfunction to be suppressed and corrected.

Many who oppose gay rights hide behind supposed religious truths and are unable to explain what actual harm homosexuality poses to society. It is not dissimilar to arguments used by those opposed to the civil-rights movement in the 1960s.

– Patrick Finnegan
Minneapolis

While everyone is entitled to their opinion, the Star Tribune does not have to publish every illogical, ill-conceived, bigoted and fact-free bit of insane drivel that comes its way, whether it's from a religious figure or not.

From its assertion that much same-sex attraction comes from "loneliness or lack of confidence" to its ridiculous claim that gay identity is being forced onto young people who are then imprisoned by it, Livingston's article is filled with nonsense with zero basis in reality.

If I wrote a piece describing how my magic beans cure cancer, the Star Tribune would refuse to print it, because I would have no evidence to back up my claims, and the presence of such a piece in a respected newspaper could, in fact, be dangerous, as cancer patients leave hospitals to try my beans.

Well, Star Tribune, allowing Livingston to make these false statements in your pages is similarly dangerous, and the blood of gay teen suicides and the victims of anti-gay attacks is now on your hands.

– Ben Smith
Minneapolis

The problem with Catholic [clerical] leaders like Livingston is that they are only concerned with their own beliefs about “spiritual” health, so they ignore and deny any research about what promotes psychological health if it compromises those beliefs. Contrary to his claims, nobody knows the exact roots of their own or anybody’s sexual orientation, but psychologists understand there to be a complex mix of genetic, hormonal, developmental, social, and cultural influences on sexual orientation. The medical community agrees that any attempt to deny or repress one’s sexual orientation can cause psychological harm, but it is exactly that harm that Livingston advocates through his ministry.

Perhaps that is why the last line of his article may be his most offensive: “Minnesota citizens, you can support traditional marriage and be a friend to persons with same-sex attractions.” Trying to convince someone to hate who they are so you don’t feel guilty about voting against their rights isn’t really what “friends” do.

– Zack Ford
"Minnesota Priest Advocates Ex-Gay Therapy,
Compares Homosexuality to Adultery, Crime, and Addiction"
Think Progress
September 12, 2011

Lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender people are not broken. We are not in need of repair.

In a recent op-ed, Rev. James Livingston argues that reparative therapy can be used to change peoples' sexual orientations and suggests that Minnesotans can "support traditional marriage and be a friend to persons with same-sex attractions."

In reality, many people of faith affirm the inherent human dignity of all people, including those with LGBT identities. They recognize that, instead of asking how we can change a child's identity, we should ask how we can change our world so children will be supported as they are and be free to make the best choices for their own lives as they become adults.

Every major medical and mental health organization in the country has condemned reparative therapy. Young people subjected to it are more likely to suffer depression, anxiety, and shame and to commit suicide. In short, reparative therapy can kill.

The phrase "reparative" implies a need to change. Those who advocate reparative therapy seem to believe that LGBT people are somehow dangerous, and until they are "fixed," LGBT people should be excluded from civil institutions like marriage.

Rev. Livingston is wrong: true friendship means valuing friends for who they are. We cannot call ourselves friends to LGBT people if we work to deny their love, erase their identities, and exclude them from marriage.

– Rebecca Waggoner
Anti-Violence Program Director, OutFront Minnesota
and
Rev. Oby Ballinger
OutFront Minnesota People of Faith Roundtable

In recent years, attacks against homosexuality have become less overt. People have learned that shouting vicious things and physically attacking people are no longer effective ways to win support for the anti-gay cause, so they mask their hate in seemingly innocent statements.

As both the Rev. James Livingston (in his Sept. 12 article) and Donna M. Ferber (in her letter to the editor on Sept. 15) have done. To quote Ferber, "one may support traditional marriage and still care about those with same-sex attraction."

What is frightening is how casually homosexuality is referred to as if it were some type of condition. As a gay man, I can assure you that it is not. I can also assure you that you cannot be for gay rights or care about gay people and be against gay marriage. That's not how it works.

Just because you don't use hateful words doesn't mean you are not a bigot. I'm sure there were a lot of people in the early 1960s who said things like, "It's not that I have anything against African-Americans, I just don't think they should be able to vote."

I think we can all agree that is a bigoted statement. If you think that homosexuals do not deserve a fundamental human right, you are a bigot, even if you think that you are not. Being polite about hate is still hate.

– Alec Barniskis
Minneapolis

I have been following the recent discussion in the paper about homosexual relationships with some interest, because of my fealty to the church, and was excited once Livingston weighed in. As I have been following the discourse, I have noticed a fundamental flaw.

The problem, as I see it, is that there really is not an argument happening here; rather, two groups of people are talking past each other and calling foul. In order for there to be any real discussion, there first must be some shared axioms and agreed-upon first principles, which I fear are not present and thus no real dialogue can commence.

Perhaps we should turn this debate to several more fundamental problems, including, but not exclusive to, what are our ethical foundations for our positions in this debate and what is our metaphysics (if any) to support these claims. Only once we have done this can a rational debate on this topic commence.

Now turning to support Livingston: We must look at his position in light of the rest of his moral claims. He cited, and justly so, that natural law is the foundation of Catholic morality.

Now, if you are going to critique him for his position, either do so on his own terms, testing for internal consistency, or argue against natural law. Neither has occurred in this forum in any concise and substantial manner. In regard to his consistency, his claims of chastity apply to all people and make no exemption.

– Michael Musielewicz
Minneapolis

[Michael Musielewicz] complain[s] that the exchange of opinions about an Opinion article written by the Rev. James Livingston lacks a common ethical foundation and "shared axioms."

The situation is really quite simple: The Catholic Church occupies a political position on marriage that is at variance with the concept of basic human rights.

Members of the church may support this position as expressed by the letter writer, but it is incumbent on the state to remain neutral so that followers of other faith traditions have the the same access to the legal rights associated with marriage as do Catholics, Lutherans and those in other well-known denominations.

"Equal rights" is a radical concept. It means that no matter whom you are or what your gender identity, sexual preference or religious faith may be, you can participate fully in public life. Nothing metaphysical about this.

Faith communities are free to set their own standards for members, including rules for marriage within their system of beliefs. Writing these rules into a secular document such as a state constitution is oppression.

– George Hutchinson
Minneapolis

[Michael Musielewicz] states that there has been no concise and substantial argument against what he and Livingston refer to as "natural law," which apparently militates against same-sex relationships in their minds. Setting aside whether or not such a thing as "natural law" exists, let's start with the assumption that it does exist, and on their terms.

The most relevant definitions of "natural" include "existing or formed by nature" (as opposed to artificial) and "based on the state of things in nature."

Unless I'm missing something, both heterosexual and homosexual relationships both have existed and have been the state of things in nature since our ancestors began recording history.

That homosexual relationships are not "normal" – as in "conforming to the standard or common type" – cannot be easily debated. But it seems obvious that "natural law" has by definition made room for both the homosexual and the heterosexual in our species.

And if it does so, on what basis is a minority denied the rights granted to the majority?

I understand that many heterosexual people are uncomfortable with homosexual behavior. But please recognize that this discomfort is based on a bias, albeit a culturally conditioned bias. But that does in no way make the bias "natural" nor justify the denial of rights.

– John F. Hetterick
Plymouth

See also the previous Wild Reed posts:
• When Quackery Goes Mainstream
• No Place for Dialogue in Archdiocesan Newspaper
• "Curing" Homosexuality
• What Scientists in the UK Are Saying About Homosexuality
• It's Official: APA Opposes "Reparative Therapy"
• The Dreaded "Same-Sex Attracted" View of Catholicism
• Be Not Afraid, You Can Be Happy and Gay
• Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Courage
• The Many Forms of Courage (Part I)
• The Many Forms of Courage (Part II)
• The Many Forms of Courage (Part III)
• The Real Meaning of Courage
• Celebrating Our Sanctifying Truth
• Beyond Courage
• Debunking NARTH (Part I)
• Debunking NARTH (Part II)
• The Many Manifestations of God's Loving Embrace

Quote of the Day

I don't for a moment believe that this document is inspired by any genuine pastoral concern. It is a holding operation, to please the Vatican, and is clearly not based on any open discussion with gays and lesbians, or any consultation with sources other than rightwing organizations such as Courage. The authors of the document have projected their own neuroses, and have shown no empathy, no understanding, no basic humanity, in their pronouncements.

– Joseph S. O'Leary
"Horrifying Document from
the Canadian Bishops"
July 2, 2011

See also the previous Wild Reed posts:
• Be Not Afraid: You Can Be Happy and Gay
• When "Guidelines" Lack Guidance
• The Bishops' Guidelines: A Catholic Parent's Response
• The "Ratzinger Letter" of 1986 as "Theological Pornography"
• Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Courage
• Notes from the "Laughable but Tragic" World of Courage
• Beyond Courage

"Fervently Catholic, Proudly Gay and Happily Married"

Writes Karen Doherty on her blog, Nihil Obstat:

I met one or two ex-Courage members at Dignity/New York meetings in the early 1980s. Like Dignity, Courage was 98% men. From talking to them briefly it seemed they tried to abstain from gay sex, but the continual messages they received, that homosexuals are immoral and sick, drove them away.

The Archdiocese of New York, under Terence Cardinal Cooke, issued “The Rights of Homosexuals vs. Parental Rights” on January 11, 1978. The gist of this document is . . . “Catholics maintain unequivocally that homosexual activity is immoral and patterns of life that encourage homosexuality are gravely wrong. Without encouraging unkindness towards homosexuals, the Catholic moral position strongly reinforces parents’ and their surrogates’ determination to keep all children in their formative years free of any persons or influences that could draw them into homosexual practice.”

The sentiments behind that statement are the reason Courage has failed to attract most homosexual Catholics: be ashamed of who you are. Your longing and desire is dirty, immoral, disgusting. Hide it, or risk being expelled from the community. Stay in the closet.

Dignity in comparison was like a rush of fresh air: God made you who you are, and loves you as you are. Little wonder gay and lesbian Catholics flocked to Dignity instead.

About two years ago, I received an email from a woman member of the Courage group meeting at St. John the Baptist Church on West 31st Street in New York. She encouraged me to give up my lifestyle and come to the group’s meetings. I can’t recall if I replied or not, but after another note or two she gave up trying to recruit me.

The experience recalled an admonishment my mother gave to me as a little girl: “People who feel bad about something they’ve done want other people to do the same thing so they don’t feel alone and feel better about it.” Although that bit of wisdom was intended to deter me from mischief, it came to mind reading the insistent note from the lady Courage member.

. . . I am fervently Catholic, proudly gay and happily married . . . to a wonderful woman. I stopped struggling to be straight many years ago when I came out. And I believe, with my whole heart, God made me who I am. I was not created to suffer through involuntary chastity. Nor was I made to label and think of myself as “disordered.”

– Karen Doherty
“God Made”
Nihil Obstat
February 12, 2011

See also the previous Wild Reed posts:
• LGBT Catholics Celebrate Being "Wonderfully Made"
• Notes from the "Laughable but Tragic" World of Courage
• John Townsend Responds to His Critics
• Quote of the Day – January 22, 2011
• John Harvey, Founder of the Courage Apostolate, 1918-2010
• Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Courage
• Gay Catholics, the Courage Apostolate and Reparative Therapy
• Beyond Courage
• The Many Forms of Courage (Part I)
• The Many Forms of Courage (Part II)
• The Many Forms of Courage (Part III)
• The Many Manifestations of God's Loving Embrace
• Celebrating Our Sanctifying Truth
• Catholic Attitudes on Gay and Lesbian Issues: An Overview

Recommended Off-site Links:
• DignityUSA
• Fortunate Families
• New Ways Ministry
• Catholics for Equality
• Catholics for Marriage Equality MN
• The Catholic Pastoral Committee on Sexual Minorities
• Catholic Rainbow Parents

Quote of the Day

I'm still trying to figure out what in the world [the Colorado Springs Diocese's 12-step program for homosexuals] is attempting to accomplish. If it's to help a person modify abusive exploitative sexuality, a twelve step program for that already exists – and it works with either gays or straights. I suspect this program at core is not about addictive abusive sexuality. It's about reinforcing 'correct Catholic thinking' about gay sexuality. I also suspect it's sort of aimed at seminary types who could probably get a seal of approval if they participate in this program.

There is also no compelling reason not to start a group for straight single men, and that might actually help accomplish a reduction in abortion and unwed motherhood. So I'm wondering why there is no group for straight single men. The amount of destruction left behind by irresponsible ego driven straight single men is legendary and it already gone through a number of scandals involving the rape of female cadets. Date rape is exploding on all our college campuses and that's not happening because of gay men. Virtually every college and university fraternity could support such a twelve step group. The Church could also start a group in the inner city where marriage before sex is about as likely as caviar with dinner.

I really want to know why straight single men are always left out of all the sexual discussions? Is it because the Church actually has no courage when it comes to dealing with straight men and the repercussions of irresponsible straight sex? That would be my guess. It doesn't take courage to focus on the supposed flaws of a sub group already thoroughly conditioned to accept such a focus. This is just more abusive marginalization dressed up as a pastoral initiative. It's also an abuse of the Twelve Step therapeutic approach which is targeted at addictive behavior, not romantic attachment. And maybe that's what's bugging me. The Church seems incapable of seeing homosexuality in terms of romantic attachment just as it's seemingly incapable of seeing aspects of single male heterosexual activity in terms of an exploitative and outright selfish "lifestyle."

– Colleen Kochivar-Baker
"About That Twelve Step Program For Gay Men
– Where's The Courage In That?"
Enlightened Catholicism
January 22, 2011

See also the previous Wild Reed posts:
• Notes from the "Laughable but Tragic" World of Courage
• John Townsend Responds to His Critics
• Beyond Courage
• Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Courage
• John Harvey, Founder of the Courage Apostolate, 1918-2010
• Holding the Courage Apostolate Accountable
• The Cowardice of Courage
• The Many Forms of Courage
• What is a "Lifestyle"?
• The Gifts of Homosexuality
• Celebrating Our Sanctifying Truth
• The Many Manifestations of God's Loving Embrace
• Sons of the Church: The Witnessing of Gay Catholic Men – A Discussion Guide
• A Catholic Bibliography on Gay Issues

John Harvey, Founder of the Courage Apostolate, 1918-2010

.

Father John Harvey was a man whose
"intents were compassionate and who sought neither
political power, prestige, or personal advancement
through his ex-gay endeavors," writes Timothy Kincaid.

I appreciate the following reflection by Timothy Kincaid on the life and legacy of Catholic priest John Harvey, founder of the Courage apostolate. Harvey died December 27, aged 92.

______________________

I have a certain amount of sympathy for those individuals who decide that their religious convictions preclude them from engaging in any form of sexuality that is not within the confines of heterosexual marriage. Each of us must be allowed the space to determine for ourselves what gives us meaning and happiness, and some may choose to prioritize their spirituality over their sexuality.

So I am not opposed to ex-gay individuals or groups, per se, provided that they do not insist that others live according to their values, advocate for discrimination, or propagate lies. Sadly, most ex-gay groups have difficulty with strict honesty – probably because many of them are operating from a realm of “faith” in which empirical evidence can be ignored and hope can be given the imprimatur of TRUTH. But there are a few ex-gay groups that have managed to avoid overt political advocacy and who place less emphasis on miraculous reorientation and instead provide support and community for their same-sex attracted adherents.

One such group is Courage, the Catholic ex-gay organization.

While the Vatican and the bishops have taken it upon themselves to use coercion, threat of eternal damnation, and machine politics to try and force the nations of the world to adopt their dogma on issues like gay marriage, Courage has been mostly apolitical. And while they do not discourage those who hope for eventual heterosexuality, their emphasis is on chastity as a life goal. Courage has given me very little about which to object.

In 1980, New York’s Archbishop Cooke invited Father John Harvey to develop a ministry to Catholics with same-sex attractions. And while I disagree with much that Harvey espoused over the years, I do think that he was a man whose intents were compassionate and who sought neither political power, prestige, or personal advancement through his ex-gay endeavors.

This week Father John Harvey died. (PilotCatholicNews)

Oblate Father John F. Harvey, who founded an organization for celibate Catholic homosexuals that now has more than 100 chapters worldwide, died Dec. 27 at Union Hospital in Elkton. He was 92.

His funeral Mass was scheduled for Dec. 31 at St. Anthony of Padua Church in Wilmington, Del., followed by interment in the Oblate Cemetery in Elkton.

An Oblate of St. Francis de Sales for 73 years, Father Harvey founded Courage, a spiritual support group for homosexual men and women, in 1980 at the request of Cardinal Terence Cooke of New York and served as its national director until his death.

Today, Courage has chapters in the United States, Canada, England, Ireland, Poland, Mexico, Slovakia, Singapore, Hong Kong, Australia, Philippines and New Zealand.

“Father Harvey’s commitment to pastoral care in the church was tireless,” said Oblate Father James J. Greenfield, provincial of the Oblates’ Wilmington-Philadelphia province, in a statement. “Even in his later years, his travel would take him all over the country and world to offer a voice of compassion.”

I hope some day that the Catholic Church will find a path to full acceptance and equality for gay and lesbian Catholics (perhaps when they finally accept women as equal). But I do appreciate that in recent decades the Church has made the distinction between “inclination” and behavior (though the current Pope seems to conflate the two) as a small step in the right direction and I believe that Harvey may have played some role in that move.

– Timothy Kincaid
Box Turtle Bulletin
December 30, 2010

See also the previous Wild Reed posts:
Beyond Courage
Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Courage
Notes from the "Laughable but Tragic" World of Courage
John Townsend Responds to His Critics
Holding the Courage Apostolate Accountable
The Cowardice of Courage
The Many Forms of Courage (Part I)
The Many Forms of Courage (Part II)
The Many Forms of Courage (part 3)
The Real Meaning of Courage
Debunking NARTH (Part I)
Debunking NARTH (Part II)

Image: Oblates of St. Francis de Sales.

John Townsend Responds to His Critics

City Pages has printed a letter by Lavender magazine's John Townsend in which he takes to task those who have been critical of his infiltration of the local Courage chapter and his outing of Rev. Tom Brock, a Lutheran pastor who attends the Roman Catholic "pro-chastity group" and is well known for his homo-negative opinions.

Notes City Pages' Kevin Hoffman: “Townsend's article drew national attention and became the focus of an ethics debate about reporting undercover at a meeting where anonymity is expected. But Townsend says his methods were necessary because the mainstream media was looking the other way.”

Following is Townsend's letter in its entirety.

______________________________

Two recent Star Tribune articles (“Cries of ‘Hypocrite’ for Pastor, Magazine” by Jeff Strickler, June 24 and “Respect the Range of Sexual Support” by Jenell Williams Paris, June 25), have distorted my infiltration of a local Catholic gay chastity group by reacting to only one of my two actual cover articles in Lavender Magazine, Issue 393. The writers read the piece on my observations of Lutheran pastor Tom Brock in that group in my article, “Anti-gay Lutheran Pastor Protests Too Much,” but did not address the other article, “Courage, AKA Faith in Action: An Inside Look at Catholic Gay Chastity Group” that is on the very next page labeled as ‘Cover Feature’ and online directly below the cover image.

That article is filled with other observations including a stunningly cruel comment by Father Jim Livingston, who runs Faith in Action and inducts members through his chaplain’s office at North Memorial Hospital. What racial minority would ever sanction what I observed and heard in that group if the same was said about them?

That article also fingers two priests and a woman director for the Archdiocese of Minneapolis and St. Paul. Strickler’s cherrypicking of one article over the other has meant Lavender’s total Courage coverage has been distorted all the way up to Elizabeth Jensen’s New York Times online piece, as well as a rabid written attack on my integrity by an angry pack of pastors. Strickler and Paris never contacted me for a comment before submitting their articles. I did however, contact Father Livingston and Pastor Brock for mine.

Get this straight. Homosexuality and lesbianism are not addictions, nor are they illnesses. Faith In Action participants are required to refer to their same sex attraction as a ‘disorder.’ They are made to believe that unrepentant homosexual activity damns them to an eternity of hell fire and damnation. The 1973 declassification of homosexuality as a mental illness is fully rejected. Strickler mistakenly describes the group as a ‘therapy group.’ In the weeks I was there I encountered no therapist.

Faith in Action, whose Catholic sponsors are tax-exempt, harbored pastor Brock for some time, in full knowledge of his demagogic video series and the two decades he spewed his homophobic and sexist vitriol on KKMS AM, which has been defiantly rebroadcasting his anti-gay remarks right up even into this very week, almost two weeks after my articles hit.

Brock’s bully pulpit has assaulted gays and lesbians and heterosexual reproductive rights advocates for years. For some time, I had been fielding tips about psychological abuse in the St. Charles Borromeo group, including a participant who said he felt tempted to commit suicide. One victim took his complaint to various local media and was summarily rejected each time. So for me, it was clear that becoming an embedded whistleblower was the only option left. That way I could more accurately verify the truth than to write about it from the outside. To my mind, quite reasonable suspicion of real danger trumped confidentiality.

Brock’s anti-gay KKMS exhortations have wailed on for years, so I was puzzled in Strickler’s piece where University of Minnesota Silha Professor of Ethics and Law Jane Kirtley tried to discredit my methods, seemingly oblivious to the serial, long term breach of media ethics in her own metro area, that being KKMS. Kirtley never contacted me either.

As for handwringing by Michael R. Triplett, overseer of the National Gay & Lesbian Journalists Association, of which I am not a member, clearly his careerist club members have ignored this situation. Be a journalist first, a gay second.

In “Respect the Range of Sexual Support,” evangelical Messiah College professor Jenell Williams Paris speculates that Pastor Brock “may have actually been practicing for the search of self-mastery he preached” in the Courage sessions I attended right alongside him. But I think not. As my Courage article relates, this group actually inculcates, hence, reinforces, a sexual fixation on male beauty with outright stated political positions against gay activism and gay-based spiritual endeavours. Paris peddles with chilling nonchalance so-called ‘reparative therapies’ (again, Courage is not a therapy group). Her crude analogy of Brock as a cat that stinks boorishly trivializes how Brock, a man in society, has systematically perpetrated his hysterics for years.

Recently, as MSNBC’s Rachel Maddow has reported, American evangelicals, some of them so called ‘ex-gays’, paved the way for a Ugandan law to make homosexuality punishable by death. Recently, the Texas GOP platform has called for recriminalization of sodomy laws and making gay marriage a felony.

As for those who would use my articles as a pretext to slam investigative reporting, I suggest Amy Goodman’s recent John Pilger interview on that subject. Recall Thomas Jefferson: “The only security at all is a free press. The force of public opinion cannot be resisted when permitted freely to be expressed. The agitation it produces must be submitted to. It is necessary, to keep the waters pure.”

– John Townsend

Recommended Off-site Link:
John Townsend Blasts Star Tribune on Outing Articles - Kevin Hoffman (City Pages, July 1, 2010).

See also the previous Wild Reed post:
• Notes from the “Laughable But Tragic” World of Courage
• Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Courage
• Gay Catholics, the Courage Apostolate, and “Reparative Therapy”
• The Real Meaning of Courage
• The Many Forms of Courage (Part I)
• The Many Forms of Courage (Part II)
• The Many Forms of Courage (Part III)
• Beyond Courage
• Holding the Courage Apostolate Accountable
• The Cowardice of Courage
• When Quackery Goes Mainstream
• Debunking NARTH (Part I)
• Debunking NARTH (Part II)
• The Many Manifestations of God’s Loving Embrace

Notes from the “Laughable but Tragic” World of Courage

An exposé of the Courage apostolate has been published in the latest issue of the Minneapolis-based Lavender magazine. It’s written by John Townsend, who infiltrated the local chapter of the highly secretive “pro-chastity ministry” and attended several of its meetings.

Townsend’s resulting “inside look” at Courage (known as “Faith in Action” in the Archdiocese of St. Paul/Minneapolis) offers an informed and insightful analysis of this shame-based “ministry,” offered as the only officially sanctioned support group by the Roman Catholic Church to its gay members.

Townsend’s exposé is reprinted in its entirety below with added links.

____________________

Courage, AKA Faith in Action:
An Inside Look at Catholic Gay Chastity Group

By John Townsend

Lavender Magazine
Volume 16, Issue 392
June 18, 2010

The change in public attitudes had a profound and lasting impact on European institutions and culture as a result of the permanent and official expression it achieved in thirteenth-century laws, literature, and theology, all of which continued to influence Western thought and social patterns long after the disappearance of the particular circumstances which produced them.

– John Boswell,
Christianity, Social Tolerance, and Homosexuality

We’ve heard of righteous enterprises seeking to turn gay people straight through so-called conversion therapies that don’t work. Exodus Global Alliance, recently scandalized by its brutal Ugandan contacts, comes to mind, or methods to “turn gays straight” revealed so hilariously in the mockumentary Brüno.

However, the ministry known as Courage would appear to offer a more rational, humane approach. Tailored specifically to support persons with same-sex attraction, it is pontifically approved. As a Catholic organization, Courage supposedly loves the sinner, but not the sin.

Instead of “conversion therapy,” Courage’s first goal is to have participants live chaste lives in accordance with the Roman Catholic Church’s teachings on homosexuality. “Chaste” is the preferred term over “abstinence.”

Support sessions, as Courage’s third goal states, “foster a spirit of fellowship in which we may share with one another our thoughts and experiences, and so ensure that none of us have to face the problem of sexuality alone.”

The Courage participants I was associated with referred to this so-called problem as a “disorder” and a “gender disorder,” even though the American Psychiatric Association declassified homosexuality as a mental illness in 1973. To further reinforce this misconception, Courage directly borrows from the “Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous” in “The Twelve Steps of Courage.”

The word “gay” automatically is deflected, because it’s considered “a sociopolitical term.” Hence, any deeper discussion of gay folk beyond their sexual urges is ruled out. That deep love between men occurs and can bring social stability is shut out.

One man at a Courage session I attended said, “Gay men are not able to love other gay men. It’s just about sex.” That was the group’s standard view.


Toxic Myths and Messaging

Doug Jensen, a Twin Cities-based Clinical Social Worker, explains, “One of the core reasons why people stay closeted and internalize that same-sex attraction is negative comes from religious-based messages. Even political campaigns fall into this. It’s always based on religion, and that God thinks it’s wrong. There’s fear of repercussions—familially, socially, and occupationally. Messages are repeated and repeated and repeated from the day we are born that the only healthy role model is the healthy straight relationship. There are not nearly enough healthy role models for gay men, and I don’t think Will & Grace is a healthy role model. It’s very hard for anyone to challenge these pervasive and chronic messages, and there are layers and layers and layers in media, church, and family that transmit this.”


I Become “Courageous”

I was admitted into Courage, whose local chapter is known in Minnesota as Faith in Action (FIA), after contacting Kathy Laird, Director of the Office of Family, Laity, and Youth for the Archdiocese of Minneapolis and St. Paul. I was put in touch with Father Jim Livingston at his North Memorial Hospital Chaplain’s Office in the suburb of Robbinsdale northwest of Minneapolis, where he interviewed me for 45 minutes.

Livingston seems an odd choice to advance homosexual abstinence. Middle-aged but well-preserved, he’s handsome and athletically built, stands more than six feet tall, and wears glasses without looking nerdy. He has a knack of making you feel like you’re all that matters.

Using an alias, I feigned a blue-collar identity as a man whose breakup with his girlfriend had surfaced unexpected attractions to men, making me worry that these feelings would lead toward my ruin.

Livingston sympathized, stating that my situation was not uncommon – and on that count, he was right. He stressed that FIA is not a program to turn gay men straight, but a space where, as the Courage Apostolate asserts, I might “experience the freedom of interior chastity.”

A few weeks later, I went to St. Charles Borromeo Church in St. Anthony, a suburb northeast of Minneapolis. I was met by Father Paul A. Fontaine, who buzzed me in to a sequestered area for FIA’s weekly two-hour rap session. Herein, closeted men share their success, or lack thereof, in their struggle to abstain from not only homosexual contact, but also homoerotic feelings that may lead to masturbation, since the last week or their last attendance. FIA or Courage are not listed on St. Charles’s website.

A different priest facilitates each week. La Fontaine, Pastor of St. Charles, is a middle-aged man who seems a bit world-weary. Father Jim Liekhus, from St. John the Evangelist Catholic Church in suburban Hopkins, looks to be around age 30, and has an intense edge. Livingston, charismatic and comfortably low-key, is the most effective facilitator, who can sting with Biblical admonition, and then turn appealingly soft-spoken.


Bourne Is Not Porn

Two generational polarities seemed to define the FIA group, though all ages consciously, deliberately were on guard against that which would tempt them to homoerotic lust. Imagine a coffee klatch of matrons fretting about unbidden erotic feelings.

One man, who shared that he had watched a DVD of Matthew Bourne’s choreography, called it “pornography.” Then again, much is deemed pornographic by the group. Having interviewed Bourne, I stifled a laugh. His crossgender Swan Lake, an unprecedented global hit, supremely blended athleticism with grace. His family appeal is solid, with a dance version of Edward Scissorhands and his Broadway triumph, Mary Poppins.


Stigmatizing Physical Male Beauty

The group’s reflexive tendency is to label any image of an attractively contoured, athletic man ipso facto pornography.

One participant, quite fit, no longer goes to the gym because of other in-shape, naked, and tempting manly bodies to be seen there. He noted, “I have all my workout equipment at home now.” He had been attending FIA for years, yet it seemed that even though he had gotten everything else in his life in order – finances, good health, satisfying job, and social networks – he never could drive away his desires.

This man described it metaphorically: “I spend a lot of time shifting my focus onto green plants, rather than the elephant. The elephant is my disorder. Looking at the plants keeps my mind off the elephant.”

The fellow shared this struggle that just wouldn’t go away a few times, one of them being when Hope Lutheran Church Associate Pastor Tom Brock was a fellow participant. Brock himself made a point of saying that the man’s description of his struggle with abstinence dovetailed with what he, too, was going through.


Old Wives’ Tales of Aging Closeted Gay Men

Another man, a fair bit older, brought up the “what if” trap. He wondered out loud, “What if I had let that guy buy me a drink?” — 25 years ago. He thought he then might have turned to a life of sin. Regret masquerading as character?

This same person also carried a grandiose sense of guilt over a friend he had sex with decades ago who moved to San Francisco with his wife, contracted AIDS, and died. As if cautioning the others, he lamented, “If only I hadn’t had sex with him, maybe he’d still be alive today.”


Trans Does Not Equal Gay

That man also warned of someone who “spent a lot of money on porn and women’s clothes. It got to the point where he would have to travel all over just to hide it, so that nobody in town would know. It was destroying him financially.” The participant generalized that because the man crossdresses, he’s gay. But that’s not necessarily true. Straight men can and do crossdress, while countless gay and bisexual men have no interest at all in crossdressing.


The Illusion of Balance

On the other hand, talk about honorable aspects of gay politics was allowed, as long as it didn’t dominate discussion, and it did happen a few times.

A younger man who made the common group complaint of abject loneliness related that he had broken down, and gone to a barbecue hosted by gay friends. He thought they were courageous for facing discrimination, and being out in a homosexual-hostile world.

Two men expressed a fairly principled difference of opinion about the right of long-term gay partners and hospital-visitation rights in cases of serious and terminal illness. This issue recently took the form of Governor Tim Pawlenty’s veto of the Final Wishes Bill. One of the two is a senior citizen, and FIA is a social event he looks forward to weekly.


Heterosexual Primacy Versus Homosexual Demonization

However, these seemingly fair and balanced moments were ephemeral. Occasionally, childhood traumas surfaced.

One man observed with visceral anguish, “When my Dad found out, he said he hoped I wouldn’t molest kids.” That his father’s comment was brutal and unfair was acknowledged. But in FIA’s eyes, it’s to be expected and accepted as a cross to bear – because, after all, the son is “disordered.” No discussion took place about the father’s ignorance – where he might have gotten such destructive ideas, or where does one draw the line regarding the Commandment “Thou shalt not commit adultery.”

A very troubled man in his 20s – who had utter contempt for pro-gay activism – literally seethed with anxiety about social pressures he felt were out there in the world that wanted him to go the way of homosexuality — hence, away from salvation. He had visited various priestly orders on a quest for his life’s purpose. Although he clearly and naturally presented as straight and masculine, he was hyperconscious that others “would know.” It gnawed at him.

The younger men in the group utterly were tyrannized that they don’t have nuclear families, and make less money than other siblings. They severely were hooked into obvious patterns of sibling rivalry – comparison and competitiveness – that any therapist immediately would have honed in on. But no need to reckon with that in FIA’s eyes. Just stay “chaste.”


It’s the Media’s Fault! It’s the Culture!

Participants often groused about “the culture” – code for the endless train of signals in the media and outside world that make them think of hot men.

During the only time I heard the Catholic priest pedophile scandals mentioned, it was Catholicism that was being persecuted, not the kids. One middle-aged man insisted with great indignation that he was “sick of everyone trying to destroy my church!” The University of St. Catherine, St. Joan of Arc Church in Minneapolis, and President Barack Obama, along with a man who had defected from the group and started a pro-gay self-esteem website, were referred to with sarcastic derision.

Livingston told me at my interview that some men in the group ended up just “throwing away their computer” because of the cultural temptation it offered.

Participants felt computers were Satan’s playthings, because they led to Internet gay porn and man-to-man hookups. But even channel-surfing on television was treacherous, because one always would encounter images to trigger homoerotic desire. So, technology is Satan’s enabler. That the onus is on us to control technology, rather than letting it control us, is not considered.


Time Warp

Jensen’s view applies to the FIA group I attended, which definitely was layered in negative messaging about same sex attraction. In a metro area as multifaceted and multicultural as the Twin Cities, it seemed so odd that a group of men – mostly over 40, with college degrees – was so sheltered from information about the outside world.

These men were steeped in paranoid stereotypes of gayness reminiscent of the late 1940s — a Mattachine Society in reverse. Instead of a secret inquiry into the roots of gay oppression because homosexuality was unmentionable, the Courage group was a secretly convened reinforcement of that oppression in our comparably far more liberal time.

Bisexuality never was spoken of. Crossdressing sweepingly and wrongly was assumed to be a homosexual behavior.

Everyone in the group but one could pass as Caucasian. The only man of color who occasionally showed up complained that at past meetings, he had not been understood fully.

But then, Courage pelvis-gazes in a time warp. It was formed in 1980 under the aegis of Terence Cardinal Cooke, Archbishop of New York, with Father John Harvey as Founding Director. That was soon after Anita Bryant’s anti-gay campaign galvanized social conservatives, setting the tone for an anti-gay backlash exacerbated shortly thereafter when the AIDS crisis hit.

All that was a generation ago. Waves of new information and analysis since have influenced both GLBT consciousness and the hetero mainstream.

Nowadays, reasonable conservatives respect lavender thinkers such as Andrew Sullivan and Camille Paglia, both Catholics, and Bruce Bawer, with Catholicism in his background. But they’re of no interest to Courage, which is oblivious to straight allies being commonplace now. Even revered conservative columnist David Brooks of The New York Times at Minneapolis’s Westminster Town Hall Forum called same-sex marriage a conservatizing force.

Courage has erased GLBT historical heroes. No mention of Baron Friedrich Wilhelm von Steuben, crucial in George Washington’s modernization of the Continental Army; Nobel Laureate Jane Addams of Hull House fame; pioneering sexologist Magnus Hirschfeld, exiled from Nazi Germany; or Charlotte von Mahlsdorf, subversively anti-Communist museum founder.


Religion Versus Science

In the anti-Copernican spirit felt even today in the anti-science Culture Wars, Courage does not believe that homosexuality is biologically determined. It cleaves to a belief that sexual orientation is disordered, and can be changed. However, most of the men in my Courage group long had been flummoxed and tormented about why after all the years they’d been attending meetings, they had not changed, but still had to fight off desires for men, homoerotic fantasy, and masturbation spurred by such fantasy. The group has a stated fear of ministries that see gays as having special gifts from God. Courage members attend Mass often, typically at more conservative parishes.

Chaste friendships are extolled as necessary in celibate Christian life, propagating the archaic myth that gay men are unable to have platonic relationships with other gay men, or that they constantly must be submerging nymphomanical passions toward straight men.

Those who see sexual suppression as noble, or a necessary evil, may think Courage’s abstinence position sounds healthy or “mature” – after all, promiscuity indeed can lead to self-destruction if not seriously tempered.

But Courage is a Lewis Carroll world where preoccupation with sexual abstinence paradoxically becomes a kind of sexual fixation. And, of course, who gets to define promiscuity?


Laughable But Tragic

If you chuckled over some of my observations as an FIA participant, that’s healthy. Overreaction to sexual issues certainly can be humorous. But remember that this is an essentially tragic situation, so check your wrath and scorn.

These men, drenched in all their unexamined notions, are chained in palpable fear of loss of public face and eternal damnation should they ever acknowledge their natural impulses even in their most singular private moments – much less act upon them. After each session, participants can go to confession down the hall with the facilitating priest.

The priests deserve some pity. They don’t know themselves. They supposedly always have held to celibacy, so the expansive nature of sexual awakening healthily channeled is shut off to them – arrested development. To read a variety of sexual literature and sexology rather than the draconian treatises on sex’s supposedly sinful nature or “unnaturalness” would subvert the blind, unquestioning obedience that the authoritarian realm of the Catholic hierarchy commands. In essence, these priests and their adherents have been emasculated.

Hunger and sex are two basic human drives. When they are satiated to excess, serious problems indeed do arise. When hunger is not addressed, we starve. When sex is not addressed, we unconsciously short-circuit that energy toward inappropriate and/or self-destructive behaviors.

Courage does not speak for all Catholics. Religions, by and large, can be interpreted toxically or splendidly. A wonderful thing about Catholicism, as well as Lutheranism, is that within their ranks is a willingness to look at their own warts – something any number of other Christian denominations and other faiths do not do. Both denominations were thought by some to have dropped the ball in the 1930s and 1940s. Thus, it’s natural that in the following decades, so many Catholics and Lutherans have returned to Jesus’ beautiful, loving teachings, and championed human rights and the virtue of compassion.

While attending FIA, I made a point of watching two wondrous classic films that wrestle with Catholic theology. Federico Fellini’s Juliet of the Spirits wisely cautions that religious concepts misapplied can hardwire psychic damage in females. Franco Zeferelli’s Brother Sun, Sister Moon rescues Catholicism, reminding us how utterly colossal was the love of St. Francis of Assisi for all of God’s creation.

As long as members of any religion keep mean-spiritedness at bay, and incorporate new information in a changing world, they can be much-needed forces for human betterment and stewardship of the earth. With that frame of mind, timeless values put forth by religion can be revivified instead of being stuck obstinately in the 13th Century.

Jensen remarks, “People need to stop blaming God, and own their own insecurities and fears.”

Melik Kaylan warns from a Muslim perspective: “Arabian fundamentalists concluded that if post-medieval progress in the world made their values unworkable, then it was the world’s fault, and the world should be stopped in its tracks.”

One can argue that the same applies to certain – though far from all – interpretations of Christianity. Let’s hope the generation of moderate and progressive Catholics – and lots of them are out there – will stop the new Flat Earthers in their tracks.

As for those struggling with coming to terms with sexual orientation at variance to strict heterosexuality, non-judgmental, confidential therapists and counselors can provide individual help at whatever point of openness or closetedness one is at. It’s all about letting go of shame.

– John Townsend
Lavender Magazine
Jume 18, 2010

NEXT: John Townsend Responds to His Critics

See also the previous Wild Reed posts:
• Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Courage
• Gay Catholics, the Courage Apostolate, and “Reparative Therapy”
• The Real Meaning of Courage
• The Many Forms of Courage (Part I)
• The Many Forms of Courage (Part II)
• The Many Forms of Courage (Part III)
• Beyond Courage
• Holding the Courage Apostolate Accountable
• The Cowardice of Courage
• When Quackery Goes Mainstream
• Debunking NARTH (Part I)
• Debunking NARTH (Part II)
• The Many Manifestations of God’s Loving Embrace

Image: “Shame” by Paul Bradley.

Quote of the Day

As a survivor of the Catholic church’s ex-gay ministry, “Courage,” here in Minneapolis/St. Paul, [I can say that] this article is well-written and painstakingly correct. Pedophilia is a sexually violent act and has nothing to do with anyone’s sexual orientation. The Catholic church needs to focus on the apparently unhealthy issues among its own clergy rather than attempt to keep lesbian and gay people from pursuing loving committed relationships through marriage equality.

- A comment by “plowejr423”
in response to Andy Birkey’s article,
“Amid Moral Scandal, Catholic Church Focuses on Gays”

See also the previous Wild Reed post:
Andy Birkey on the Church’s “Blame the Gays” Fixation
Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Courage

Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Courage

.

. . . the Courage apostolate, that is.

This past Tuesday evening, approximately 50 people gathered at St. Martin’s Table Restaurant and Bookstore in Minneapolis for an educational forum hosted by the Catholic Pastoral Committee on Sexual Minorities (CPCSM) and entitled “Holding the Courage Apostolate Accountable: The Catholic Church, Homosexuality, and Reparative Therapy.”

As many Wild Reed readers would know, this event and the issues it focused upon were the subject of a (rather inadequate) piece in Tuesday’s Star Tribune. (To read this article, along with my corrections and clarifications, click here.)

I should also say that I’ve spoken to Jeff Strickler, the author of this particular article, and he has assured me that a correction will be published in Saturday’s edition of the Star Tribune. This correction will focus on the article’s quoting of me as saying that Retired Archbishop Harry Flynn had “came to us” (i.e., CPCSM) in the late-1990s and asked the organization to “serve as resource people for the church.” What I actually said was that in the mid-1990s the Archdiocese, meaning the Archdiocesan office known as Catholic Education and Formation Ministries (CEFM) had approached CPCSM, an independent, grassroots coalition, and requested that it share its experience and expertise in ministry with LGBT people.”


Why we gathered

So with that matter cleared up, I’d like to share a little about Tuesday night’s event, starting with why exactly CPCSM felt compelled to host this forum in the first place.

It’s important to know that almost 30 years ago Archbishop John Roach called for “competent and compassionate pastoral ministry” for LGBT persons and their families within the Archdiocese of St. Paul-Minneapolis (Catholic Bulletin, September 21, 1991). This ministry was subsequently built and maintained through the dedicated and tireless efforts of CPCSM leaders in cooperation with parishes and schools of the Archdiocese. Sadly, under subsequent archbishops we’ve witnessed such ministry efforts undermined and usurped by rigid doctrinal fundamentalism and pseudo-science discredited by all mainstream professional mental health and medical associations.

Over the past six years the Archdiocese has adopted and advocated the Courage Apostolate of the Catholic Church as the only pastoral program that it recommends for Catholic gay men and lesbians (whom Courage prefers to label with the pseudo-scientific term of [men and women who have] “same-sex attractions”). (See Rev. Jim Livingston’s letter of 2-2-09 to all priests and deacons of the local Archdiocese.)

Recently, the American Psychological Association repudiated “reparative therapy,” i.e., attempts to change a person’s sexual orientation through therapy and prayer. Yet the Courage Apostolate, which employs a 12 step-like program to help their members “recover” from “same-sex attractions,” continues to support individuals who seek “reparative therapy.” Courage also maintains links on its national website to pseudo-scientific organizations that endorse and/or offer reparative therapy.

At our November 17 forum at St. Martin’s Table, we heard from two speakers who shared their perspectives on this situation and offered steps that can be taken to hold the Courage Apostolate accountable – both locally and nationally –for its support of reparative therapy.

The evening started with a delicious soup supper provided by the good folks at St. Martin’s Table. Although CPCSM has utilized the space at St. Martin’s Table many times in the past (see, for example, here), this was the first time we worked with the restaurant component of the establishment and served a meal. We’ll definitely be doing it again!

Our actual program got underway at 6:30 with my welcoming and introduction of our two speakers – Philip Lowe, Jr., and Dr. Simon Rosser, Ph.D.

Above (from left): CPCSM executive coordinator Michael Bayly;
Philip Lowe. Jr.; Dr. Simon Rosser; & CPCSM co-founder David McCaffrey.

A survivor’s story

Philip shared his experiences within the local chapter of Courage (known as Faith in Action in the Archdiocese of St. Paul-Minneapolis). Philip refers to Courage as “the ex-gay ministry of the Roman Catholic church,” and considers himself a “survivor” of this ministry. He was a member of the apostolate for 15 months before leaving it last year.

He noted that a typical Courage meeting takes place on a Friday night, at an undisclosed location known only to Courage members. One or two priests facilitate the meeting, which begin with a prayer followed by the reading of the five goals of Courage. Then the facilitator asks, “How has Courage helped you during this past week?”, and each person takes turns talking about their struggles with chastity. Those who attend Courage are told that to be a good Catholic they must “carry the cross” of their same-sex attractions and do everything possible to avoid romantic or sexual contact with members of the same sex.

“At Courage meetings we were told to avoid any places of temptation that might exist,” said Philip. Such places include malls, parks, bars, athletic centers or “any where that might be a problem for us.” Courage members are also urged to avoid any and all levels of “inappropriate intimacy” that could lead us to any kind of sexual or romantic intimacy with the same sex. “Disinterested friendships” with people of the same sex, however, are supported.

Much of what Philip shared on Tuesday night has been documented in a powerful testimony he recently wrote for Beyond Ex-Gay, an “online community for those who have survived ex-gay experiences.” Following are some excerpts from Philip’s testimony.

During my time in Courage my attitudes towards myself, my family and others became very bad. The more I avoided intimacy, the more I hungered for intimacy. . . . I was hungering to be loved, but not allowing myself to experience love. I eventually started working with an ex-gay therapist and even a spiritual director. In both cases, the more I attempted to flee being gay, the more being gay smacked me in the face. When meeting with my therapist and/or spiritual director, I would be told that either it was because of all the rejection I had experienced or because I did not know how to manage intimacy with others appropriately.

. . . At my last Courage meeting one of the guys there made the remark that he was beginning to become discouraged by the fact that because he was a man who had same-sex attraction and was probably not going to overcome it any time soon, that he would never get married or have children.

There is a closeted Lutheran minister who attended Courage meetings to help him deal with his homosexuality. During the meeting that minister made a comment to the man who had [shared] the concern about never being able to marry or have children because of his sexual orientation. [The Lutheran minister told] him that there are lots of gay men who are in heterosexual marriages and that he saw nothing wrong with him wanting to get married to a woman and have children, even though he is gay. That comment made me so angry because I remembered [during] my days of being out . . . calling in on many phone date lines and hearing about the many bi/married men who just could not tell their wives about their sexual orientation and how painful that was for them. And here was a Christian minister encouraging this young man to marry with a mask over his face about who he is and what he is about.

. . . I started coming out all over again. I no longer went to Courage meetings, and I started making friends in the gay community again. I started going back to my old therapist who encouraged me to be a healthy gay man, and to seek out healthy relationships. The more I began to accept myself all over again, the better I felt. Though I was still struggling with the anger I experienced from Courage . . . I was becoming happier and finding a better sense of myself, because I was again accepting myself as I am, not as Courage thought I should be.

On February 7th of 2009, just two days after my 40th Birthday, I met Jason and we fell in love. My partner Jason’s life has also been affected by the religious right, but in a different way. But we have both been able to talk about our experiences and find companionship and intimacy with each other in a very healthy way. Since meeting Jason, we have both started attending a near by Episcopal Cathedral, where LGBT people are welcomed and affirmed.

To read Philip’s testimony in its entirety, click here.




Courage = homo-negativity = poor emotional and sexual health

The second presenter at CPCSM’s “Holding the Courage Apostolate Accountable” forum was internationally-renowned researcher Dr. Simon Rosser of the School of Public Health at the University of Minnesota. Simon shared a wealth of information concerning the impact on emotional, physical and sexual well-being as the result of organizations, such as Courage, that convey and foster homo-negativity (i.e., negative attitudes towards homosexuality).

I’ll write more about Simon’s presentation at a later date. For now I just want to share what he said about an important University of Minnesota study that he oversaw. This study, the results of which were first published in the September 2008 issue of the peer-reviewed Journal of Homosexuality, shows that the degree of internalized homo-negativity among homosexual men is what predicts poor mental and sexual health – not the degree of homosexuality.

According to Simon, the results of this study help inform the debate of whether or not being homosexual is healthy.

“This particular study is a missing link in our understanding of the relationship between sexuality and health,” he says. “It provides new evidence that negative attitudes towards homosexuality, not homosexuality itself, are associated with both poorer mental and sexual health outcomes seen in sexual minorities. Conversely, positive attitudes towards homosexuality are associated with better mental and sexual health.”



Above: Dr. Simon highlights and discusses the four pastoral approaches to counseling on homosexuality.

Right: With my friend Freeman Wicklund.

Above: Philip Lowe chats with longtime CPCSM supporter Gerry Sell.

Above: Dr. Simon Rosser and Retired Lutheran Bishop Lowell Erdahl.
To read Lowell’s inspiring reflection, “Unlearning the Things
That Used to Be Obvious,” click here.

Taking action

After Philip and Simon made their presentations, I spoke on behalf of CPCSM and urged all in attendance to contact Courage and express their deep concern about our Church being linked to disreputable psychological theories and practices.

In particular, CPCSM is asking people to consider requesting, politely yet firmly, that Courage:

1) Publicly refute the pseudo-science of reparative therapy advocated by NARTH and other “ex-gay” groups.

2) Remove from its website links to any and all organizations offering such therapy.

3) Commit to actively dissuading its members from pursuing such therapy.

4) Educate its leadership and members on what the mainstream psychological establishment says about homosexuality and the impact of homo-negativity on psychological health, and be open to allowing reputable psychological knowledge to inform Catholic theology of human sexuality.

Courage’s central office is located in New York City. Fr. Paul Check serves as director of the apostolate in the U.S.

Courage
c/o Church of St John The Baptist
210 West 31st Street
New York NY 10001

E-mail: NYCourage@aol.com
Phone: (212) 268-1010
Fax: (212) 268-7150

Local chapters of Courage exist in various dioceses. Here in the Archdiocese of St. Paul-Minneapolis, Courage goes by the name of Faith in Action. The Office of Marriage, Family, and Life sponsors the Faith in Action program. Kathy Laird heads this office.

Faith in Action
c/o Office of Marriage, Family, and Life
328 W. Kellog Blvd.
St. Paul, MN 55102

E-mail: spmmfl@archspm.org
Phone: 651-291-4488 begin_of_the_skype_highlighting 651-291-4488 end_of_the_skype_highlighting or 651-291-4438

After making contact with Courage/Faith in Action, please consider sharing with CPCSM how your conversation went by e-mailing us at cpcsmmail@gmail.com or mbayly1965@yahoo.com. Thanks.


See also the previous Wild Reed posts:
Holding the Courage Apostolate Accountable
The Cowardice of Courage
It's Official: APA Opposes "Reparative Therapy"
The Continuum Just Shrank
“Curing” Homosexuality
Debunking NARTH (Part I)
Debunking NARTH (Part II)
What Scientists in the UK Are Saying About Homosexuality
The Real Meaning of Courage
The Many Forms of Courage (Part I)
The Many Forms of Courage (Part II)
The Many Forms of Courage (Part III)
Beyond Courage