Photo of the Day

Image: "Eddie and Quinn" by Michael J. Bayly.

Quote of the Day

. . . I am sure not getting why Catholicism is becoming all fixated on notions of Satan and spiritual warfare and how helpless and powerless we all are in the face of this personified evil force. It's this kind of teaching that drives me crazy about Benedict. He can be such a biblical literalist in some areas, but in other areas not so much, and I can't tell what his thought process is that makes those determinations. One could say he seems to practice a form biblical relativism.

I do know though that sin, hell, Satan, and all the attendant fear those lines of thought engender have historically packed churches and brought in many, many offerings. As much as I hate to admit it, sin and hell and those kind of fears fill pews far better than women priests, gay marriage or other notions of social justice and human dignity. This makes me wonder if religion, in the psychological sense, isn't a need deficiency proposition and that this fact limits it's appeal in post modern cultures. In cultures that place great emphasis on more optimistic notions of self improvement and self evolution, old paradigms of fear and insurmountable human deficiency just won't fly no matter who is wearing the clerical dresses or pronouncing the clerical words. . . .

— Colleen Kochivar-Baker
"General Benedict XVI Calls for Spiritual Combat"
Enlightened Catholicism
March 22, 2011

Jonathan Capehart: "Catholics Lead the Way on Same-Sex Marriage"

Recently on his Washington Post blog Jonathan Capehart (left) reflected on the "historic" findings of the most recent Washington Post-ABC News poll on same-sex marriage.

Why "historic"? Well, for the first time in the poll's history, more Americans support same-sex civil marriage than oppose it. But the actual focus of Capehart's op-ed is the "astounding" jump from last year's 55% to this year's 63% of white Catholics who support same-sex civil marriage. (Of course, it's not just "white Catholics" showing support for marriage equality but also Latino Catholics, as Joseph Palacios documents here.)

The findings of the Washington Post-ABC News poll, combined with similar data from other polls, compels Capehart to declare that Catholics lead the charge on acceptance of same-sex marriage. As a gay Catholic working for church reform I find both affirmation and hope in this.

I was also happy to see Phil Attey, executive director of Catholics for Equality, quoted in Capehart's op-ed. Phil was very helpful and supportive in the establishment of Catholics for Marriage Equality MN – an initiative that I and others undertook last October in response to the Minnesota Catholic Conference of Bishops' ongoing efforts to ban same-sex civil marriage.

As the results of poll after poll clearly demonstrate, the Catholic people do not agree with the clerical caste's stance on homosexuality and marriage equality. Members of this caste often declare themselves the teachers of the church. Perhaps as Catholics we need to remind them of our church's tradition of sensus fidelium (the "sense of the faithful") and of the reality that before one can be a good teacher, one must be a good listener.

Following is Jonathan Capehart's op-ed in its entirety.

___________________________________

The Washington Post-ABC News poll shows that same-sex marriage is supported by 53 percent of those surveyed. That's amazing. For the first time in the poll's history, the level of support for marriage equality cracked 50 percent. For the first time, a majority of men (53 percent) say yes to allowing gays to wed. But what's truly historic is where white Catholics are on this issue.

The question was straightforward: “Do you think it should be illegal or legal for gay and lesbian couples to get married?” In February 2010, an astounding 55 percent of white Catholics said "legal." In the current poll, the number jumped 8 points to 63 percent. This Post-ABC News poll corresponds with a Gallup poll I gasped at in June 2010. That survey showed that Catholics (62 percent) and men (53 percent) were leading the charge on acceptance of same-sex marriage, which was supported by 52 percent of all surveyed.

This doesn't come as a surprise to Phil Attey, executive director of Catholics for Equality, who alerted me to this interesting nugget in the Post-ABC News polling data. "American Catholics consistently poll higher on progressive social justice issues — including the freedom to marry for all," he said. "Our Catholic faith tradition is strongly based on social justice and our duty to take care of those who are unjustly oppressed and marginalized." He went on to say, "Our families have already dealt with this issue at a personal level, and Catholics largely base their moral understanding of the world through their personal relationships, not by the dictates of institutional forces, be they from our church hierarchy in Rome or conservative political groups. We see healthy, happy gay and lesbian families within our families, parishes and communities, and we know love and commitment when we see it."

May these latest poll results help the nascent and long-term effort in Congress to repeal the so-called Defense of Marriage Act. It won't happen overnight, and it won't be easy. But with more and more Americans siding with equality, there should be no fear of doing what is right.

– Jonathan Capehart
"Catholics Lead the Way on Same-Sex Marriage"
The Washington Post
March 21, 2011

Related Off-site Links:
Catholics More Supportive of Gay Rights Than General Public, Other Christians – Michael Sean Winters (National Catholic Reporter, March 22, 2011 – via The Progressive Catholic Voice).
U.S. Catholics Break with Church Hierarchy on Gay Relationships – Cathy Lynn Grossman (USA Today, March 23, 2011).
A Catholic Defense of Same-Sex Marriage – Daniel Maguire (The Religious Consultation on Population, Reproductive Health and Ethics, April 20, 2006).
A Catholic Case for Same-Sex Marriage – Erma M. Durkin (The Baltimore Sun, March 6, 2011).

See also the previous Wild Reed posts:
A Catholic Statement of Support for Same-Sex Marriage
At UST, a Rousing and Very Catholic Show of Support for Marriage Equality
A Hopeful and Encouraging Trend
"If the People Don't Believe It, It's Not True"
Sensus Fidelium Discussion Continues
Quote of the Day – September 14, 2010
A Catholic Understanding of Faithful Dissent (Part 1)
A Catholic Understanding of Faithful Dissent (Part 2)
The Catholic Challenge
Will We See Change?
The Treasure and the Dross

Jesus, Sex and Power

As co-chair of the Twin Cities-based Catholic Coalition for Church Reform (CCCR), I’m currently planning with others CCCR’s Synod of the Baptized 2011.

Last year’s synod drew 500 people. We’re hoping to double that number this year.

Last year what emerged from the synod was CCCR’s Action Coordinating Team (ACT), which, among other things, is currently facilitating “listening sessions” at which issues of conscience that concern local Catholics are being identified and discussed. This year, what we’re calling the Council of the Baptized will be the primary outcome of the synod. This council will serve as a representative and deliberative body that will address the issues of conscience discerned in ACT’s listening sessions and communicate throughout the Archdiocese of St. Paul-Minneapolis the voice of the people as it relates to these issues.

Exciting stuff, wouldn't you say? But, wait, there's more. . . . Last year, the synod’s keynote speaker was Paul Lakeland; this year it is Anthony Padovano.

Like Lakeland, Padovano (pictured at left) is a well-respected Catholic author and theologian. He holds doctorates and professorships in theology and literature, and is the author of twenty-nine books including three award-winning plays. His personal and professional papers are in the permanent archives of the University of Notre Dame.

Dr. Padovano has been visiting professor at twenty-five American colleges and universities. He lectures world-wide and appears regularly in the media. He was the first elected president of CORPUS and served in that capacity for ten years. He is a founding member and a distinguished professor of literature and philosophy at New Jersey's Ramapo College, and has served, since 1986, as pastor of The Inclusive Community where Catholics and Protestants worship together.

Recently I came across an article written by Padovano that in many ways reflects this blog's focus on exploring issues of sexuality within Catholicism. Accordingly, I share today a brief excerpt from Anthony Padovano’s "Power and Sex in the Catholic Church." This particular excerpt explores the preaching of Jesus as it relates to issues of sex and power.

__________________________________

Sex becomes a problem when power becomes a problem.

The reason why the Gospels deal so little with sexual concerns derives from their preferred focus on power issues. Indeed, the New Testament at large has little over-all interest in sexual ethics.

Sex becomes a central theme as authority and power escalate in importance. If the power equation in life is balanced, the sexual equation is automatically adjusted.

Since Jesus resists so regularly power as a defining characteristic of his life, sex is not of utmost significance in his preaching.

Jesus rejects power for himself in the secular and religious categories of his day. Notice his behavior.

He does not want to be king when people offer this to him. He does not allow the sword even when this may rescue him. He tells Pilate he has no interest in political power but only in a kingdom of love. He keeps a distance from priesthood and wealth. When he heals, he does not seek submission from others but faith. The Easter apparitions are not a summons to retribution or redress of injustice but a call to peace and forgiveness and mission and the Spirit.

The preaching of Jesus is consistent with his behavior.

If the Kingdom of God is within us, then institutional or ecclesial power does not justify us.

If love is the hallmark of discipleship, then hierarchy is of marginal value.

If forgiveness is a sign of the Spirit, then the heart is where salvation happens.

If we are judged by God in terms of how we treat one another, then vulnerabilities trigger compassion rather than dominance or advantage.

One sees all this at work quite strikingly in Jesus' teaching on divorce.

It is not divorce as such that Jesus prohibits.

Matthew and Paul both understand this and write exceptions into the earlier absolute prohibition of divorce in Mark. The Catholic Church expanded these exceptions over the centuries of the first millennium.

The intent of Jesus becomes clear when one realizes that Jewish law and custom of the time defined a married woman as property. Divorce was an exclusively male prerogative of power over a woman who was juridically his possession. Adultery is not a sexual but a property, power issue.

The Catholic Church today sees divorce as an essentially sexual issue. A marriage is not truly permanent until it is consummated. A second marriage after divorce is allowed if there is no sexual relationship in the second marriage.

Jesus, on the other hand, limits, not sexual options but, rather, the ability to own, control and dismiss another person.

Power over others, controlling others, is attacked in its very root by the preaching of Jesus.


To read Anthony Padovano's "Power and Sex in the Catholic Church" in its entirety, click here.


See also the previous Wild Reed posts:
The Sexuality of Jesus
Jesus Was a Sissy
The “Wild Gaiety” of Jesus’ Moral Teaching
Why Jesus is My Man
Jesus: Path-Blazer of Radical Transformation
Jesus: The Most Dangerous Kind of Rebel
Bishop Thomas Gumbleton: A Priesthood Set Apart and Above Others is Not the Way of Jesus
Relationship: The Crucial Factor in Sexual Morality
The Non-Negotiables of Human Sex

Margaret Stephens on "Living from the Core"

The Wild Reed series The Dancer and the Dance continues with an excerpt from an inspiring National Catholic Reporter article by novelist and playwright Margaret Stephens, who at age 50 took up ballet. Her piece is entitled "Living from the Core."

___________________

I’ve . . . learned that we may think of dance as an art form, but it is equally an athletic event, a fact Gatorade recognized last summer when they featured “So You Think You Can Dance” winner Lauren Froderman on their first dancer-athlete bottle. Dance takes as much strength and stamina as any other sport. “More,” I argue regularly with my varsity swimmer son. “Look at a professional dancer’s leg muscles. Rock solid.” Ditto arms, ditto abs. “No wonder those ancient Spartans” (my son is a military history buff) “included dance as part of their battle training.”

But the dancer has the extra burden of making it look like it all just kind of happens, with no apparent effort. A dancer must have amazing muscles, but they aren’t allowed to bulge. A dancer must maintain the illusion of ease, of airiness even. In ballet, no one sweats or grimaces or pants: Indeed, because of the incredible strength and discipline of their core muscles, dancers scarcely seem to breathe. Ballet seems all grace and flow.

Which it can do because a dancer works from her core, those powerful center muscles of the body that the rest of us mostly just let hang out. With such a strong center, a dancer’s arms and legs can appear to float through the air.

I will never come close to that kind of dancing. For me, it was an achievement when I managed to stay on demi-pointe in retiree (translation: balanced on one bent toe with the other leg bent and its pointed toe resting above the knee of the standing leg). I’d even let go of the barre to arch my arms in that ballerina half-circle overhead. Exultant. Until my teacher yelled, “Margaret! It’s not your arms’ job to hold you up!” and proceeded to use me as an example of how not to balance. That is, with gritted teeth, tensed shoulders, held breath, and arms locked in place as though gripping the air.

“You have to find your core,” she said, poking my middle. “Use those muscles. That’s where the power is. That’s what holds you up.”

And for a split second, I could feel those muscles, work them. My neck and shoulders relaxed. Freed from doing what they weren’t meant to do, my arms felt like they could float. I breathed. For that wonderful moment, I got it: Dancers appear ethereal because they hold themselves from their core. I felt the meaning behind the words. Port de bras. Carriage of the arms.

For that moment, I sensed what grace might feel like. Physical grace, I mean.

But it’s surely the same with God’s grace. Always within us, but not always felt, unless we learn to live from our spiritual core, true powerhouse of our being. Unless we train ourselves to rely on the strength of God instead of our tensed muscles, clenched teeth, I-can-do-it-myself determination.

We fling the words around: God’s grace. But do we live like we feel it? I think more often we forget what it feels like to let God hold us up. Which leaves my life, at any rate, ever more frenzied, stressful, outwardly graceless, as I metaphorically strain and clutch and claw to stay upright.

I think that if I can train myself to seek the strength of my true core, discipline myself to quit gripping with the wrong muscles, my life might feel, if only for a few precious moments, as effortless as that ballerina wafting across the stage. I might feel the grace I already have.

– Margaret Stephens
"Living from the Core"
National Catholic Reporter
March 14, 2011

See also the previous Wild Reed posts:
The Dancer and the Dance
The Premise of All Forms of Dance
The Church and Dance
Recovering the Queer Artistic Heritage
The Trouble with the Male Dancer (Part 1)
The Trouble with the Male Dancer (Part 2)
The Trouble with the Male Dancer (Part 3)
Istanbul (Part 4)
Scaling the Heights
Dark Matters
Oh! What’s This, Then?
Whimsical and Edgy
Love, Equality and the Rumba
An Evening with the Yuval Ron Ensemble
Oh, Yeah!
Matthew Bourne’s Swan Lake
Matthew Bourne’s Swan Lake Returns to New York
The Potential of Art & the Limits of Rigid Orthodoxy to Connect Us to the Sacred

Quote of the Day

. . . Most of the Catholics I know who have left have not rejected the Eucharistic aspect of Catholicism. They have rejected the authority structure. They have rejected what passes for Episcopal authority because it's bankrupt in it's integrity, and unaccountable for any of its acts. The stench inside the doors is too much. It covers up that which is hidden within the doors. The only Catholics who seem oblivious to this are either somehow above it all, or whose fear of hell keeps them solidly in denial. The rest of us are stuck somewhere out in the parking lot. Sort of in our own evacuation zone outside the toxic spiritual pollution. If that's the case, maybe we should just have Mass out in the parking lot, celebrated by priests who feel the same way. I'm sure the collections would be large enough to support the priests out there with the rest of us and there would be one other side benefit. We wouldn't have to use the new Mass translation.

In the meantime the desperate true believers and their unaccountable leadership could continue to desperately try to save a clerical system which is beyond salvation until they see they have to bury it for their own good. . . .

– Colleen Kochivar Baker
"Is It Lay Passivity or a Self Imposed Evacuation Zone?"
Enlightened Catholicism
March 20, 2011

Related Off-site Link:
Sex Abuse and the Legacy of Lay Passivity – Jamie L. Manson (National Catholic Reporter, March 14, 2011).

See also the previous Wild Reed posts:
What It Means to Be Catholic
The "Underground Church"
The Emerging Church
The Shrinking Catholic Tent
Dispatches from the Periphery
A Catholic "Crisis and Opportunity" in South Minneapolis
A "Catholic Moment" in Brisbane
An Update on St. Mary's in Brisbane
Of Mustard Seeds and Walled Gardens
Time to Go?
Knowing What to Do, Knowing Why to Stay

Prayer of the Week

The following prayer is adapted from one shared earlier today, Transfiguration Sunday, at the Spirit of St. Stephen’s Catholic Community.

We pray with all who know transfiguring change.
We pray with all whose lives have been changed
by a vision, a dream or a teacher.
We pray with all for whom a physical challenge
has changed their lives.
We pray with all parents whose lives are changed forever
with the arrival of a child.
With pray with all partners, lovers, husbands and wives
whose lives are changed forever in the presence of unearned love.
We pray with all whose lives are transformed by friendship.
We pray with all who know the transforming power of Mother Earth.
We pray with all who mourn the loss of anything, especially loved ones.
We pray in hope that our transfigured hearts will lead to transformed actions
in restoring the treasure of our beautiful, fragile planet.
We pray with all who consciously make transfiguring choices
and all who are surprised by the consequences of their choices.
We pray in gratitude for the Holy Spirit who opens our hearts
to the possibility of change over and over again.
We pray in gratitude for the wisdom of our elders,
those who have lived long enough to reflect
on the magnitude of transformation.
We pray with all who thrive on change
and all who fear the very thought of it.
We pray with all who abuse substances
in an attempt to deny or ignore change.
We pray with all whose mental capacity or illness
makes even small changes so very difficult.
We pray with all who love someone difficult to love;
may that love change the world.

Image: "Transfiguration" by Lewis Bowman.

The Prison of Pornography

One aspect of Western (i.e. white) gay male culture that concerns me is the largely unquestioned prevalence of pornography. I think it's true to say that for many gay men the presence and use of pornography in their lives is simply a given. This should not be confused with what I believe is a certain gay male aesthetic, one that is drawn to highlight, affirm and create beauty in all manner of forms. I don't, for instance, consider the above image to be pornographic, although no doubt some might.

So what do I mean by pornography? Well, lately I’ve been re-reading Robert Jensen’s insightful book Getting Off: Pornography and the End of Masculinity. Regular visitors to The Wild Reed may recall that in December 2009 I shared excerpts from this book, here and here.

Jensen’s focus is on straight pornography, i.e., that type of pornography that “shows us how men who accept the conventional conception of masculinity see women.” He argues that this type of pornography accepts brutality and inequality. It has also become “normalized and mainstreamed,” which shouldn’t be surprising, he says, as pornography’s values “represent mainstream values: the logic of domination and subordination that is central to patriarchy, hyper-patriotic nationalism, white supremacy, and a predatory corporate capitalism.”

Now some may argue that this understanding of pornography (one that reflects a feminist critique of porn) has nothing to do with gay pornography; that gay porn is different. Yet the reality is that much of the pornography made by and for gay men, and indeed much of gay male culture in the West, has appropriated the wider (straight) culture's patriarchal notions of domination and subordination. I mean, think about it: terms and ideas such as top and bottom, butch and fem, top dog and bitch indicate a dynamic that assigns a gay man's position and value in a hierarchical power structure based on his physical position in the sexual act. In gay porn this is often exaggerated and reinforced by acts of body and speech that are cruel and degrading. Some see all of this as a manifestation of the misogyny at the core of patriarchal attitudes and structures. It's a contention that others – gay and straight, male and female – readily dismiss.

Perhaps less easily dismissed is the idea that gay porn often sets men up for disappointment and failure. It does so by setting standards of sexual prowess and physical appearance (from youthful looks to penis size) that are simply impossible for the vast majority of men to meet. For some men, though by no means all, this can bring about (once the thrill of the pornographic moment has passed) feelings of inadequacy, low self-esteem and despondency. Such feelings can, in turn, encourage some to forgo seeking and experiencing the “real thing” and to instead seek more porn and the fantasy and escape it provides. And that’s another problematic aspect of pornography: many men definitely experience it as addictive, or perhaps more accurately, as a compulsion that negatively impacts their relationships and lives. (See the WebMD.com article, "Is Pornography Addictive?")

Thus what Jenson says about straight porn applies, I believe, to gay porn: “Going through the pornographic door typically leads into a prison cell. . . . It is a dead end. It doesn’t give a way to expand our imaginations but a way to constrain them, handing us a sexual script that keeps us locked up and locked down.”

Because I think there’s definitely something of value for gay men in Robert Jensen’s critique of straight porn, I share today the first of three excerpts from Jenson’s book, Getting Off: Pornography and the End of Masculinity. I look forward to any and all comments my readers may care to share regarding Jenson's perspective.

______________________________________

When people ask me the last time I used pornography – not as a researcher but as a consumer – my answer is “yesterday.” By that, I don’t mean that I watched a pornographic film yesterday, but that for those of us with a history of “normal” pornography use as children and young adults, quitting pornography doesn’t necessarily mean we are pornography-free. My sexual imagination was in part shaped by the use of pornography. I still have in my head vivid recollections of specific scenes in pornographic films I saw 25 years ago. To the degree possible, I try to eliminate those images when I am engaging in sexual activity today (whether alone or with my partner), and I think I’m pretty successful at it. The longer I’m away from pornography, the easier it gets. But the term is “to the degree possible.”

. . . What goes on in my body sexually is the result of not just what I think and feel in the moment, but a lifetime of training and experience. I wish I could neatly segregate and eliminate not only the effects of my past pornography use but the effects of all the ugly sexist training I have received in my life about sexuality. I wish I could wall myself off from the sexist messages and images that are all around me today. I wish I could find a way to create a space untouched by those forces in which I could live.

But if I am to be honest, I have to admit something that is painful to face: I still struggle against those forces. I have to work to bracket out of my mind – to the degree possible – those images. I have to work to remember that I can deepen my own experience of intimacy and sexuality only when I let go of those years of training in how to dominate. It’s hard to be honest about these things, because so much of what lives within us is rooted in that domination/subordination dynamic. But it’s a good rule of thumb that the things that are difficult are the most important to confront. That’s easy to say but hard to practice.

– Robert Jensen
Getting Off: Pornography and the End of Masculinity
Pp. 41-42

Recommended Off-site Links:
A Review of Robert Jensen’s Getting Off: Pornography and the End of Masculinity – Terry Ornelas (Austin Chronicle, December 7, 2007).
Male Gay Porn: Coming to Terms – Richard Dyer (Jump Cut, March 1985).
The Price of Pleasure: Talking with a Vocal Critic of the Porn Industry – Shawn Alff (The Daily Loaf, January 24, 2011).
Porn Addiction Destroys Relationships, Lives – Regan McMahon (San Francisco Chronicle, February 22, 2010).
Is Pornography Addictive? – Martin F. Downs (WebMD.com).
The Porn Myth: Why Pornography Turns Men Off the Real Thing – Naomi Wolf (New York Magazine, October 29, 2003).
The Gay Male Quest for Democratic, Mutual, Reciprocal Sex (Part 1) – The Leveret (August 7, 2008).
The Gay Male Quest for Democratic, Mutual, Reciprocal Sex (Part 2) – The Leveret (August 17, 2008).

See also the previous Wild Reed posts:
• Sex as Mystery, Sex as Light (Part 1)
• Sex as Mystery, Sex as Light (Part 2)
• Relationship: The Crucial Factor in Sexual Morality
• Human Sex: Weird and Silly, Messy and Sublime
• Making Love, Giving Life
• The Holy Pleasure of Intimacy
• The Non-Negotiables of Human Sex
• A Wise and Thoughtful Study of Sexual Ethics
• What Is It That Ails You?
• The Allure of St. Sebastian
• The Trouble with the Male Dancer (Part 1)
• The Trouble with the Male Dancer (Part 2)
• The Trouble with the Male Dancer (Part 3)
• Thoughts on Mallorca's "Naked Easter" Calendar
• A Fresh Take on Masculinity
• Learning from the East
• Jesus Was a Sissy

Quote of the Day

. . . [I]t’s not easy to be gracious when your basic rights are denied through a combination of misdirection, exaggeration, and – too often – outright misrepresentations.

Or when people like Robert George or Maggie Gallagher [of NOM] say that, whatever happens legally, the union of a same-sex couple just can’t be a marriage. For them, evidence that marriage equality does not lead to the dire outcomes predicted does not – cannot – count.

But these tactics are their only play, and not only because they don’t have actual legal arguments that should persuade any court. Worse for them, the stories of the dedication, hardship, and love – in short, the human stories – of same-sex couples and our families keep piling up.

It’s clear to anyone with a pulse at this point that the continued denial of the dignity and equality that marriage confers has a direct and profound effect on everyone, not just on us. This glaring injustice diminishes those who oppose us, too. The cost of denying the humanity of other people in favor of grand abstractions — the ill-defined “sanctity” of marriage, the superiority of one race over another, the proper role for women — is high, and is often seen in the soul-seared apologies that follow, sometimes years too late.

. . . Opponents often express the worry that same-sex marriages will lead to the devaluation of marriage. (Funny that they don’t seem nearly as worried about it when marriage is shredded by opposite-sex couples, but never mind.) They should instead worry that denying the basic humanity and dignity of an often-despised minority diminishes all of us — the “queer” and the “normal,” alike.

— John Culhane
"The Human Cost of Denied Gay Equality"
365Gay.com
March 17, 2011

See also the previous Wild Reed posts:
A Message for NOM (and the Catholic Hierarchy)
Catholic Dad: My Gay Son and His Partner Are Created in the Likeness and Image of God
A Cradle Catholic's Case for Same-Sex Marriage
Steve Chapman: "Time is On the Side of Gay Marriage"
A Catholic Statement of Support for Same-Sex Marriage

Recommended Off-site Link:
Dialoguing with the Archbishop: Amendment Campaign Contrary to Church Moral Teaching -- Paula Ruddy (The Progressive Catholic Voice, March 3, 2011).

Changing Times

The video I share below is great fun. It's sure to make you smile, if not laugh out loud! It's a mother's video taped recording of her teenage kids (and perhaps some of their friends) watching the recent Glee episode in which Kurt and Blaine finally kiss!

Here's how The Los Angeles Times describes the much-anticipated moment:

Tuesday night's Glee brought Kurt and Blaine fans – by which I guess I mean pretty much every single Glee watcher – the moment they'd been waiting for.

"Kurt, there is a moment when you say to yourself, 'Oh, there you are. I've been looking for you forever,'" Blaine says, scooting his chair a little closer, putting his hand on Kurt's hand, before continuing. "Watching you do 'Blackbird' this week, that was a moment for me. About you. You move me, Kurt. And this duet would just be an excuse to spend more time with you."

And with that, my patient friends, Blaine and Kurt kissed. Tenderly. Passionately. More than once.

And on prime time TV – and on Fox! Yes, as my friend Randi noted when she shared the following video earlier today on Facebook: "The times, they are changing! And I love it." Me too, Randi! Me too.





See also the previous Wild Reed posts:
Those Glee Boys Are At It Again!
"Glambert" and the New Gay Stereotype

Recommended Off-site Links:
Kurt and Blaine Kiss on Glee – The Advocate (March 16, 2011).
Anyone Else Think That Dreamy Blaine/Kurt Moment Had to Be a Dream? – Mandi Bierly (Entertainment Weekly, March 16, 2011).

Diarmuid Ó Murchú on Celibacy and Androgyny

Social psychologist, "evolutionary theologian," and Sacred Heart Missionary priest Diarmuid Ó Murchú has an interesting and, no doubt for some, controversial new essay published in The National Catholic Reporter. In it he offers a "fresh appraisal" of the call to celibacy.

Overall, I appreciate the perspective of Ó Murchú and consider the ideas and insights he shares important to the Catholic Church's much-needed discussion on human sexuality. However, as evidenced here, I don't consider his perspective above critique. That being said, following (with added links) are excerpts from his latest essay on celibacy and androgyny.

____________________________

. . . It seems to me, and to many developmental psychologists, that our sexuality is first and foremost a form of psychic energy and not just a biological capacity with procreation as its primary purpose. The physical and biological dimensions of our sexuality ensue from the psychic foundations. As a psychic phenomenon, sexuality may be described as the sum total of our feelings, moods and emotions as articulated through relational interaction, which the Canadian theologian Carter Heyward pushes into the spiritual realm by defining sexuality as: “Our embodied relational response to sacred/erotic power.” The psychic and spiritual aspects become much more transparent and integrated in the life-experience of the androgyne.

I am proposing an understanding of celibacy that may seem very new, but in fact is quite ancient. By revisiting the notion of androgyny, I want to activate a spirituality and theology of celibacy more coherent and congruent for our time.

. . . The inner drive is towards integration and wholeness, motivated in this case not so much by conscious choice as by an inner subconscious urge which is fundamentally spiritual in nature. And it is not a once-and-for-all achievement; it is a life-long process, which merits the status of a life-calling or vocation, as distinct from a goal one reaches through learning and human accomplishment.

The androgyne and mystic seem to have a lot in common; each aspires to a sense of wholeness that transcends all our man-made distinctions and dualisms. Perhaps, St. Paul was alluding to this when he describes the new person in Christ: “There is neither Jew nor Greek, . . .slave or free, . . . male or female” (Gal.3:28). The mystical dimension helps to articulate and channel the spiritual meaning which is central to androgynous orientation; this may be subconscious rather than conscious and may not be easily integrated with formal religion.

Psycho-sexually, androgynous behaviour is informed by a stronger desire for psychic wholeness rather than driven to perform out of stereotypical, biological conditioning. Because it is difficult to internalise this identity in a culture addicted so rigidly to sexist and gendered stereotypes, androgynes are often labelled as bi-sexuals or transsexuals, and some prematurely adopt these labels.

I suspect that people called to a celibate vocation effectively embrace an androgynous identity. This is not something they have consciously chosen; more likely it is something that happens in the internal spiritual realm evoking a particular calling or vocation. Were such people always disposed to this calling - already marked out at birth as several ancient cultures claim? I feel unable to offer a meaningful response to this question. Whatever the preconditions governing the vocational call, the consequences remain the same and it is the consequences I am exploring in this essay.

Celibacy in its primordial significance seems to arise from a passionate desire to share more closely in the erotic intimacy of the Divine. God is the supreme lover who allures and captivates the heart of the loved one. This can easily be depicted as a mystical calling for the rare few, with nothing of value or worth for the rest of humanity. I suspect that the opposite may be the case. The celibate fulfils a cultural role – perhaps a paradoxical one – exemplifying the ultimacy that is at the heart of all our desiring as a human species. Of course, the vocational motivation may be based on less worthy aspirations, some of which may even be pathological; this is an area for profound and comprehensive discernment.

Despite this divine initiative – or perhaps precisely because of it – I wish to suggest that the celibate calling is a highly sexualised one. The celibate may well be the most erotic of all humans, honouring a very ancient understanding of the Divine as a highly eroticised life-force, impregnating the whole of creation. That being the case, two important adjustments need to be made to our thinking. Firstly, God is not a-sexual, and neither is any organism created by God. Secondly, the celibate needs expressive outlets for psycho-sexual energy, which cannot be adequately or appropriately channelled through sublimation or total abstinence.

On this complex question, ancient cultures may have been far more enlightened than contemporary ones. They provided outlets for the expression and articulation of sexual desire other than those of the monogamous, married relationship. They seem to have understood better the intense and amorphous energy of human sexuality and facilitated its articulation through rituals and ceremonies whereby people were sexually intimate, inclusive of genital expression (not to be reduced to biological intercourse). We glean evidence for this through ancient Chinese and Indian art; through spiritually-informed traditions like that of the Tantric philosophy of ancient India; in the iconography of early Hinduism; through a vast range of initiation rites among indigenous peoples, and through the courtly customs of medieval Europe.

That celibacy will involve an option for non-marriage makes a lot of practical and pastoral sense. That it must also imply total abstinence from sexual intimacy, is less compelling in our time. What may be most shocking about this claim is my differentiation between marriage and sexual expression. As indicated at the beginning of this essay, human sexuality is a process of growing more deeply into our evolving humanity - which for most of our time on earth was not confined to monogamous marriage - and there are several contemporary indications that this equation will not prevail in future.

. . . In popular Catholic culture, priesthood inevitably means a celibate lifestyle. I believe this has obfuscated the real meaning of celibacy and continues to make a meaningful retrieval both problematic and confusing. Long before a dominantly male priesthood evolved (about 7,000 years ago), celibacy was extensively practised. Celibacy did not begin with the Catholic Church, nor even with the monastic systems of the other great religions. Celibacy should not be equated with any one religious sub-group, particularly one so rooted in ecclesiastical structure.

Formal priesthood is probably too rigidified, institutionalised and ascetically based to appropriate the mystical embrace of androgynous values. Those committed to the monastic/vowed life stand a better chance of witnessing authentically, but that role too has been co-opted into the ecclesiastical/religious system and, correspondingly, has been seriously disenfranchised in terms of what it has to offer. The congealed clericalised culture is just not amenable to this new and daring vision.

In the light of recent debates, especially in USA, one wonders if greater recognition of homosexuality among Catholic priests and clerical students would be a step towards the integration of the androgyne in priestly celibates. It may help, but it could also confuse. Revisioning celibacy to accommodate those of homosexual orientation is a desirable goal, but it leaves deeper issues unrecognised and unresolved. In most cases, I suspect homosexuality is not the problem; human sexuality is. Because of the heavy impact of dualistic thinking in our Western world, unconsciously we try to resolve problems by switching from one pole to the other. In the case of celibacy, I think we are in great danger of missing the deeper challenge, namely the archetypal lure to an androgynous lifestyle!

. . . Naively, we assume that a homosexual leaning is at the root of the problem of clerical abuse. To me, at least, it seems fairly obvious that celibate sexuality itself, and the repressive clerical culture in which it is (mal)nourished, is the problem, precisely because neither the Church nor the wider culture is capable of recognising or affirming what the call to celibacy is really about. The so-called pedophile priest may be the ultimate scapegoat in one of the greatest cover-ups known to modern culture.

Eugene Kennedy has taken the bold step to describe celibate sexuality in terms of an archetypal wounding, which presumably can only be healed by tender and compassionate care. And if such positive regard is not forthcoming, then obviously the woundedness grows infectious and can create great havoc for priests themselves as well as for others. While Kennedy attempts to shift the focus to the archetypal level (I know of nobody else who has attempted this), I have some reservations about his starting point.

I don’t believe that people enter priesthood in a wounded state - particularly those who feel a deep sense of calling. I believe the majority enter as quite wholesome people who become wounded because of the internal corruption of the clericalised-institutionalised system with which they affiliate. Nor should we lay all the blame at the feet of a culture of clericalised power which Kennedy seems to suggest is the heart of the problem. I blame the wider culture of repression which is unable to discern the deeper meaning of human sexuality, for everybody, celibates included. . . .

– Diarmuid Ó Murchú
"Celibacy and Androgyny"
The National Catholic Reporter
March 16, 2011

See also the previous Wild Reed posts:
Thoughts on Celibacy (Part 1)
Thoughts on Celibacy (Part 2)
Thoughts on Celibacy (Part 3)
Celibacy and the Roman Catholic Priesthood
What Is It That Ails You?
Now We Know
In the Garden of Spirituality – Diarmuid Ó Murchú
A Little Too Fluid?

Image: "Ascension Into Androgyny" by Daniel Neskovich.

Lent with Henri

My friend David recently shared with me the Lenten booklet of reflections being used within his parish community. Entitled Renewed for Life, this resource draws from the writings of Henri J.M. Nouwen (pictured at right).

I found the following selection for last Sunday, the First Sunday of Lent, to be particularly insightful – and especially recommend it to LGBT youth and indeed anyone who feels oppressed by the rhetoric and actions of homophobic individuals and institutions. Of course, one can only wonder how much Nouwen's writing of this reflection was influenced by his own experience as a gay priest in the profoundly homophobic Roman Catholic clerical caste.

______________________________

Temptations

He was in the wilderness forty days, tempted by Satan. (Mark 1:13)

Yes, there is that voice, the voice that speaks from above and from within and that whispers softly or declares loudly: "You are my Beloved, on you my favor rests." It certainly is not easy to hear that voice in a world filled with voices that shout: "You are no good, you are ugly; you are worthless, you are despicable, you are nobody – unless you can demonstrate the opposite.

These negative voices are so loud and so persistent that it is easy to believe them. That's the great trap. It is the trap of self-rejection. Over the years, I have come to realize that the greatest trap in our life is not success, popularity or power, but self-rejection. Success, popularity and power can indeed be a great temptation, but their seductive power often comes from the way they are part of the much larger temptation to self-rejection. When we have come to believe in the voices that call us worthless and unlovable, then success, popularity and power are easily perceived as attractive solutions.

God, help me to appreciate just how much you have blessed me in so many ways.


See also the previous Wild Reed posts:
Quote of the Day – March 6, 2011
The Challenge to Become Ourselves
Can You Hear Me, Yet, My Friend?
In the Garden of Spirituality – Henri Nouwen

Recommended Off-site Links:
HenriNouwen.org
Wounded Prophet: A Portrait of Henri J.M. Nouwen
Feast of Henri J.M. Nouwen, September 21 – Kenneth Randolph Taylor (Sundry Thoughts, September 2, 2009).
Henri Nouwen: Love Deeply – Therese J. Borchard (Beyond Blue, May 8, 2008).

Dutch Boy Sings About His Two Fathers

A Facebook friend recently shared the following video of a young Dutch entertainer named Terence Uphoff (right) singing about his two fathers on the popular TV show Kinderen voor Kinderen (Children for Children). It's quite a brave performance, and one that gives me much hope for the future.

We live in a terrace house,
we have nice stuff at home.
We live there quite okay
with three of us together.
Bas works for the newspaper
and Diedrick is laboratorian.
They adopted me when I was one year old.

I'm still the only child
but that's okay with me.
That way I get all the attention
and love from those two.
Bas brings me to the school
with Diedrick I play violin
and with three of us we watch soaps on TV.

I have two fathers,
two real fathers
Sometimes cool and sometimes strict
but it's going great with us.

I have two fathers,
two real fathers.
Who, if they have to,
both can be my mother.

When I have to go to bed
Diedrick checks my homework
and Bas does the dishes or is doing laundry.
And if I'm ill or have a fever
then there's nobody I know
who can be so caring as Diedrick or Bas.

Sometimes I get bullied at school;
of course, it's not nice.
"You're parents, they are homo!"
They find it strange.
Then I just shrug my shoulders,
"So what! I'm their son!"
It's not ordinary
but for me it's quite okay.

I have two fathers,
two real fathers.
Sometimes cool and sometimes strict
but it's going great with us.

I have two fathers,
two real fathers.
Who, if they have to,
both can be my mother.

See also the previous Wild Reed posts:
Competent Parenting Doesn't Require "Traditional Marriage"
One Catholic Gay Parent Who Isn't Leaving the Church
Gay Adoption: A Catholic Lawyer's Perspective

Recommended Off-site Link:
A Collection of Articles and Research Findings Concerning Children Raised by Gay Parents (Compiled by the Catholic Pastoral Committee on Sexual Minorities)

Catholic Dad: "My Gay Son and His Partner are Made in the Likeness and Image of God"

Brian Cahill (pictured at right with San Francisco Archbishop George H. Niederauer) is the former executive director of Catholic Charities in San Francisco. He has an op-ed in today's San Francisco Chronicle, from which the following is excerpted.

I am a Catholic who . . . is sustained by regular Mass, scripture and prayer. I am also the father of a gay son, from whom I was slow to learn how painful, debilitating and denigrating are the constant legal and social reminders that he and those like him are not fully accepted members of the human community.

In their statement supporting Prop. 8, the California Catholic Bishops declared that marriage is "intrinsic to stable, flourishing and hospitable societies." Ironically, this is one of the compelling reasons gay and lesbian couples wish to be joined in civil marriages. They are seeking a structure and context for their love, commitment, fidelity and mutual support.

. . . I know that my son and his partner are made in the image and likeness of God. They are not perfect, but they are brilliant, creative, personable and moral. They are certainly not objectively disordered. I know, as do many fathers, mothers, grandparents, sisters, brothers, friends, neighbors, co-workers and fellow parishioners of gay and lesbian individuals and couples, that the relationship, the love, the friendship, the personal association, the proximity, put a human face on this issue and let us see that in the context of the human spirit, none of us are different and none of us should be anything less than fully accepted members of our human community.

– Brian Cahill
"My Gay Son: The Face of Church's Lack of Respect"
The San Francisco Chronicle
March 12, 2011

See also the previous Wild Reed posts:
Voices of Parental Authority and Wisdom
A Parent's Prayer
Catholic Rainbow (Australian) Parents
The Bishops' "Guidelines": A Parent's Response
Grandma Knows Best
A Cradle Catholic's Case for Same-Sex Marriage
A Catholic Statement of Support for Same-Sex Marriage
Catholic Theologian: Heterosexism, Not Homosexuality, is the Problem
The Triumph of Love: An Easter Reflection
The Gifts of Homosexuality
LGBT Catholics Celebrate Being "Wonderfully Made"
Getting It Right

Maxwell's Hidden Gem

. . . Or maybe that should be gems – given what we get to see (or rather, not see) of Maxwell in the music video I share this evening and from which the above screen cap is taken!

But seriously, "Music Night" this evening at The Wild Reed highlights "Luxury: Cococure," a track from neo soul singer-songwriter Maxwell's album Embrya – described by one critic as "incredibly romantic, unusual, and a hidden gem."

Notes Wikipedia:

Released June 30, 1998 on Columbia Records, Embyra is the second studio album by R&B and neo soul musician Maxwell. As with his previous album, Maxwell's Urban Hang Suite, Maxwell collaborated with Stuart Matthewman, a long-time cohort of Sade. With a lesser jazz emphasis, Embrya continues the trend towards heavy basslines and string arrangements, and it focuses on themes such as love and spirituality. However, the album features more of an emphasis on groove than melodies. Its production sound contains bassy, electronic and slight syncopated beats. Maxwell has defined the album's title as "an approaching growing transition thought to be contained but destined for broader perception."

"Luxury: Cococure" (which can be heard here) was the first and only single from the album, and the music video for it features Maxwell in the rather unusual setting of a bath tub! But, hey, no complaints from me!

Following is a snippet of this video and a review by Kit O'Toole of Embrya. Enjoy!

Maxwell's Embrya Remains A Romantic Hidden Gem

By Kit O'Toole

BlogCritics.org
June 23, 2008

During the 90s, the “Neo-Soul” movement hit the music scene, heralded by Erykah Badu's excellent album Baduizm. Like-minded artists followed in her footsteps – D'Angelo, Angie Stone, and Jill Scott, to name just a few. One such artist, Maxwell, earned critical acclaim with his semi-concept album Maxwell's Urban Hang Suite, which chronicles a relationship from beginning to (presumably) happy ending.

When he released his follow-up studio album, Embrya, in 1998, fans were puzzled by its shift in tone – still romantic, but lyrically obtuse. Using unconventional instrumentation like ukuleles further hampered its accessibility. Virtually impossible to categorize, Embrya received little airplay, spawned only one single (“Luxury: Cococure”), and quickly faded from the music charts. Ten years later, the album deserves a second listen. While somewhat eccentric, Embrya remains incredibly romantic, unusual, and a hidden gem.

Like Urban Hang Suite, Embrya was intended as a concept album, although each of the songs can stand on its own. The best summarization of this concept is water: every song possesses a floating, drifting sound, as if the songs were recorded underwater. Sound unusual? Yes, but the beautiful chord changes and unusual arrangements make the sound possible. In fact, it resembles an album Marvin Gaye could have made if he combined the romanticism and sexuality of Let's Get It On with the cerebral qualities of What's Going On.

The titles of some songs seem somewhat pretentious – ”Everwanting: To Want You to Want” and “I'm You: You Are Me and We Are You (Pt. Me & You)” are two obvious examples – but look beyond them to hear some sensual Neo-Soul. “Drowndeep: Hula” uses the unlikely combination of soul and Hawaiian music, accompanied by Maxwell's delicate vocal, to create an almost otherworldly sound. “Gravity: Pushing to Pull” uses an unusual electronic sound to create a swaying beat.

If you prefer Maxwell's traditional sound, look no further than the track “Eachhoureachsecondeacheachminuteeachday: Of My Life.” The title is a mouthful, but Maxwell's falsetto vocals and mid-tempo soul grooves make this song resemble an Urban Hang Suite outtake.

“Matrimony: Maybe You” continues his fascination with commitment and old-fashioned romance. For those who enjoyed Maxwell's version of Kate Bush's “This Woman's Work” from the Unplugged EP, try “Know These Things: Shouldn't You,” featuring a sparse arrangement and Maxwell's lilting voice.

Perhaps one reason Embrya was overlooked was its unfortunate choice for lead single, “Luxury: Cococure,” a strange track which included abstract lyrics, a baffling title, and a weird video of Maxwell taking a bath while making faces. No wonder the album was misinterpreted as avant-garde or an unsuccessful experiment.

Another issue was its unclassifiable genre. Its mixture of soul, rock, world music, classical, and other influences prevented it from getting frequent airplay on R&B stations. After Embrya, Maxwell kept a low profile until 2001, when he released Now, a solid yet more conventional collection of Neo-Soul. How unfortunate that the Embrya experience clearly discouraged him from experimenting further with his sound.

Embrya may not be easily accessible due to its obtuse titles and vague concept album quality. Do not let those issues prevent you from giving this album a listen. In fact, several listens are required to appreciate the songs' multi-layered, beautiful qualities. Just put on a pair of headphones, turn up the volume, and become lost in the sensual, romantic, and yes, watery world of Embrya.





For more of Maxwell at The Wild Reed, see:
• Rockin' with Maxwell
• Maxwell's Welcome Return
• Maxwell in Concert
• The Return of Maxwell

Musical artists previously featured at The Wild Reed:
Ivri Lider, Elaine Paige and Barbara Dickson, Jane Clifton, Enigma, Yvonne Elliman, Lenny Kravitz, Marty Rhone, Don Henley, Propeller Heads and Shirley Bassey, Stephen Gately, Nat King Cole, Enrique Iglesias, Helen Reddy, Australian Crawl, PJ and Duncan, Cass Elliot, The Church, Pet Shop Boys and Dusty Springfield, Wall of Voodoo, Stephen “Tin Tin” Duffy, Pink Floyd, Kate Ceberano, Judith Durham, Wendy Matthews, Buffy Sainte-Marie, 1927, Mavis Staples, Maxwell, Joan Baez, Dave Stewart & Friends, Tee Set, Darren Hayes, Suede, Wet, Wet, Wet, Engelbert Humperdinck, The Cruel Sea, Shirley Bassey, Loretta Lynn & Jack White, Maria Callas, Foo Fighters, Rosanne Cash, Jenny Morris, Scissor Sisters, Kate Bush, Rufus Wainwright, and Dusty Springfield.