A Bushland Wedding

As I mentioned previously, I recently attended the wedding of my friends Jeremiah and Kristy in the coastal town of Kingscliff, New South Wales.

I have to say that it was one of the most beautiful and inspiring weddings I've ever attended. Everything from the bushland setting to the vows that Jeremiah and Kristy declared to one another was memorable – and often quite moving.

I was honored to be asked to select and recite a reading as part of the wedding ceremony. I share today this reading along with images of Jeremiah and Kristy's beautiful bushland wedding – beginning below with a few pictures of where we stayed while in Kingscliff and of when I helped Jeremiah and his brothers, Raph and Ig, prepare the area of bushland where the ceremony took place.



Above: Ig checks out the view of Santai Resort where we and many of the other wedding guests stayed.



Above: Along with Ig, my "roommates" at the resort included Ig's brother Raph, the boys' father Mike, and Mike's brother Bartley.



Above: Raph with his sisters Tess and Dom, and Tess' husband Victor.



Above and below: The morning of the wedding saw Jeremiah, Raph, Ig and I up bright and early preparing the area of bushland in which the ceremony would take place. The guy mowing the grass was a complete stranger who, when out walking with his wife, asked us what we were up to and then returned half-an-hour later with his mower!





Above and below: Making sure folks know where to go!




Above: Raph, back at the resort and getting ready for his brother's wedding.



Above: Kristy and her brother arrive at the ceremony.




Above and below: Not even a brief shower of rain could spoil the special beauty of the day. Indeed, it seemed to add to it!

The Art of a Good Marriage

By Wilferd Arlan Peterson

A good marriage must be created.

In marriage the little things are the big things . . .

It is never being too old to hold hands,

It is remembering to say "I love you" at least once a day,

It is never going to sleep angry,

It is having a mutual sense of values and common objectives,

It is standing together and facing the world,

It is forming a circle of love that gathers in the whole family,

It is speaking words of appreciation and demonstrating gratitude in thoughtful ways,

It is having the capacity to forgive and forget,

It is giving each other an atmosphere in which each can grow,

It is a common search for the good and the beautiful,

It is not only marrying the right person, it is being the right partner.




Above: The lovely couple at their wedding reception at Fins Restaurant, Kingscliff.



Above (from left): Mim, Collette, Dom, Mike, Bernie, Bartley, Raph and Ig.




Above: Jeremiah and Garth.



Above: The mother of the groom shares a few words.



Above: Iggy and Raph.


Left: With the happy couple on the day after their wedding. Later that afternoon I returned to Jeremiah's parents' place in Maclean with Mike, Bernie, Bartley, Raph, Ig and Mim. A few days later the Clarence River flooded, stranding us in the town for almost a week. For images and commentary of our time "under siege," see the series of Wild Reed posts that start here.


See also the previous Wild Reed posts:
Sharing a Good Thing
Brisbane and the Sunshine Coast (January 2010)
Newtown (December 2008)
Travelin' South (August 2006)

Images: Michael J. Bayly.

Quote of the Day

I'm still trying to figure out what in the world [the Colorado Springs Diocese's 12-step program for homosexuals] is attempting to accomplish. If it's to help a person modify abusive exploitative sexuality, a twelve step program for that already exists – and it works with either gays or straights. I suspect this program at core is not about addictive abusive sexuality. It's about reinforcing 'correct Catholic thinking' about gay sexuality. I also suspect it's sort of aimed at seminary types who could probably get a seal of approval if they participate in this program.

There is also no compelling reason not to start a group for straight single men, and that might actually help accomplish a reduction in abortion and unwed motherhood. So I'm wondering why there is no group for straight single men. The amount of destruction left behind by irresponsible ego driven straight single men is legendary and it already gone through a number of scandals involving the rape of female cadets. Date rape is exploding on all our college campuses and that's not happening because of gay men. Virtually every college and university fraternity could support such a twelve step group. The Church could also start a group in the inner city where marriage before sex is about as likely as caviar with dinner.

I really want to know why straight single men are always left out of all the sexual discussions? Is it because the Church actually has no courage when it comes to dealing with straight men and the repercussions of irresponsible straight sex? That would be my guess. It doesn't take courage to focus on the supposed flaws of a sub group already thoroughly conditioned to accept such a focus. This is just more abusive marginalization dressed up as a pastoral initiative. It's also an abuse of the Twelve Step therapeutic approach which is targeted at addictive behavior, not romantic attachment. And maybe that's what's bugging me. The Church seems incapable of seeing homosexuality in terms of romantic attachment just as it's seemingly incapable of seeing aspects of single male heterosexual activity in terms of an exploitative and outright selfish "lifestyle."

– Colleen Kochivar-Baker
"About That Twelve Step Program For Gay Men
– Where's The Courage In That?"
Enlightened Catholicism
January 22, 2011

See also the previous Wild Reed posts:
• Notes from the "Laughable but Tragic" World of Courage
• John Townsend Responds to His Critics
• Beyond Courage
• Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Courage
• John Harvey, Founder of the Courage Apostolate, 1918-2010
• Holding the Courage Apostolate Accountable
• The Cowardice of Courage
• The Many Forms of Courage
• What is a "Lifestyle"?
• The Gifts of Homosexuality
• Celebrating Our Sanctifying Truth
• The Many Manifestations of God's Loving Embrace
• Sons of the Church: The Witnessing of Gay Catholic Men – A Discussion Guide
• A Catholic Bibliography on Gay Issues

Angourie

Last Tuesday, January 11, I enjoyed an afternoon with my friends Raph and Iggy at Angourie, a small village renowned for its surf and "local surf industry icons." I was actually more interested in the rocks and trees!

Above and below: While at Angourie Ig went for a run along the beach . . .

. . . while Raph took a snooze!

See also the previous Wild Reed posts:
An Afternoon at Flynns Beach
Photo of the Day – January 1, 2011
Town Beach
A Day Roving the Mid North Coast

Photography: Michael J. Bayly.

Sebastian: Saint, Martyr, Gay Icon

Notes Wikipedia:

Plausibly the earliest gay icon was Saint Sebastian, a Christian saint and martyr, whose strong and shirtless physique, symbolic arrow-pierced flesh, and rapturous look of pain combined have intrigued artists, both gay and straight, for centuries and began the first explicitly gay cult in the nineteenth century. Journalist Richard A. Kaye writes, "contemporary gay men have seen in Sebastian at once a stunning advertisement for homosexual desire (indeed, a homoerotic ideal), and a prototypical portrait of tortured closet case." Due to Saint Sebastian's status as gay icon, Tennessee Williams chose to use that name for the martyred character Sebastian in his play, Suddenly, Last Summer. The name was also used by Oscar Wilde – as Sebastian Melmoth – when in exile after his release from prison. Wilde, an Irish writer and poet, was about as "out of the closet" as was possible for the late nineteenth century, and is himself considered to be a gay icon.

See also the previous Wild Reed posts:
The Allure of St. Sebastian
"From Byzantine Daddy to Baroque Twink" – Charles Darwent on the Journey of St. Sebastian
The Archangel Michael as Gay Icon
St. Michael the Archangel: Perspectives and Portraits
Sergius and Bacchus: Martyrs, Saints and Lovers
Honoring (and Learning From) the Passion of Sergius and Bacchus
The Inherent Sensuality of Roman Catholicism

Image: "The Martyrdom of St. Sebastian" by Il Sodoma.

Quote of the Day

[A recently released 1997 letter from the Vatican to the bishops of Ireland] undermines persistent Vatican claims, particularly when seeking to defend itself in U.S. lawsuits, that Rome never instructed local bishops to withhold evidence or suspicion of crimes from police. It instead emphasizes the church's right to handle all child-abuse allegations and determine punishments in house rather than give that power to civil authorities.

Signed by the late Archbishop Luciano Storero, Pope John Paul II's diplomat to Ireland, the letter instructs Irish bishops that their new policy of making the reporting of suspected crimes mandatory "gives rise to serious reservations of both a moral and canonical nature."

Storero wrote that canon law, which required abuse allegations and punishments to be handled within the church, "must be meticulously followed." Any bishops who tried to impose punishments outside the confines of canon law would face the "highly embarrassing" position of having their actions overturned on appeal in Rome, he wrote.

Catholic officials in Ireland and the Vatican declined AP requests to comment on the letter, which [Irish broadcasters] RTE said it received from an Irish bishop.

– Shawn Pogatchnik
"Vatican Warned Irish Bishops Not to Report Abuse"
The Associated Press
January 18, 2011

Related Off-Site Links:
Vatican Says 1997 Irish Abuse Letter Misunderstood – Nicole Winfield (Associated Press, January 19, 2011).
Essential Reading: Tom Doyle's Response to John Allen, Jr. – The Progressive Catholic Voice (December 27, 2011).

See also the previous Wild Reed posts:
Father Thomas Doyle: "There's Something Radically Wrong with the Institutional Catholic Church"
Quote of the Day – December 22, 2010
Quote of the Day – April 28, 2010
The Real Crisis
The Roman Catholic Pyramid is Crumbling
An Offering of Ashes

In Maclean, an End to the "Siege"

.

5: 30 p.m. – As I mentioned in an earlier post, "under siege" has been an expression used a lot to describe many of the flooded-in communities throughout south east Queensland and northern New South Wales. It's a term that brings to mind epic adventures from the likes of The Lord of the Rings and Prince Valiant! In many ways these last few days have been adventurous – but also heart-breakingly sad and devastating for many.

Currently the news is filled with stories of people in Brisbane who are selflessly giving of their time and energy to lend a hand to those most hard hit by the recent flooding of the city. I find these stories to be quite inspiring. In most cases people are helping total strangers.

As Brisbane and other areas begin to clean-up, here in Maclean the flood waters have receded enough to be able to reach the Pacific Highway and travel south to Grafton. As a result, I'll be able to catch a bus tonight in Grafton for Port Macquarie.

The end to the "siege" here in Maclean has also allowed my friends, the newly-weds Jeremiah and Kristy, to drive from Tweed Heads to Maclean, where they plan to make their home. They arrived just as Jeremiah's mum Bernie and siblings Raph, Ig and Mim, and I returned from a delightful afternoon at Brooms Head.

Above: Mim and her dad Mike relaxing earlier this morning.

Above: Raph, getting ready to return to Queensland's Sunshine Coast.

At around lunch time today, Mike and I drove into Maclean to do some errands. On the way back I asked if we could stop so I could photograph a horse I'd notice a number of times over the past few days. I thought a shot of it with the flood waters in the background would make a good picture.

As it turned out, this particular horse was very friendly, and as soon as I began approaching the paddock it was in, it came right up to the fence and let me pat her! It was a nice moment.

Above: Mike and Ig put up the sign I made for the compound
that houses Jeremiah and Kristy's two dogs – Asher and Abby.

Above: Mim, Ig and Raph applying sunscreen to each other at Brooms Head. I later experienced a wonderful Gaytime in the shop behind them!

Right: I would love to have a home just like this one somewhere on the Australian coast! Mind you, I'd have a bit more of a garden around it.

Above and below: Views of the ocean at Brooms Head.

Above: Raph, looking very iconic!

Above: Aren't the colours something?

Above: Ig, Bernie and Raph on the beach at Brooms Head.

Above: Iggy!

Above: Relaxing back at home.

Above: Playing bocce with the boys!

Above: Raph, Bernie, Mim, Kristy and Jeremiah.

9:30 p.m. – The air in Grafton is quite fetid, which I guess is to be expected given the extent of flooding the town has experienced in the past few days.

Mike and his brother Bartley drove me here from Maclean earlier this evening after a pleasant last afternoon in Maclean with the McGowan family. The thing I remember most about the drive? The incredible number of bugs flying around in the car headlights. Again, a consequence of the recent flooding.

I'm looking forward to returning to my parents in Port Macquarie, but I'm also aware that it's been a very special time that I've shared with the McGowans "flooded-in" in Maclean. As Raph noted, it's a "bittersweet" parting for us all. Still, life goes on and there's much for me to do in these next few weeks before my return to the U.S. on February 8.





Recommended Off-site Links:
Mop-Up Army Defines Mateship – The Courier Mail (January 17, 2011).
Thousands Arrive to Lend a Hand – James Madden (The Australian, January 17, 2011).
A Video of the Flooding in Maclean

See also the related Wild Reed posts:
The Australian Floods
Rising Waters
"Flooded-In but Loving Life"

Photography: Michael Bayly.
Opening and closing images: The Lifting of the Siege of Camelot. (Panels from an early 1980s Prince Valiant strip. Art: John Cullen Murphy. Text: John Cullen).