Prayer of the Week

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From Psalm 119 . . .

. . . I offer myself into Your Hands,
that I may live fully into Your Life.
Open my heart's eyes, that I may see
the wondrous blessings of Creation.

I am a sojourner on earth;
yet I know myself as a spiritual being.
My soul is consumed with an intense longing
to be blessed and sustained by You,
O Divine Lover!


May I not be a bearer of disharmony,
one who is arrogant and greedy;
Teach me to stand firm when faced
with injustice and oppression,
to be fervent in my stance for truth!
Even though fears rise up, may my eyes
remain focused on You.
For in Love Consciousness do I delight;
O my Counselor and Friend!

With my heart's ear I hear the injunction
to pray for my enemies,
even those who persecute me.
How can I, weak and fear-filled,
heed this difficult teaching?

Help me to understand the way of your precepts,
and the strength to follow through.
My soul is willing, O Merciful One,
yet the body would flee.
Who is the enemy from whom I run,
but the ego-fears hidden in the shadows within!
Strengthen me according to Your Life,
lead me gently into the Light.
For, I have chosen the way of faithfulness;
with trust in You, I will face
my own darkness.
I will not run from the illusions which
beset me, so that each one may be transformed
in and through Your Love.

Help me to know, O Teacher,
the path to follow;
lead the way and I will come.
In Your Love is the power to calm
the storms of adversity;
show me the power of Your forgiving Love.
O that I might learn to bless others selflessly,
to be a silent benediction.
Incline my heart to Love Consciousness,
and not to gain.
Turn my eyes from the world's temptations,
and birth me into new Life.

Let me enter into the realm where
the aspirations of my soul may become manifest.
Clothe me with compassion that I may
answer the cries of those in need.
Do You see how I long to serve,
to co-create with You?
In Your mercy, hear my prayer.

– Excerpted from Psalm 119
as translated by Nan C. Merrill
in Psalms for Praying: An Invitation to Wholeness

See also the previous Wild Reed posts:
"More Lovely Than the Dawn": God as Divine Lover

Photo of the Day

Image: Michael Bayly.

In Rome and Detroit, Two Very Different Sets of Priorities

I find it interesting that on the same day that Pope Benedict was addressing a group of visiting U.S. bishops and demonizing healthy gay lives and relationships, a group of LGBT advocates was meeting as part of a White House-sponsored conference in Detroit and addressing the very real problem of homeless LGBT youth.

First, the pope and his comments. Following are excerpts from USA Today's report on Benedict's March 9 address to the visiting delegation of U.S. bishops, a delegation that included Archbishop John Nienstedt of the Archdiocese of St. Paul-Minneapolis (pictured with the pope at left). Also following are my comments on various aspects of what the pope said.

"Sexual differences cannot be dismissed as irrelevant to the definition of marriage," [the pope] said. True, but "sexual differences" aren't simply about the apparatus found between two different sets of legs! The primary sex organ, after all, is the brain. From my observation, most gay couples embody a beautiful complementarity of the masculine and the feminine – even though they share the same anatomical features.

He also denounced what he called the failure of priests and bishops to instruct Catholics in core church teachings on human sexuality, saying many Catholics seem unaware that living together outside of marriage was "gravely sinful, not to mention damaging to the stability of society." Hmm. A teaching church needs to be, first and foremost, a listening church. Maybe it's time for the bishops to listen to the wisdom embodied in the insights and experiences of sexually active Catholics – gay and straight, married and single. Perhaps such listening will facilitate a reappraisal of what is "gravely sinful." Also, where is the evidence that people "living together outside of marriage" is "damaging to the stability of society"? It's a rather sweeping statement and one that accordingly requires both clarification and support.

The entire Christian community, he said, must recover an appreciation of the virtue of chastity. Of course, by "chastity" the clerical caste of the Roman Catholic Church means either celibacy or sexual intercourse between a married heterosexual couple that's always open to biological procreation. I think chastity as "purity of heart," or of our deepest intentions, is a better, fuller and much more helpful understanding. For one thing it opens up the possibility of thinking and talking about moral sexual activity between same-sex couples.

. . . Benedict said a weakened appreciation for traditional marriage and the widespread rejection of responsible sexuality had led to "grave social problems bearing an immense human and economic cost." He didn't elaborate on what the cost was. No, though I'm sure there is a cost for irresponsible sexuality – for both individuals and the wider community. The thing is, however, many same-sex couples are living loving and responsible sexual lives. And such lives are not damaging heterosexual marriages or wider society. Furthermore, in seeking civil marriage rights, gay couples are seeking societal recognition that they are indeed doing the exact opposite of rejecting "responsible sexuality." They're embracing responsible sexuality. You would think the pope would welcome that.

And then there's that old "traditional marriage" chestnut! Members of the Catholic clerical caste actually seem to believe that their understanding of marriage – one man and one woman for life – was what God ordained at the dawn of time. Never mind humanity's long history of polygamy, arranged marriages, treating women as chattel, etc. In the patriarchal world of the Bible, even illustrious figures such as David and Solomon had more than one wife. The truth is, our understanding of right-relationships, and thus of marriage, has and continues to evolve. And we're now at a point were many are recognizing and welcoming the fact that same-sex couples are quite capable of embodying marital love – that beautiful expression of love that is exclusive for the couple involved, enriching for their lives, benefits both the couple's and the wider community's flourishing, and is thus generative. This last reality should not be narrowly defined as biological procreation. For as poet and theologian David Weiss reminds us:

Sexuality is indeed intended to be procreative, to give life; but our own prejudice – perhaps our desire to stem the flow of God’s creative energy into the world – has led us to understand this in a narrow, biological fashion. But truly, to find ourselves partnered in longing love with another person is to find that we have company in the work of caring for creation. Whether you are gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, or straight – whether you are celibate or sexually active, single or in a relationship – one truth that we hear in the biblical creation account is that human beings were created to tend the Garden, to guide creation’s bounty and to tend its scarcity in ways that promote the flourishing of all. That’s why we’re here. The joy that we know sexually in our bodies is there, at least in part, to lure us into the holy act of caring for all that is embodied, for all the ecological diversity that reflects God’s rampant desire for incarnation.

We don’t need a partner to do this. But if in our partnerships we fail to look outward and tend to the corner of creation around us – whether that is children or other humans, animals or ecosystems, or simply our household resources – if our love for another person does not spill out into these areas, we have missed something of the presence of God. God is always engaged in the care of life, especially among the vulnerable. And no one need shrink from the expectation that Christian sexual love should be procreative. Lived well, it always is.

Ah, what a refreshing take on the richly diverse beauty of human sexuality! How I long for the bishops of my church to be open to such beauty and to be able to articulate such insights!


Meanwhile in Detroit . . .

How I also long for the bishops to focus on actual threats to people's lives and to the common good. Those who gathered in Detroit on March 9 for the aforementioned White House-sponsored conference on LGBT youth homelessness certainly seem to be aware of some of these real threats and accordingly have their priorities right.

Did you know that about seven percent of American youth identify as LGBT and that of those youth who are homeless, more than 40 percent are LGBT?

"The phenomenon where well over 100,000 young people are cast out of their homes and denied economic support because they are gay is the most terrible example of homophobia in our time," says Ali Forney Center executive director Carl Siciliano (pictured at right in 2005 with the late Bea Arthur). "It is really problematic, and I don’t think there will be an adequate government response until it becomes a priority within the LGBT movement."

According to Siciliano, "the fundamental issue here is equality . . . not marriage or serving in military, but not having equal access to your parent’s home, love, and support. It is harder to deal with because it’s not a matter of changing the law. There needs to be a massive public education aimed at helping parents cope with and accept their gay kids, and a commitment to providing beds so these kids aren’t dying in the streets. That’s got to be what the gay community is calling for."

I appreciate how Siciliano's words challenge the priorities of all of us.

Clearly both the LGBT community and groups like the clerical caste of the Roman Catholic Church need to start acknowledging and taking action on the very real problem of LGBT youth homelessness. It's disheartening that, as evidenced by their misguided priorities, those in positions of authority within the Catholic Church are further from this place of acknowledgement than are most members of the LGBT community. It shouldn't be like this. The bishops should be at the forefront of efforts to address and help homeless LGBT youth. And yet instead they fabricate and obsess on phantom dangers to civilization of gay marriage! It's not only disheartening, it's ludicrous and thus embarrassing! Accordingly, I think for the rest of Lent, and especially when I'm participating in Catholics for Marriage Equality MN's weekly Lenten prayer vigil outside the chancery, I'm going to make praying for the bishops' journey to such a place of recognition and action a priority. I welcome you to join me in this prayer.


See also the previous Wild Reed posts:
Marriage: "Part of What is Best in Human Nature"
Relationship: The Crucial Factor in Sexual Morality
The Non-Negotiables of Human Sexuality
The Many Manifestations of God's Loving Embrace
A Head and Heart Response to the Catholic Hierarchy's Opposition to Marriage Equality
Getting It Right

Quote of the Day

. . . If the church genuinely supports love and commitment, why does the Catholic hierarchy oppose gay couples showing their love and commitment by getting married? It doesn't make sense.

. . . [Archbishop Vincent and Nichols' recent pastoral letter on marriage] includes no acknowledgement of the profound love that can exist between two people of the same sex. It wilfully ignores that fact the gay marriage is about love. By opposing marriage equality, the archbishops are denigrating, demeaning and devaluing love between two people of the same sex. It's an insult – a slap in the face – to loving, loyal and long-term lesbian and gay relationships.

Given the archbishops support for the institution of marriage, surely they should welcome the many lesbian and gay couples who want to get married?

Opening up marriage to same-sex partners does not detract one iota from heterosexual marriage. It causes straight couples no disadvantage or diminution of their rights.

In a democratic society, Catholics (and others) are entitled to believe that same-sex marriages are wrong, but they are not entitled to demand that their opposition to gay marriages should be imposed on the rest of society and enforced by law.

Allowing religious organizations to veto legislation – which is what the archbishops are demanding – is the path to theocracy.

The church has no legitimate reason to block same-sex civil marriage ceremonies. What happens in a register office is not the business of the church. It is outside their jurisdiction.

Regardless of what the archbishops may want, the case for marriage equality is overwhelming and inevitable from a democratic and human rights perspective. . . .

– Peter Tatchell
"Catholic Archbishops Have Mislead People on Gay Marriage"
The Huffington Post
March 13, 2012

Recommended Off-site Links:
Catholic Hierarchy in England Campaigns Against Civil Marriage Rights for Gay Couples – Sylvia Hui (The Huffington Post, March 11, 2012)
Catholic Gay Marriage Anger Grows in Britain – Herald Sun (March 12, 2012).
The Peter Tatchell Foundation

See also the previous Wild Reed post:
The Vatican's Actions at the UN: "Sickening, Depraved and Shameless"

Richard J. Foster on the Failure of Law and Ritual

This Lent I'm participating in a book study group with my friends Tim and Kathleen. We're reading Richard J. Foster's Celebration of Discipline: The Path to Spiritual Growth.

Following is an excerpt from Foster's study guide to Celebration of Discipline that I find particularly insightful.

. . . Human sin is written across the face of humanity. It is very real to us all and only serves to show our inability to enter the Good Life of the Kingdom of God.

From the beginning, men and women have sought to free themselves from this human predicament. The normal means for solving our dilemma has been law and ritual. Either we set up a series of laws, which we hope will cover every situation, or we devise religious rituals. (It matters little which we use – high church types usually tend toward ritual, low church types toward law – they are in reality two sides to the same coin.) Neither law nor ritual succeeds in transforming the human personality, although, as Jesus mentioned, both often make quite nice-looking whitened sepulchres. A heavy exertion of the will may be employed to accomplish our goal, but the effort is doomed to failure. Paul Tournier writes, "To depend on one's own will-power, one's good resolutions, especially against the impulses of instinct and the determinism of powerful, psychological complexes, is to ask for failure and for a perpetual conflict which destroys rather than strengthens the forces of the person."

There is a proper place for the will, but it is not in transforming the inner person. The will functions in the decision to place our lives before God so that He[/She] may work within us, as the old spiritual puts it, "I have decided to follow Jesus." And that decision is a continual one, for the following of Jesus is continual. . . . We are never made righteous by exertion of the will. Righteousness is a gift from God, which comes as we place ourselves before Him[/Her].

– Richard J. Foster
Study Guide for Celebration of Discipline
pp. 5-6

See also the previous Wild Reed post:
The Potential of Art and the Limits of Orthodoxy to Connect Us to the Sacred

Recommended Off-site Link:
The "Dumbing Down" of the Roman Catholic Church – Rev. Robert W. Caruso (The Progressive Catholic Voice, November 7, 2010).

Photo of the Day

. . . I'm not the sleeper who waits for a kiss.
But who is the god who designed me to love you like this?
And if I break in two and fall to my knees,
and tell you the truth
would you then believe
you have been this to me?

The last stop and everything I know . . .

– Rosanne Cash
" Last Stop Before Home"
(from the 2003 album Rules of Travel)

Image: "Eduard in Afternoon Light" by Michael Bayly.

See also the previous Wild Reed post:
The Empty Beach

A Catholic Rationale for Opposing the "Marriage Amendment"

I have an op-ed published in the latest issue of Lavender, "Minnesota's GLBT magazine." Along with two other local faith leaders (David Weiss and Rabbi Melissa B. Simon) I was asked to write about what inspires me to oppose the "marriage amendment." Although I'm grateful that Lavender published my piece, they grammatically butchered part of it! As a writer, I must admit I find that rather annoying! Anyway, following is the original version I sent them.

__________________________

The Catholic Church’s rich tradition of social justice, a tradition rooted in the radical hospitality of Jesus, leads me to oppose the MN marriage amendment. Throughout history there are many examples of Catholics – including bishops – powerfully speaking out on social issues such as racism and immigrant rights. Traditionally, such speaking out has sought to reduce discrimination and expand the circle of acceptance and inclusion in our society. Yet this is not the case with the Minnesota bishops’ current activism around marriage equality. In fact, they are advocating the exact opposite: discrimination and exclusion.

For many Catholics this is a blatant and grievous betrayal – not only of Catholicism’s rich social justice tradition, but of the very way of being Catholic in the world. This “way” reflects the way of Jesus and is not about unquestioning obedience to the church hierarchy but about discerning and celebrating God’s presence in the lives and experiences of all. The bishops have forgotten this hallmark of the faith, but the Catholic people have not. It’s not surprising, then, that credible polls show that the majority of Catholics support civil rights for gay people – including civil marriage rights. Such support reflects the Catholic faith’s emphasis on compassion, justice, family, truth-telling and love. Like people of faith from a range of religious traditions, Catholics have witnessed these qualities and values in the lives and relationships of LGBT people. Our challenge now is to go out and share with others what we’ve witnessed. Such sharing will contribute greatly to the defeat of the amendment.

Michael Bayly is the executive coordinator of Catholics for Marriage Equality MN and the author of Creating Safe Environments for LGBT Students: A Catholic Schools Perspective. His blog, The Wild Reed, offers thoughts and reflections from a progressive, gay, Catholic perspective.

Michael Bayly: Changing the Church from Within

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By Bryna Godar


NOTE: Bryna Godar is a media studies student at the University of Minnesota. A class assignment last December involved her writing a profile of a public figure. Although I'm not really sure if I count as a "public figure," I was nevertheless honored when Bryna contacted me and asked if I'd be willing to be the subject of her assignment. Recently Bryna shared with me her finished profile and gave me permission to publish it at The Wild Reed. So here it is . . . with special thanks to my friends Philip Jacquet-Morrison, Joan Demeules, Paula Ruddy, Mary Bednarowski and Mary Lynn Murphy for saying such nice things about me!


“I think I always knew, even from the time I was a young child, that I was different,” Michael Bayly said. “But then the first time I matched up that feeling of differentness with the word or the idea of homosexuality, I was about maybe 14, it was just terrifying, because I didn’t want to be that.”

Bayly, now 46, grew up Catholic in the small farming community of Gunnedah in Australia. “I was 17 or 18 when I said to myself: Okay, I’m gay.” Once he got to college, Bayly realized, “You know what? I can define what that means, what gay means. It doesn’t mean that you have to fall into these pre-designed or pre-ordained ways of being. You can still be you.”

Now, Bayly is working in Minneapolis as executive coordinator of the Catholic Pastoral Committee on Sexual Minorities to defeat the marriage amendment on the ballot in November 2012. In May 2011, the Minnesota House passed a constitutional amendment that would define marriage as between one man and one woman, placing the issue on voter ballots. This spurred CPCSM, a progressive Catholic group, to start Catholics for Marriage Equality MN (C4ME-MN), a group striving to advance marriage equality through advocacy and education. Bayly is at the forefront of this group.

“Lots of people haven’t thought about it, so that’s our task now, to get people to think about this issue and make up their minds to vote against [the amendment] in November 2012,” said Paula Ruddy, a colleague of Bayly’s at the Catholic Coalition for Church Reform.

C4ME most recently produced a DVD consisting of five clips of people talking about faith, family, and marriage. The speakers include Sen. Scott Dibble and his husband, a lesbian couple, two sets of parents with a gay or lesbian child, and a straight male ally.

“They all come from a slightly different angle, but they all really speak from the heart. The whole point of the DVD is to generate discussion and to hopefully change hearts and minds about this issue,” Bayly said. C4ME is organizing small groups of Catholics all over Minnesota to get together to watch the videos and discuss them.

Joan Demeules, a friend of Bayly’s, said the film “epitomizes [Michael’s] approach of love, one-to-one interaction, and sharing people's stories to really help change hearts.”

On their website, the group has a Catholic statement of support for marriage equality that supporters can sign. The group plans to take out ads in the major state papers with the statement of support printed and a cut-off pledge readers can mail in.

The group is focused on civil marriage. “We’re not expecting the Church to start marrying people in parishes,” Bayly said. “But we feel that the hierarchy’s understanding of marriage shouldn’t be imposed on civil society.”

In September, the Archdiocese of St. Paul and Minneapolis and the Minnesota Catholic Conference issued a joint statement about Catholics for Marriage Equality MN. In the statement, the Archdiocese asks that Catholics avoid associating themselves with the group, and not be “deceived by its messages, which are in conflict with the fundamental teachings of the Church.” The Archdiocese and the MCC declined to comment further.


Catholic Background

Bayly continues to identify with the Catholic tradition, striving to change the Church from within. “I just think the Church is bigger than the hierarchy, bigger than the Vatican. And the Church’s own teachings support this. I think we’re living through a time in church history when the church has been hijacked, in a sense, by a very narrow, reactionary element,” he said. “This needs to be resisted and challenged, and somehow by staying in, I think your voice is more credible than if you’re outside.”

Bayly was born and raised Catholic and has studied theology extensively. He taught at a Catholic elementary school in Australia from 1988 to 1993 and moved to Minnesota in 1994 to study at St. Catherine’s College in St. Paul. He graduated in 1996 with a Master of Arts in Theology. In 2003 he received another Master of Arts in Theology and the Arts from United Theological Seminary with a focus on film and theology.

Mary Bednarowski, one of Bayly’s professors at United Theological Seminary, said, “He was theologically articulate. He knew his tradition, the Roman Catholic tradition, and he was good at interpreting social contexts and the world around us in terms of the tradition.”

“He has a different understanding of what it means to be Catholic,” said Bayly’s friend and neighbor, Phil Jacquet-Morrison. “I think he has an understanding that Catholicism is not about an institution; Catholicism is not about the Vatican; it’s not about the man in Rome. It’s about trying to emulate the spirit of Christ. I think that’s why he was able to remain, to retain that identity.”

Bayly said, “I’ve always been interested in the way people talk about their experiences of God in their lives, and I was curious to reflect on and articulate my experience of God in my life as a gay person.” He wrote his thesis on the coming out process as a spiritual journey, examining the stages of coming out first to himself and God, and later to others.


Coming Out

“I was closeted in Australia,” Bayly said. “When you’re closeted, everything is so distorted; your fears sort of distort everything.”

As a teacher in a Catholic school, Bayly did not tell anyone he was gay. “It was a very happy and creative period of my life, but on another level it was pretty isolating ’cause you just weren’t out to anyone, I wasn’t really.”

“I think most people in their twenties channel a certain amount of energy into exploring relationships and who they are sexually and all that. But I just diverted and channeled it into my teaching career. It meant I had a wonderful classroom environment, very colorful and creative, but there was a price to pay for that. I think the reason I was so good was because I didn’t have much of a life anywhere else.”

“I kept thinking, ‘Okay, I’m gonna meet someone, we’re gonna fall in love, and that will give me the reason and the strength to come out.’ In time I realized you can’t always depend on other people or on that type of relationship to be honest about yourself; sometimes you just have to do it alone.”

Bayly moved to the U.S. in 1994 in order to come out and to study theology. “It felt difficult to come out [in Australia] and take on the straight persona that I’d created in order to maintain my teaching career,” he said.

About a year and a half after moving to the U.S., Bayly came out to his parents in a letter that he sent on St. Valentine’s Day. “I thought, what better gift of love can you give to someone than just sharing with them who you really are?”


Opposition

Bayly faces opposition through many channels, including direct confrontations, official statements, and online comments. The Vatican sent a letter to high schools denouncing a book he wrote in 2007 entitled, Creating Safe Environments for LGBT Students: A Catholic Schools Perspective. Bayly secured a copy and framed the letter.

A friend of Bayly’s, Joan Demeules, recounted a direct confrontation: “He was at a booth talking about the issue of GLBT people and their challenges, and a woman came up to him and said to him that all gay men wanted to do was to have sex. He sat for, I bet you, 45 minutes with that woman, and talked with her and challenged her. And at the end, when she did leave, she did so with a converted heart and wanted to give him a hug.”

Mary Lynn Murphy, a colleague from CPCSM, said, “I don’t think I’ve ever seen an incident when he demeaned the other side in any way. He never thinks of rabbit-punching somebody or hitting below the belt or pulling out an argument just because it might make the other side look bad.”

“He recognizes that people have rights to think whatever they want, they’re entitled to their own opinions,” said his friend, Jacquet-Morrison.

Bayly has become somewhat disillusioned with his goals to change the Catholic Church. “Even if the Church were to change tomorrow on this issue, there’s so many other issues I just don’t agree with,” he said.

“I just think that spiritually, maybe I’ve evolved beyond any one tradition.” he said. “Maybe humanity as a whole is at a state of some sort of collective evolution where institutional religions are a thing of the past. Maybe we’re called to a new level of consciousness where those types of divisions don’t have a role, don’t have a part.”

“For now,” he said, “I’m obviously committed to doing what I can as a self-identified Catholic to defeat the marriage amendment and bring about some sort of reform within the church around the issue of sexuality, but I don’t see myself doing this forever.”

Bayly said that after November 2012, and hopefully the amendment’s defeat, he might move back to Australia to be closer to his family. “I think I’ve probably had enough of taking on the church hierarchy,” he said. “This could be the last hurrah; it would be a wonderful way to go out.”


Image: David Joles, November 2009. (Note: The image on the wall behind me is of St. Sergius and Bacchus).

See also the previous Wild Reed posts:
Knowing What to Do, Knowing Why to Stay
Trusting God's Generous Invitation
Choosing to Stay
Thanks, Mum!
One of These Boys . . .
Soul Deep
Somewhere In Between
Dew[y]-Kissed

Seeking Balance

A Sufi tries to keep harmony in his surroundings,
the harmony which demands many sacrifices.
Harmony is that which makes beauty. The natural
tendency of every soul is towards harmony.

– Hazrat Inayat Khan
The Art of Being and Becoming

Let me preface this post by saying that I'll be taking a hiatus from blogging for the next month or so.

Part of the reason for this is straight forward enough: I have quite a number of work-related commitments to both CPCSM and Catholics for Marriage Equality MN that require my time and energy. In addition, I'll shortly be relocating to South Minneapolis after living for the past eight years across the river in St. Paul. As I'm sure many of my readers can attest, 'moving house' is never a simple undertaking.

I recently realized that since starting this blog in May 2006, the longest I've gone without posting is three days! Generally I post something every day and so it's going to feel very strange to not be devoting a good part of my time and energy on researching and writing. But I'm feeling somewhat overwhelmed by the above mentioned tasks and responsibilities, and so feel the need to take a break.

Also, as my good friend Joan recently reminded me, even though I've been working part-time since last June as a coordinator with a local meals-on-wheels program, I really haven't scaled back in other areas of my life – including my writing for this blog – so as to accommodate this particular change. This too is contributing, I believe, to my feeling overwhelmed. Hence the need to step back, take time out, and seek to create some balance, some harmony, in my life.

Now, as many of my readers would know, I often employ the image of a dancer as a metaphor for the spiritual life, or rather, my spiritual life. I have, after all, the "soul of a dancer"!

Yet currently, every area of my life seems to be out-of-balance. For example, I lack discipline in working-out; I can't seem to find the time to meditate and pray; I haven't been eating healthily; and, as I mentioned above, I feel somewhat overwhelmed by the challenges of working to defeat the "marriage amendment" and by the prospect of my impending move. In short, if I was an actual dancer, I'd be an undisciplined and lousy one.

I actually began realizing the need for some time-out when, earlier this month, I made the conscious decision to attend a spiritual retreat hosted by the Sisters of St. Joseph of Carondelet. As most of you know, I'm a consociate member of this particular Catholic order.

This retreat was entitled "Stirring the Fire: A Midwinter Day of Reflection on Change," and it definitely served to begin getting this "soul dancer" back into shape!

For a start, the day's focus on change definitely challenged me. I have, after all, experienced a lot of changes this past year – including the aforementioned new part-time job, an intensifying of focus and activity with my work with CPCSM, and the sudden death of a dear friend and colleague. In light of these and a number of other changes, I found the retreat's activities and prayers very helpful and affirming. They stretched me, strengthened me, and invigorated me.

For instance, one activity invited participants to reflect upon the changes in their lives and to discern a pattern. Here's how I responded to this invitation:

Hopefully, the ways in which I have chosen to respond to the recent and upcoming changes in my life contribute to an ever-expanding life of intentionality, meaning and service; of surrender and transformation. It's a life by which I continually seek to become an ever-truer embodiment of the sacred in the world; a "better person," in other words, by which I mean a more compassionate, less fearful pilgrim; a more trusting and loving dervish; a more flexible and graceful "soul dancer."

We were also asked to identify the daily and momentous "yeses" that challenge and inspire us. Mine are as follows:

"Yes" to being open to new opportunities and experiences that invite movement beyond the safe and comfortable and into the journey of transformation.

"Yes" to the paradigm shift that I believe God, at this time in humanity's journey, is calling us to communally and individually embody. It's a shift from greed to justice, from apathy to love, from war to peace, from mindless consumption to sustainability, from fear that keeps us imprisoned to trust that inspires us to action.

"Yes" to being very intentional in setting aside time and space to be in God's presence in a very conscious way.

"Yes" to remaining loving and hopeful in the midst of the many challenges and uncertainties of life, including others' opposition to change and transformation, to our evolution as people and as church.

Feeling as overwhelmed and out-of-balance as I currently do, it's difficult to respond to these challenges with the resounding "yes" that I feel I'm called to do. The remedy to this situation definitely seems to involve taking time out.

One last thought: As I embark on my hiatus from blogging so as to focus on specific tasks at hand and to seek balance in my life, I know I can't achieve anything of lasting value on my own. I'm going to need the support of family and friends – support I'm already receiving and for which I'm incredibly thankful. I also know that in seeking the balance I long for I must make time to feel and respond to the loving and guiding presence of God, my soul-dancing partner. I long to feel myself held, guided and lifted by his touch. This seems particularly important to me – essential, in fact – if I am to do all that I feel called to do. And that includes, at some future time, resuming this blog.

Heart of my heart, I call to You;
You hear my cry and support me.
Should You remain silent in me,
I walk as in a desert waste.
You heed the voice of my humble request
when I call your Holy name,
when I lift my hands,
O Holy One,
to acknowledge the power of Your love.

. . . Blessed are You, Heart of my heart!
for You heed the cry of my spirit.
You are my strength and my protection;
into your hands I commend my soul.

– An excerpt from Psalm 28
From Psalms for Praying: An Invitation to Wholeness
by Nan C. Merrill

See also the previous Wild Reed posts:
The Soul of a Dancer
"More Lovely Than the Dawn": God as Divine Lover
Something We Dare Call Hope
Clarity, Hope and Courage
One Thousand!

Opening image and images 3-5: From Men in Motion: The Art and Passion of the Male Dancer by François Rousseau.
Image 2: Tom Long in The Book of Revelation.

Ben

It was his eyes that drew me.

The day had become too severe
– the glaring heat, the jostling crowds,
my empty wine glass coated in dust.
I hastened toward the shade of the trees and the juggler's hut.
"Free Juggling Lessons," a sign proclaimed,
and a thought rose within my weary mind.

Ah, to juggle! Not objects, but the vagaries of one's life
– the disappointments, the fears, the regrets;
to send them all skyward and blur them into transcendental colors!
to balance them and view them anew in their motion
as realities from which I can learn,
as realities that indeed hold meaning.

"Would you like to learn?"
The young juggler's rapid movements and focused expression ceased
as he calmly looked toward me and awaited my response.
Yes, it was his eyes that drew me,
that beckoned me to accept;
his eyes that conveyed patient and sincere encouragement
as I fumbled and dropped the balls again and again.

I may not have juggled the physical objects
for more than a moment,
but already my spirits were soaring,
my hopes revived.

Before departing I asked if I could take his photograph.
He smiled, lay down his juggling balls and fetched the pins.
"These look more dramatic," he explained
with a wry and enthusiastic grin.

He juggled.

And his photograph I took.

Image: "Ben" by Michael J. Bayly (Minnesota Renaissance Festival, August 1996).

An Inspiring Event

Yesterday I had the honor of speaking at a very inspiring event. It was a day-long conference entitled "Cultivating Respect: Creating Safe Schools for All Students." Geared for teachers, social workers, administrators, counselors, parents of GLBTQ individuals, students, GLBTQ youth and allies, and Gay/Straight Alliance leaders, the "Cultivating Respect" conference was organized and sponsored by PFLAG Twin Cities and held at Hamline University in St. Paul.

Along with three others I spoke on a panel entitled "How Religion Can Help (Since We’ve Mainly Done the Opposite)." I shared my insights and experiences as a Catholic educator, author and reformer. Here's how the panel was described in the conference program:

Breck chaplain and GSA adviser John Bellaimey moderates this panel which debunks religious myths and shows how people of different religious backgrounds can advocate for LGBT students. The panel features Protestant Mark Osler, head of the Association of Religious Law Schools; Michael Bayly, educator and author of Creating Safe Schools for LGBT Students: A Catholic Schools Perspective; Muslim Blake student Asma Haidara; and Rabbi Melissa Simon, Director of Lifelong Learning at Shir Tivkah Synagogue in Minneapolis.

During my presentation I noted that in writing and compiling Creating Safe Schools for LGBT Students: A Catholic Schools Perspective, I consciously made a point of highlighting those aspects of Catholic teaching that affirm and support the creating of an informed, respectful and safe environment for LGBT students in Catholic schools. For instance, in their 1981 document Education in Human Sexuality for Christians, the U.S. Catholic Bishops note that:

[Teenagers] need basic information regarding homosexuality. . . . They should be helped to integrate their developing sexuality into their relational lives in ways that reflect respect for themselves and others and foster mutual personal growth. . . . Knowledge, in itself, is not harmful. Therefore, every major facet of knowledge and values in relation to sexuality should be covered at some point . . . including such subjects as homosexuality. . . . To withhold knowledge or to answer questions dishonestly can only lead to misinformation and a warped set of values.

Since 1981, however, the bishops' wise call for knowledge and the honest answering of questions (i.e., dialogue) has been ignored in favor of a demand for unquestioning obedience to the clerical caste's understanding and teaching on human sexuality.

Not surprisingly, then, when Creating Safe Environments for LGBT Students: A Catholic Schools Perspective was published in 2007, the Vatican response to it was one of denouncement. Archbishop Angelo Amato of the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith wrote to then-Archbishop Flynn of St. Paul-Minneapolis and informed him that the book was “not suitable to be used in Catholic schools” as it “calls into question the teaching of the Church on homosexuality.” Clearly, unquestioning obedience to the church's erroneous and dysfunctional sexual theology trumps efforts to create safe and respectful environments for students. This is a great tragedy as the demand for unquestioning obedience cancels out any need for listening. And without listening there can be no true respect for others.

Of course, during my presentation I also highlighted positive aspects of the Catholic tradition. In particular, I talked about Catholicism's sacramental nature from which we discern that the hallmark of the faith isn't unquestioning obedience but openness to God throughout creation – including within the lives and relationships of LGBT people. I also talked about the primacy of conscience and the church's teachings on social justice. As I've noted elsewhere, the social justice teachings of the Church are clearly rooted in Jesus’ life and preaching. Not so the church’s teaching on homosexuality. For many Catholics the call for social justice supersedes certain teachings of the church that reflect a medieval and inadequate understanding of human sexuality – teachings that, accordingly, are unresponsive to the presence and movement of the Spirit in the lives of LGBT people.

PFLAG's "Cultivating Respect" conference facilitated and modeled the type of knowledge-sharing, listening and dialogue that is sadly lacking in the Catholic Church, at least at the official level. It should be noted that such respect-cultivating activities are definitely taking place at the grassroots, as evidenced locally by the "home church" gatherings currently being facilitated by Catholics for Marriage Equality MN.

We have a long way to go, however, before topics like the following ones covered by the "Cultivating Respect" conference are openly discussed and explored at all levels of the Catholic Church.

• A Place at the Whiteboard: Diverse Educational Professionals Collaborating to Create Safe Schools for LGBTQ Youths

• Impact on Physical and Mental Health: The Chronic and Acute Trauma of Bullying in LGBT Youth

• How to Create Safe Spaces for Transgender Students: Language and Practices to Ensure a Safe and Nurturing Environment for Students on the Transgender Spectrum

• Creating Safe Spaces Beyond the GSA: How Students Can Create Positive Change in Their Schools

• The Minnesota Marriage Amendment: Is it Government-Sanctioned Bullying?

I should also mention that the conference's keynote speaker was Jamie Nabozny who, after years of harassment and abuse as a student, won a landmark lawsuit in federal court that established that young people deserve a safe educational experience. His story is told in Bullied, a short documentary film produced by the Southern Poverty Law Center. I can remember hearing Nabozny speak in 2002, when he was the featured speaker at a Catholic Pastoral Committee on Sexual Minorities (CPCSM) event at St. Albert the Great Church in South Minneapolis.

Following is Minnesota Public Radio's coverage of the "Cultivating Respect" conference.

_____________________________

Gay and Lesbian Issues
on Tap at Bullying Summit

By Tom Weber

Minnesota Public Radio
January 20, 2012

Organizers of an anti-bullying summit in St. Paul Friday say they're glad the issue is getting wider attention, but schools still have more to do.

The Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbian and Gays-hosted event at Hamline University focuses specifically on the bullying of gay and lesbian school students.

Board member Gretchen Murr said the need for more information has been evident when she speaks in schools.

"We were finding teachers begging for information," Murr said. "We decided that we were going to try to put it together."

Speakers included Jamie Nabozny, who won a landmark LGBT harassment lawsuit in the 1990s.

He said some schools and students are doing great work to raise awareness, but there are still stigmas to overcome. He cited the example that physical bullying is treated as more severe than verbal bullying.

"The words that were spoken to me and the things that were said to me will stick in my head forever," he said. "But I don't remember the physical pain I endured from the beatings, when people hit me. I don't remember that. And so it bothers me when kids, but even adults, will downplay the impact that verbal harassment has."

Nabozny said prevention efforts must include all three people involved in bullying: the bully, the victim and the bystander.

The Hazelden Addiction Treatment Center is planning an anti-bullying event in March.



Recommended Off-site Links:
Bullied Gay Teen Finds Purpose -- Maria Elena Baca (Star Tribune, January 19, 2012).
Students in Blake's Justice League to Be Honored at Hamline Anti-Bullying Conference -- Beth Hawkins (MinnPost.com, January 17, 2012).

For more about CPCSM's role in safe staff training in the St. Paul-Minneapolis Archdiocese, see the following Wild Reed posts:
CPCSM and the Archdiocese of St. Paul-Minneapolis (Part 3)
CPCSM and the Archdiocese of St. Paul-Minneapolis (Part 4)

Also, for reviews of Creating Safe Environments for LGBT Students: A Catholic Schools Perspective, see here, here and here.

Quote of the Day

A Minneapolis priest confessed this week that for the first time since he started parish ministry over 30 years ago, people are telling him they're embarrassed to be Catholic. The Archbishop's letter to priests, leaked to the Minneapolis Star Tribune last Sunday by The Progressive Catholic Voice, has apparently raised great alarm among the faithful. His demand for priestly silence and his egregious distortion of intention held by those who wish to vote "NO" on the Minnesota Marriage Amendment have inspired humiliation among rank and file Catholics.

We say, don't be embarrassed. Be angry.

Love your church. Remember all the good that flows from so many ecclesial corners and times. Love even those within the Church who attempt to bring hierarchical authority to distorted, destructive levels.

But be angry. . . .

– Jim Smith
"Gospel Anger"
Sensus Fidelium
January 21, 2012

See also the previous Wild Reed posts:
PCV Publishes Archbishop Nienstedt's Marriage Amendment Directives to Priests
What Part of Jesus' Invitation to "Be Not Afraid" Don't the Bishops Get?
A Head and Heart Response to the Catholic Hierarchy's Opposition to Marriage Equality
A Catholic Statement of Support for Marriage Equality
Tips on Speaking as a Catholic in Support of Marriage Equality

Recommended Off-site Links:
Archbishop Nienstedt Tells Priests Not to Voice Dissent – Rose French (Star Tribune, January 18, 2012).
Archbishop in Minnesota Opposes Marriage Equaliy, Dissent in Equal Measure – CommonDreams.org (January 17, 2012).
Catholics for Marriage Equality MN

St. Sebastian: "The Most Frequently Renewed Archetype of Modern Gay Identity"

Well, modern gay male identity, perhaps.

The quote in the title of this post is from Richard Kaye's scholarly article about St. Sebastian and his iconography through the ages. This article is from glbtq.com, the world's largest encyclopedia of gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender and queer culture. Kaye is Assistant Professor of English at Hunter College, and is currently working on a book about St. Sebastian in nineteenth-century art and literature.

Below (with added links) is an excerpt from Kaye's article, followed by links to previous Wild Reed posts about St. Sebastian, whose feast is celebrated today in the Roman Catholic tradition.

. . . Sebastian's extraordinary success as a "gay saint" is related to his status as an updated replacement for other culturally resonant "homosexual legends" – Hadrian and Antinous, Jonathan and David, Ganymede – whose narratives were reducible to narratives of love.

But the essence of Sebastian's tale resists such sentimentalization, standing as a modern emblem of radical isolationism, both a homoerotically charged object of desire and a source of solace for the rejected homosexual.

Since the advent of AIDS, St. Sebastian's historical position as a saint with the power to ward off the plague has been given a new sustenance, inspiring artists, such as the late David Wojnarowicz, to incorporate the martyr into their works. In painting, literature, film, music, theater, performance art, and recently, a video for the rock group R.E.M., St. Sebastian remains the most frequently renewed archetype of modern gay identity.

For more on St. Sebastian at The Wild Reed, see:
The Allure of St. Sebastian
"From Byzantine Daddy to Baroque Twink" – Charles Darwent on the Journey of St. Sebastian
Sebastian: Saint, Martyr, Gay Icon

See also the previous Wild Reed posts:
The Inherent Sensuality of Roman Catholicism
Sergius and Bacchus: Martyrs, Saints, Lovers
Honoring (and Learning from) the Passion of Saints Sergius and Bacchus
The Archangel Michael as Gay Icon
St. Michael the Archangel: Perspectives and Portraits
Song of Songs: The Bible's Gay Love Poem
Officially Homophobic, Intensely Homoerotic
Let's Face It: The Catholic Church is a Gay Institution
Gay People and the Spiritual Life

Image 1: "Saint Sebastian and his Executioners" (1870) by Gustave Moreau.
Image 2: "Saint Sebastian" by Onorio Marinari (1627-1715).
Image 3: Gustave Moreau.