For Curran, dissent is an honourable service to the Church. Loyal dissent is intended to be helpful and constructive to a Church always in need of correction and reform. . . . Curran recognizes that the search for truth will be lifelong, just as the Church’s pilgrimage toward complete understanding of the truth is eternal. He is a pilgrim, serving a pilgrim Church.
I look forward to reading Curran’s book. To read Roussel’s review in its entirety, clickhere.
While in Sydney this past weekend I saw Babel, the latest film from director Alejandro Gonzalez Iñárritu and writer Guillermo Arriaga, the creative team behind 21 Grams and Amores Perros.
Recently nominated for several Golden Globes, including Best Drama, Babel is an impressive, ambitious, and challenging film.
TheAssociated Pressdescribes Babel as “a four-pronged narrative that includes an American married couple (Brad Pitt and Cate Blanchett) vacationing in Morocco when a stray bullet strikes; a Mexican nanny and her nephew (Adriana Barraza and Gael Garcia Bernal) who encounter difficulty crossing the U.S. border; a Moroccan goat-herding family forever altered by the purchase of a rifle; and a deaf and mute Japanese girl struggling with her disconnection to the world.”
Not surprisingly, “The separation of people by language, politics and misunderstanding is the larger theme of Babel,” reports the news agency.
It all sounds potentially confusing and a bit of a downer. Yet David Stratton, co-host ofAt the Movies, reports that “gradually the [film’s] connections are resolved” and that overall, the film is “well-acted . . . suspenseful [and] remarkable.”
A “Relentless Fatalism”
Yet Babel is not without its critics. Ramón Valle, for instance,notesthat as with Iñárritu and Arriaga’s previous films, a “relentless fatalism” reduces the characters of Babel “to pawns who can’t comprehend, much less combat, forces beyond their power. . . . Too often, the more they try to change the circumstances, the graver the situation becomes. Action proves futile.”
Valle also observes that, “This fatalism has for centuries imbued Latin American culture and ideology, and we see it with particular virulence in the Mexican sequences [of Babel]. The individual struggles against one’s fate may give the character a certain tragic heroism, but with the cosmic deck so thoroughly stacked against him or her, any possibility of a better outcome, a better world, improved conditions, is, at best, remote, at worst, a pathetic illusion. . . . Such pathos, saturated with fatalism, may inform poignant arias, heart-wrenching scenes, but it does not inspire us to individual or collective action with any hope of success or change. There are no tears of triumph in Iñárritu and Arriaga’s films, only the sadness of survivors mourning the loss of the less lucky, those whose lives are overwhelmed by fate.”
“Iñárritu and Arriaga,” says Valle, “wail that the world seems not to be listening to the cries of its dispossessed, oppressed or accidental victims. Their films, they insist, are a response to these unanswered cries for help and understanding or, ideally, compassion. However, the deafness of the authorities is indifference by design, cruelty by habit.”
The notion of humanity being the “prisoner of fate,” reflects, according to Valle, “the philosophy of well-meaning individuals who look at humanity from on high while missing out on that same humanity’s daily, heroic struggles to change its conditions.”
To illustrate his point, Valle observes that, “Both [Iñárritu and Arriaga] are Mexican nationals. Their talents are undeniable, but somehow the heroic struggles of the Mexican working-class during the past few months, in particular in the state of Oaxaca, have been anything but passive and seem to have passed them by. And if Iñárritu and Arriaga are expecting the Mexican authorities to listen, good luck.”
The Borders Within
In a recent BBCinterview, Iñárritu (pictured below) said that he “wanted to make a film about prejudice without being prejudiced.”
“Language barriers,” he said, “can be very easy to surmount. The problem is one of preconceptions from one to another. This film is about not what separates us but what brings us together – what makes us the same people living together in the world.”
In an interview with Gaynor Flynn of Filmink magazine, Iñárritu observed that, “This film couldn’t have happened without me being in self exile.”
Elaborating, he noted that, “I left [Mexico] in 2001 and it’s a very complicated thing when you’re a third world citizen living in a first world country. It’s difficult to communicate and you confront prejudices every day. I’ve been travelling a lot over the last six years and that triggered in me a lot of things that I needed to question. I wanted to somehow film that whole moral imposition that I feel in everyday life.”
At the Movies’ review of Babel included interviews with Iñárritu, and one of the film’s Mexican stars, Gael Garcia Bernal.
“At very intimate levels,” Iñárritu told At the Movies’ David Stratton, “every citizen of the world today is affected by the misinterpretation that is happening in countries, religions, and races. [In Babel] I start with an intimate thing [and move to] a global scale.
“The border issue I put into the film [and which takes place at] the border of the United States and Mexico . . . is not about the physical space but about the idea of who ‘the others’ are, who I think ‘the others’ are, and why I build these barriers within myself. The borders that are within ourselves are the most dangerous; that’s what I want to make clear in this film.”
Actor Gael Garcia Bernal (pictured below) similarly observed that, “People now are communicating even less with each other. And if they ever do it’s full of prejudice and a blindness of fear of the other . . . [The U.S. mainstream media outlets] talk about the issue of immigration as if there is an attempt to destroy their country [when] it’s actually making it richer – not only economically but culturally. It’s giving it life – a life that it needs.”
According to Bernal, Babel “deals with issues of lack of communication and how, at the end of the day, one thing that we do can effect someone on the other side of the world; how interdependent we are of each other; and how we better start listening to each other before the tower starts to crumble.”
Explaining to Filmink magazine’s Gaynor Flynn the title of his film, Iñárritu says, “It’s from the Bible and the idea is that many people are speaking but nobody is communicating. But language is not what’s keeping us apart – it’s ideas, and preconceptions that lead to fear. That’s what the film’s trying to talk about.”
Two Models of Christianity: Boundary and Horizon
The comments of Alejandro Gonzalez Iñárritu and Gael Garci Bernal remind me of the Catholic Church, and how in matters relating to sexual identity and orientation, many Catholics are simply not listening to “the other,” namely gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender (GLBT) people, but are instead opting for crude and erroneous stereotypes and/or clinging to teachings that have not been nourished by the insights and experiences of many GLBT people attuned to God in their lives and relationships.
I read statements such as the US Conference of Catholic Bishops’ latest “guidelines” for ministry to “persons with same-sex inclinations” and peruse various “hardline” conservative Catholic blogsites, and am left wondering: How do these people live with the dehumanizing barriers they’ve allowed to be constructed within themselves and the Church? How do such barriers possibly reflect the life and message of Jesus, who constantly sought to break down barriers between people?
Of course, institutional Catholicism, indeed institutional Christendom, has always tended to embrace what theologian Diarmuid Ó Murchú terms the “boundary model.” In such a model, theological, ethical, spiritual, and ritual boundaries are set “within which orthodoxy prevails and outside of which one is considered to be unfaithful on a spectrum stretching from the ‘dubious’ to ‘outright heresy’.”
Yet I’ve come to agree with Ó Murchú when he says, “The great danger I see here is that in setting boundaries around the religious system, we also hem in the living Spirit and, theologically, we pursue questions which have more to do with our needs than an understanding of God’s life in us or for us.”
According to Ó Murchú and others, “The boundary model of traditional and mainstream Christianity has [not only] outlived its usefulness, [but it] may be fundamentally alien to the vision and mission of our Christian faith.”
As an alternative to the boundary model, Ó Murchú offers the “horizon model,” one which, he says “embodies in a more integrated way the aspirations of many spiritual seekers of our time.”
The horizon model, says Ó Murchú, is “an open system, focusing on Christ the primordial embodiment of God’s New Reign in creation which continues to grow and develop until the end of time.”
“Our starting point,” says Ó Murchú, “is what the gospels call the New Reign of God [or Basileia], the trans-cultural faith community for which Jesus is the first and exemplary disciple. This is, above all else, a community of mission, catapulting its members into the heart of creation, where all creatures (and not just humans) co-create with God until the Kingdom comes in its fullness.”
Ó Murchú is adamant that for Christians, “the church is called to be the exemplary community that celebrates both the present reality and future challenge of the Basileia.” It’s a task, Ó Murchú observes, “which the church today seems unable to assume or facilitate” – no doubt due, in part, to all those internal (perhaps even subconscious) barriers that Babel director Alejandro Gonzalez Iñárritu reminds us are so very “dangerous.”
Genuine spiritual seekers are very much attuned to the various barriers of institutional religion – barriers which attempt to limit the flow of the spirit and restrict the rich spiritual life for which we all long. Accordingly, says Ó Murchú, contemporary spiritual seekers “don’t look to the church for enlightenment or guidance,” and “many who do, become even more confused and disillusioned.”
“Today,” says Ó Murchú, “the spiritual ferment outside the church, at the cutting edge of the Basileia horizon, is what touches the heart and fires the imagination of the spiritual seeker, and not the staid ritualism and empty rhetoric [babel!] of an outdated and increasingly irrelevant institution.”
The Arrogance of the Tower
I think of the image of the Tower of Babel – a tower which in its construction obviously had to be set within clear boundaries. I recall the story of this tower as recorded in the Hebrew Bible, and wonder: Was God’s anger brought about by humanity’s arrogance in thinking that a mere man-made structure could reach heaven and thus be on the same level as God? Or is God’s anger more to do with our short-sightedness in thinking God is distant and thus not seeking and seeing God within and all around us?
Perhaps there’s a connection. Perhaps such short-sightedness stems from a certain arrogance on the part of humanity. The history of Christendom, after all, is full of stories of the building of elaborate, richly-decorated cathedrals while in their shadow God lies hungry and cold in the guise of a begger.
It’s an arrogance and short-sightedness which plagues us still. How else can one explain the spirit-denying pontifications of the Vatican which rise up and masquerade as God’s absolute and final word on matters of homosexuality? Has a single one of these elaborate pontifications, resplendent as they are in the flowery language of “natural law” and “the divine will of God,” ever been written in consultation with, for instance, a gay couple whose relationship is experienced and expressed both sexually and sacramentally?
The Collins Australian Dictionary defines “babel” as “a scene of noise and confusion”. In offering pronouncements on human sexuality which fail to reflect people’s actual experience of sexuality –gay or straight – and the ways in which such experience nourish people’s relationships with self, God, and others, the Vatican sounds not only confused about the ways by which God reveals Godself in and through human life, but also arrogant and foolish.
The natural consequence of such arrogance and foolishness – their rejection by people of compassion and consciousness – can actually be perceived by some poor souls as a form of divine punishment or abandonment. Thus the non-reception of the Vatican’s pontifications on sexual matters by the vast majority of Catholics is viewed by some conservative Catholics who doggedly hold fast to such pontifications, as a sign that we need to build that tower higher and those barriers thicker! Only then will we reach God and in so doing convince ‘the others’ of their folly!
A Leap of Faith, A Journey to the Horizon
Perhaps in matters of human sexuality it’s time we abandon our barricaded tower of orthodoxy and our narrow vision of finding God, and thus “all the answers,” solely at this tower’s remote, man-made apex.
Perhaps in matters of human sexuality it’s time we take a leap of faith and together make a pilgrimage to the horizon. Of course, at the more “grassroots” level of the Church such a pilgrimage is well underway. And from experience, I have witnessed and learned how such a journey breaks down barriers, encourages open and honest communication, and reveals the loving, guiding, transforming presence of God in the lives and relationships of each one of us.
To paraphrase Alejandro Gonzalez Iñárritu: “This journey is not about what separates us but what brings us together – what makes us the same people living together in the Church and the world.”
This past weekend my friend Kerry and I attended a concert byRosanne Cashat the State Theatre in Sydney. It was a great performance by a very gifted singer/songwriter.
Cash was in Australia as part of the Sydney Festival, and following is how the festival’s program booklet described her “Black Cadillac” concerts of January 6-8:
After a rapturously-received series of UK and US live dates, Rosanne Cash comes to Sydney Festival.
Cash’s Black Cadillac, perhaps the most compelling album of her distinguished career, was released earlier [last] year. She wrote it over the roughly two years in which she lost her father Johhny Cash, her stepmother June Carter Cash, and her mother Vivian Liberto Cash Distin. With this album, Cash confronts her family legacy as never before, while pursuing her own bold creative path with renewed commitment.
[Cash’s Black Cadillac concert tour] invites audiences on a stirring trip through images, sounds, words, and music, weaving interpretations of American masters and the Carter-Cash heritage through her own rich song catalogue. Sound design, spoken word, and video projection intertwine with acoustic and full band performances to give dramatic context to the stories the music tells.
Andrew Taylor of Sydney's Sun-Herald, notes that “Black Cadillac: In Concert was a fine, if gentle, musical journey led by an unexpectedly humorous, modest leader.” Cash’s banter with her band mates and the audience was “warm and self-deprecating,” a trait which Taylor found “surprising” for an American performer. Her vocals were described by Taylor as “warm and woody.”
In describing the music of Rosanne Cash, I’d have to use the word “beautiful.” It’s a beauty that flowers from the authenticity of both her music and her life.
Now, I realize that “authenticity” is one of those words that’s thrown around so much that it easily becomes devoid of any significant meaning. It’s probably helpful, therefore, to define what I mean by this term.
I'll start by saying that I think it’s safe to say that all of the great spiritual traditions understand authenticity as the embodiment of self-awareness, self-acceptance, and honesty.
Accordingly, an authentic human life is a life in touch with the creative, loving, and sustaining energy that infuses all things; a life in touch with its own truth as well as the collective truths of humanity. It’s a life open to ambiguity and paradox; a life dedicated to those things at the heart of the human (and thus spiritual) endeavour – including the willingness to risk being vulnerable so as to connect with others.
And the music of Rosanne Cash certainly connects and resonates with others. I even heard one member of the audience, sitting behind me at the State Theatre, whisperingly confide to her companion that she was experiencing Cash’s music in a “cathartic” way.
I’m currently reading Caroline Jones’ book, An Authentic Life: Finding Meaning and Spirituality in Everyday Life (Second Edition, ABC Books, 2005). At one point Jones notes that, “We have unique insight embedded in our own life experience, our own story. It is there if only we will search it out and engage with it, to see what it has to teach us.”(p. 84)
I and countless others respect and admire Rosanne Cash for her willingness to search and engage her “unique insight,” and to share this insight so beautifully and artfully through her music. In so doing, she inspires others to undertake their own journeys of self-awareness.
I’ll share an example of the insights of Rosanne Cash – insights gained as a result of the forging of an authentic life. They are insights with which I resonate. Perhaps you will too.
These particular thoughts and insights were published last February in the monthly column Cash writes for her website, shortly after the release of Black Cadillac.
My darlings, there is no need to worry about my immortal soul. Some of you seem determined to save it. But that’s my job, and I’m on it. If I express tremendous doubt in some of [the] songs [on Black Cadillac], I also express profound faith. The record is a map of many things that surround loss: grief, confusion, anger, doubt, faith, transformation, love, despair and hope. There are a lot of questions, not a lot of answers. I love the quote from Rilke: “Try to love the questions in your heart...”
I do, I do. I love the questions, I am empowered by the search, I’m inspired by the exploration, all of which is fundamentally human. I really don’t trust people who say they have no cracks in their faith and never entertain doubt. That’s not faith, that’s fanaticism.
What do I believe in? I believe in a universe that supports our highest potential. I believe that love survives death, and can heal even the most grave damage, given time and trust in the process.
I believe in a God that defies my understanding. I think that my mind is not even close to being large enough to understand what God really is, and this excites me.
I believe there is something outside my own existence that is all-knowing, whose creative potential is so vast that I can barely glimpse even the smallest edge. I believe that when I am in my most creative zone, I am touching that edge, but beyond that, it is unfathomable to me. I also believe that some day I will understand this better.
I believe that I chose my parents, and they chose me, for reasons that I only partially understand, and the same goes for my children.
I believe that the frog in the rain forest inhales the same air I exhale, and that we are all connected on a level that is so profound, so complex, and so basic, that if we got even a momentary insight into this subject, it would transform us.
I believe war is fundamentally wrong, and that at some point in the future, our descendants will look on us as barbarians for conducting ourselves in this way.
I do not believe in Armageddon, which seems to be a popular belief these days. The idea that the world, which is billions of years old (sorry, Pat and Jerry, but you need to go back to third grade science class), will end in MY lifetime, because I am just so special that all things will come to an end once I have graced the planet, is just too narcissistic to even entertain.
I do not believe that any one person has a special hold on God’s ear, but that there are as many ways to God as there are people on the planet, and that God, in His/Her infinite understanding, is able to tolerate a multitude of differences in this regard, since He/She created those differences, partially through the exquisite, complex miracle of evolution. I don’t believe anyone needs to mediate with God on my behalf, and I certainly don’t believe God gives other people messages to give to me. My letter box is always open to receive directly from the Source, thanks.
In turn, I respect your belief in anything, everything or nothing, as long as you don’t try to inflict those beliefs on me. Arrogance and ignorance are a lethal combination, and it seems to pervade some bastions of organised religion at the moment.
A gentleman gave a review of my record on Amazon, and he said that I “dissed” the religion of my father and stepmother. I don’t challenge very many misinterpretations of my work or beliefs, but this one could not go unmentioned. This is absolutely untrue. The religion of my father and stepmother was tolerant, loving, powerful and personal to them, as was the very different religious faith of my mother. I have nothing but respect for that, and for them. My songs are about MY experience, and nothing else. And by the way, they are SONGS, not a diary. Open to interpretation, obviously, but for yourself only.
Gregory Lisenbee sent me this great quote, and for that I thank him: “The unknown is the mind’s greatest need, and for it no one thinks to thank God.”
Wow! You can see why I titled this post “The Beauty and Wisdom of Rosanne Cash.”
For those of you who have yet to experience the music of Rosanne Cash, here’s a clip I found at YouTube.com. It shows Rosanne (accompanied on guitar by her husband John Leventhal) performing the Black Cadillac song, “House on the Lake,” on BBC 4 in 2006.
One visitor to the YouTube notes that this song is “one of Rosanne’s most intensely moving songs about her father John and stepmother June and the family home in Tennessee. If you saw Walk the Line, you’ll remember the house on the lake.”
Here’s the third in a series of interviews I’ve had the honor of conducting over the past three years in my role as both executive coordinator of the Catholic Pastoral Committee on Sexual Minorities (CPCSM) and editor of CPCSM’s journal, the Rainbow Spirit.
This particular interview I’m sharing today is from October 2004 and features the experiences and insights of Déadra Aalgaard, coordinator of the Twin Cities chapter of theStraight Spouse Network (SSN).
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The Other Side of the Closet An Interview with Déadra Aalgaard
By Michael J. Bayly Rainbow Spirit
Fall 2004
The Straight Spouse Network (SSN) is an international support network of heterosexual spouses and partners – current or former – of gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender (GLBT) mates. Members provide confidential personal support and resource information to spouses, or partners, and mixed-orientation couples nationwide and abroad. It is the only support network of its kind in the world. Support comes in the form of local face-to-face groups as well as online e-mail support lists.
Déadra Aalgaard is the coordinator of the Twin Cities chapter of SSN. Recently CPCSM Pastoral Coordinator, Michael Bayly, spoke with her about the Straight Spouse Network and the issues it addresses.
Michael Bayly: Some people might say that when a spouse comes out as GLBT then that’s it, the marriage is over. How would you respond to such a comment?
Déadra Aalgaard: Continuing or ending a marriage is a personal decision that each couple must make for themselves. Certainly when one spouse comes out, the relationship needs to be reassessed. Some gays and lesbians stay married because they love their partners and are best friends and don’t want to break up the family. Others try but it doesn’t work and they break up because they want to stay friends. Coming out does not automatically mean the death of the marriage. Statistics from SSN show that about a third of the couples split at once, a third stay on to work things out, and a third try to stay to together. About half of these [who try to stay together] are still together three years post-disclosure. Each couple needs to write their own script.
Michael Bayly: What are some common experiences and challenges for couples when one member comes out as GLBT?
Déadra Aalgaard: If the GLBT spouse comes out only to their spouse, it effectively pulls the straight spouse “into the closet” with them. Also, the GLBT spouse may have known about their orientation for a long time while and has a support system built up or even a new relationship by the time they come out, but it’s a surprise to the straight spouse. The straight spouse needs time to absorb the information and find support. There is often celebration over an individual coming out that overlooks the pain this brings on the straight spouse. Other issues include how and what to tell children and other family members, especially if the marriage is ending. Couples working to stay together need lots of honest communication, peer support, and time.
Michael Bayly: How aware are health care professionals, family counsellors, and the wider community when it comes to understanding the impact on family members when a spouse comes out? How do you suggest organizations such as CPCSM help in facilitating greater understanding?
Déadra Aalgaard: Increasing awareness is a big part of what SNN is all about. Oftentimes couples or the straight spouse will go for help and they end up educating the professionals. Organizations like CPCSM can help be being aware of available books and resources and offering links to SSN on your websites. You can spread the word about SNN to your network of other professional organizations and keep brochures available as well.
Michael Bayly: Can you talk about your own connection to the Straight Spouse Network? How has this issue impacted your life?
Déadra Aalgaard: I found the Straight Spouse Network online in October of 1999 after my husband of 12 years disclosed to me that he was gay. As our entire marriage “flashed before my eyes”, I told him, “That explains a lot of things”. In the midst of the pain it was such a relief to find others who were going through the same thing I was. All our stories were different, yet very similar in many ways. It was a place to vent, get insight, and be a support to others even while hurting. In my case, my husband and I decided to divorce. We felt that our friendship was worth saving and staying together would only create resentment and bitterness. It was terribly difficult and painful decision to make, but it was right for us. We have maintained a friendship and share in the parenting of our two children.
Nearly five years post-disclosure, I have to say that while I have moved on and am in a “good place”, I still wish that my former spouse could have felt free to come out early in life rather than be pressured to hide his sexuality. Our stories in that case might have turned out differently.
Today I am facilitating a straight spouse group and recently participated in a strategic planning session for the Straight Spouse Network that focused on the direction the organization will take in the next five years.
Michael Bayly: If any of our readers are interested in learning more about the Straight Spouse Network or joining the Twin Cities chapter, what advice can you give them?
Locally, our straight spouse support group meets in conjunction with P-FLAG on the third Sunday of each month at Mayflower Church on the corner of 35W and Diamond Lake Road. The P-FLAG program begins at 2:00 p.m. and support groups meet at 3:45 until 5:00 p.m. We are also trying out some alternative informal gatherings.
The Everglades Gallery’s “Port Macquarie Themed Exhibition” (January 2-16) features works from two members of the Bayly family. My sister-in-law has a painting in the exhibition and I have three photographs.
The exhibition aims to showcase “quality artworks from local artists, showing their impressions of the beautiful city of Port Macquarie and the surrounding region.”
Over the past seven months while living back in Australia, I’ve taken a number of photos of the landscape of and around Port Macquarie. I’ve shared many of these via the Wild Reed (See posts listed under “The Sensual World” in sidebar.)
It was difficult to choose just three images for the Everglades exhibit but, with help from family and friends, here’s what I decided upon:
“Afternoon” – I took this photo during an afternoon walk in September on Middle Brother Mountain at Laurieton, just south of Port Macquarie. I shared it on The Wild Reed in unison with a beautiful poem by Rod Cameron, entitled“Afternoon”. It seems an appropriate title for this image as well – one which captures the tranquility of an afternoon in the Australian bush.
“Hidden World”– This is one of a number of photos I’ve taken while exploring the coastline around Port Macquarie. It’s actually looking down on a rock pool at the south end of Oxley Beach. The water is amazingly clear, and the patterns in the sand are beautifully intricate and mysterious. I don’t think I really appreciated the uniqueness of this particular image until other people began commenting on it.
Accordingly, I decided to forgo a more typical beach shot and submit this one to the Everglades exhibit. I named it “Hidden World” as that’s how I see a tidal rock pool. We often walk by such pools, unaware of the many forms of life they contain within them. They’re not so much hidden from view, as simply hidden from our awareness.
“The Glimpse of His Face at Morning”– As you can see this is actually two images combined to form one. The first is a photograph of my friend Greg and was taken almost eight years ago in Minneapolis. The second photo of the sky, however, was taken in Port Macquarie just a few weeks ago.
The title of this image, “The Glimpse of His Face at Morning,” paraphrases a line from “My Lagan Love” by Kate Bush. The lyrics of her version of this traditional folk song were written by her brother, John Carder Bush in the mid-1980s.
As sang by Kate Bush, “My Lagan Love” is a very haunting song – one which conveys a forlorn sense of loss. “Lagan” is an Old French, possibly Old Norse word meaning anything sunk in the sea (usually goods or wreckage), but attached to a buoy or the like so that it may one day be recovered.
Of course, in matters of the human heart, such “recovery” is not always easy or even possible. Perhaps Kate sings of a drowned lover, or of a love grown cold and which cannot be rekindled. Whatever the case may be, there is undoubtedly a haunting quality to Kate Bush’s lyrics – a quality I’ve attempted to similarly convey in this particular composite image.
Following are some images taken on the opening night of the Everglades Gallery’s “Port Macquarie Themed Exhibition.”
Above: My sister-in-law and my brother stand beside the former's beautiful landscape painting.
Above: Standing with myparentsnext to “Afternoon”.
The Real Meaning of Courage By Michael J. Bayly Rainbow Spirit Volume 4, Issue 1 – Fall 2003
In August, members of CPCSM joined with other Catholic individuals, churches, and organizations to form the Dignity Coalition so as to counter the discredited science and narrow theology of theCouragemovement – the annual conference of which was held August 7-10 at the University of St. Thomas in St. Paul, Minnesota.
Courage – which goes by the name “Faith in Action” in Minnesota – purports to help people move beyond “same-sex attraction” by encouraging a life of “interior chastity in union with Christ.” The movement labels itself a “pro-chastity ministry,” and equates chastity with celibacy.
Although Courage acknowledges that the “inclination” of “homosexual attractions” is “psychological understandable,” such attractions are nevertheless considered “objectively disordered”- a view promulgated by the hierarchical church.
Courage insists that it “does not provide professional therapy” while, at the same time, maintaining the discredited belief that “some people, especially young people, are able to further their psychosexual development [i.e., “move beyond homosexual attractions”] with spiritual and psychological aid.”
Courage also discourages the use of the terms “gay”and “lesbian,” believing such labels reduce individuals to their “sexual attractions.” Bisexuality, transgenderism, and intersexuality are apparently completely off the group’s radar.
CPCSM has always supported those who feel called by God to live a celibate life. Yet as Darlene White (pictured above), a member of the Dignity Coalition and the mother of a lesbian, notes: “We have serious concerns when Courage and the hierarchical Church insist that all gay and lesbian people are called to lifelong celibacy as a result of their God-given sexual orientation. This reflects an extremely limited and ultimately unhealthy understanding of human sexuality and of God’s presence and call in the lives of gay and lesbian people.”
Responding to the use of the term “intrinsically disordered” to describe her son’s sexual orientation, Mary Lynn Murphy (pictured above) notes that: “It’s insulting to families who instinctively understand that our gay kids are no more ‘disordered’ and no more ‘called to celibacy’ by virtue of their sexual orientation than our straight kids. All of our adult children, gay and straight, are called to responsible sexuality.”
Unlike Courage, CPCSM and other Catholic organizations and individuals recognize human sexuality – in all its diversity – as a God-given gift that we are called to holistically integrate into our lives. For the majority of people this means being called to cultivate a romantic relationship with another – a relationship which by its love and commitment is pure in thought and conduct, i.e. chaste. Responding to such a call – as many gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender (GLBT) people will attest – requires great courage.
As the executive coordinator of CPCSM, I had the honor of convening the Dignity Coalition and working with a number of inspiring individuals and groups in planning the various events that comprised the coalition’s “response” to the Courage conference.
On Saturday, August 9, for instance, the coalition hosted an “alternative forum” at nearby St. Mary’s Episcopal Church. The forum featured renowned sexologist Simon Rosser, Ph.D., a lifelong Catholic and a director at the Department of Family Practice and Community Health at the University of Minnesota Medical School. Dr. Rosser eloquently spoke of the church’s continually evolving understanding of human sexuality.
The forum also included Gretchen and Tom Murr and their gay son David. All were featured earlier this year in a Star Tribune story about the increasing number of gay youth “coming out.” At the Dignity Coalition forum, the Murr family members (pictured below with Dr. Simon Rosser) powerfully shared their experiences of David’s coming out.
Throughout the duration of the Courage conference at the University of St. Thomas, the Dignity Coalition had a permanent presence in the quadrangle outside of Murray Hall. Brian McNeill ofDignity Twin Citiesfasted and slept in a tent for the entire duration of our presence at the conference. I also stayed overnight at the coalition’s encampment and had the opportunity to engage in respectful dialogue with several Courage conference attendees.
The question of authority came up frequently. We all agreed that our ultimate authority was God, but for the members of Courage, the voice of God is discernible only in the teaching office of the Catholic Church. Furthermore, this voice told them that as people afflicted with “same-sex attractions,” any physical expression of these attractions was sinful. The idea that God’s guiding voice could resonate within and be mediated through one’s sexual experiences was disconcerting for many of the conference attendees.
Also, when various Courage conference attendees spoke to me of their past experiences of the so-called “gay lifestyle,” most spoke of compulsive, promiscuous, and ultimately unsatisfying sexual encounters. Yet instead of identifying their past dissatisfaction and unhappiness as stemming from sexual addiction or an inability or unwillingness to develop a healthy sex life, they were being told by the hierarchical church, via Courage, to blame their sexual orientation.
I came away from many of my conversations with conference attendees (the majority of whom were male) with the belief that what the Courage movement offers is primarily support in dealing with sexual addiction and/or stunted psychosexual development.
For instance, a number of male attendees spoke of “falling off the wagon” and engaging in binge sex. Ironically, Courage appears to actual promote such dysfunction. Keep trying to be celibate, it says, but when you “fall off the wagon” and engage in binge and/or furtive sex, it’s your sexual orientation that’s to blame and not our “ministry” which prevents you from recognizing the real problem and encouraging you to be open to forging healthy sexual relationships.
Tragically, such healthy, loving, and committed relationships between two people of the same gender are always considered immoral and life-denying by the hierarchical church and by groups like Courage.
Thus, rather than honoring and encouraging the difficult yet holy task of integration, Courage promotes the destructive activity of repression. Perhaps, in part, this is because integration requires the recognition of ambiguity and paradox – qualities intrinsic to humanity’s evolving relationship with God yet dismissed by rigid and absolutist systems of religious hubris.
During its four-day “response” to Courage, the Dignity Coalition challenged such a system and its limited views on the presence and call of the sacred in the lives of gay and lesbian people.
The church – the people of God – is changing and evolving in relation to its understanding of human sexuality, and it’s the willingness of GLBT people and their families to speak their truth which is contributing most to this transformation. Members of CPCSM were honored to be part of this coalition and thus stand and work at the growing edge of our rich Catholic tradition.
Michael J. Bayly Rainbow Spirit Fall 2003
Following are two letters-to-the-editor published in the Rainbow Spirit in relation to the Dignity Coalition’s presence at the Courage conference:
Responding to Courage
The Dignity Coalition’s presence at the Courage conference felt more rewarding than any experience I have had with CPCSM in a long time.
Our goals and our issues were clear. Our tone was respectful. Through excellent press coverage we got our message out to the public in a passionate and dedicated voice. Simon Rosser was brilliant. Catholic and non-Catholic friends of mine in attendance were extremely impressed by him.
What excited me most about the coalition’s response to the Courage conference was the opportunity, at long last, to proclaim publicly my pride in GLBT people in a Catholic setting. Through demonstration, conversation (some of it heated, some of it reflective), song, prayer, and a great spirit of community, we took full advantage of the chance to tell the world our unapologetic truth. That has been a rare experience for me in my Catholic evolution.
Without Michael Bayly I am sure the event would not have been as powerful. His leadership, in concert with other members of the coalition, created a peaceful but absolutely determined tone over the entire four days.
Mary Lynn Murphy
When I was part of the Dignity Coalition at the University of St. Thomas and at the alternative forum, I remember looking around at the people present and thinking, “I am proud to be here.” I was impressed by the organizational skills and cooperation it took to put this event together. The speakers at the alternative forum were both informative and funny. They not only spoke from the head but from the heart. That impressed me.
Different groups came together and took a stand. It particularly meant a lot to me to see members from PFLAG there, and to see how they have not only accepted their children but have embraced them.
Being there cost the people time and, in some cases, real courage. Brian McNeill camped out and fasted. Some food service people at the university expressed their feelings by taking a day off rather than serving the Courage convention participants. Our voice was gentle but clear, strong, and open. I was (and am) proud of that.
As I learned more about the Courage movement, I couldn’t help but feel sadness for its members. I looked around and, feeling the sense of freedom, peace, pride that we in the Dignity Coalition felt, thought: “What a shame that these Courage people feel that they have to contain a part of themselves that is good and honest. That is not what it is all about.” I was proud we were there to give them alternative information and a choice.
That weekend we showed our passion, our integrity, our strength, our openness. That is something to be proud of and celebrate.
Kate Holler
For an update on CPCSM's ministry work with and for GLBT Catholics and their families, see the December 2006 Wild Reed postCPCSM's Year in Review.
Seven years ago I was invited to give the homily for the Feast of the Epiphany (January 2) at St. Stephen’s Catholic Church in Minneapolis. Following is the Gospel reading of that day, along with what I had to say about the story of the wandering magi’s search for Christ . . . and about cosmic or Christ consciousness.
Gospel Reading Matthew 2: 1-12
After Jesus’ birth in Bethlehem of Judea during the reign of King Herod, astrologers from the east arrived in Jerusalem inquiring, “Where is the newborn ruler of the Jews? We observed his star at its rising and have come to pay homage.”
At this news King Herod became frightened, and with him all Jerusalem. Summoning all of the chief priests and scribes of the people, he inquired of them where the Messiah was to be born.
“In Bethlehem of Judea,” they replied. “Here is what the prophet has written: ‘And you, Bethlehem, in the land of Judah are by no means least among the rulers of Judah, since from you shall come a ruler who is to shepherd my people Israel.’”
Herod called the astrologers aside and found out from them the exact time of the star’s appearance. Then he sent them to Bethlehem, telling them: “Go and search diligently for the child. When you have found him, report it to me so that I may go and offer him homage too.”
After their audience with the king, the astrologers set out. The star which they had observed at its rising went ahead of them until it stopped over the place where the child was. They were overjoyed at seeing the star, and on entering the house, they found the child with Mary his mother. They knelt down and did him homage. Then they opened their coffers and presented him with gifts of gold, frankincense and myrrh.
They were warned in a dream not to return to Herod, so they went back to their own country by another route.
The Good News of our Salvation as spoken through Matthew.
Homily by Michael J. Bayly
In today’s gospel reading we hear the fascinating story of the mysterious travelers from the East who journey far from their homes – far from safe and known boundaries – in their search for Christ.
Over the centuries, imagination and tradition have molded these travelers into “three wise men,” three kings, three astrologers. Yet it is not clear from the original account if the travelers even numbered three, or if all or some were male. Nowadays, Biblical scholars increasingly prefer the term “magi” to describe these mysterious travellers – a term that originally referred to a caste of Persian priests with special claims to interpreting dreams.
The story of the searching magi is found only in the gospels of Matthew and Luke. Matthew’s original audience were Jewish Christians and he goes to great lengths throughout his gospel to show that Jesus is the fulfillment of ancient Jewish prophecies – even to the extent of devising the elaborate and, according to most scholars, impractical and impossible scenario of a census – so as to place Joseph and Mary in Bethlehem, the place where Jewish tradition holds the Messiah to be born.
In my experience of teaching theology I’ve discovered that there are often two initial responses that people display when confronted with such historical inconsistencies within the Bible. On the one hand, people dismiss totally what’s being presented as “a made-up story,” as something devoid of any purpose or meaning. On the other hand, people accept blindly the Biblical account, declaring all the while, who are we to question? Both reactions are extreme and ultimately unhelpful.
Thankfully, our faith as Christians is not grounded in the historical accuracy of the biblical texts. If it were then we’d be making an idol of such texts by failing to view them as ultimately symbolic, and thus failing to go beyond them to where they point us.
And the story of the wandering magi does indeed point us in the direction of some very powerful and universal spiritual truths. None of which would be obtained if we stayed on the surface of the story; if our faith was determined by mere literal interpretation; if our faith was blind to the role and power of symbol and metaphor.
Deeper meaning is gained by a faith built upon our lived experience of the Risen Christ in the here and now – an experience mediated through our experiences of Self and others, and gained as we strive to increasingly open ourselves to that same Spirit of transformation that infused and flowed from the historical Jesus.
I'd like to take some time in exploring this Spirit, this Christos, that our brother Jesus embodied and calls each of us to embody. Without doubt, it’s a mysterious reality, one often symbolized by light in many of the world’s religious traditions. It’s also a reality that is a part of each one of us, just as surely as it was a part of Jesus. And it is this embodiment, this incarnation, which is at the heart of the feast of Epiphany, the feast of manifestation, of the showing forth of the glory of God.
I believe that this Spirit, this core of divinity within each of us, is best understood primarily in terms of consciousness and wholeness, as opposed to objective infallibility and perfection. With such an understanding in mind, we can say that Jesus was divine because of his depth of consciousness with regards to who he knew himself to be – a knowledge that stemmed from his deep awareness of the connection between love of God and love of neighbor.
John Sanford in his book The Kingdom Within, notes that throughout his life and ministry, Jesus called others to likewise cultivate this depth of consciousness – to recognize and claim, in other words, the sacred within themselves; to open themselves to the sacred’s transforming love and to channel this love to others. Biblical support for such a view can be found in John 14:12, where Jesus states: “I am in God, and God is in me . . . In truth I tell you, whoever believes in me will perform the same works as I do myself, and will perform even greater works.”
Yet how, as followers of Jesus, are we to demonstrate our belief? I would say by following Jesus’ example of openness and responsiveness to God through prayer, reflection and concern for and action on the behalf of others.
Another author, John White, has also reflected upon the divinity of Jesus and in doing, so challenges the Christian Church in its understanding of this fundamental reality. White contends that Jesus was a historical person, a human becoming; but Christ, the Christos, is an eternal transpersonal condition of being to which we must all someday come.
Jesus, says White, “did not say that this higher state of consciousness realized in him was his alone for all time. Nor did he call us to worship him. Rather, he called us to follow him. He called us to share in the new condition, to enter a new world, to incarnate the same Spirit he incarnated, to be one in the supramental Christ consciousness that alone can dispel the darkness of our minds and renew our lives.
White reminds us that Jesus “taught and demonstrated cosmic consciousness, the Christic state of mind, the peace that surpasses understanding, the direct experience of divinity dwelling in us and all things, now and forever; creating us, living us, preserving us, urging us to ever more inclusive states of being.”*
The story of the searching magi serves as a fitting and powerful metaphor for our journey to Christic consciousness. I picture the magi as a caravan – one comprised of people of all races, genders, colors and orientations, bearing their gifts of self; encouraged and empowered by a deep longing for consciousness and wholeness. It is this desire which ultimately protects us from the unconscious, life-numbing states of being that fear and resist growth and change; states of being that are ultimately egocentric, corrupt and greedy. In today’s gospel reading, King Herod serves to illustrate such a state of being and its destructive and life-denying characteristics.
But let’s not forget that just as there is a part of us that yearns to journey, like the magi, to find and claim Christ, there’s also another part of us which, like Herod, wants things forever comfortable, forever under control, forever stagnant. Yet we can and must overcome such desires – within ourselves and within our church – if we are to follow in the example of our brother Jesus and be daily, living epiphanies.
What can encourage us in such an endeavor? Well, the quality of the community we keep is of vital significance. And intrinsic to this community are the stories and gifts we share and celebrate as we journey. It’s important also to recognize and remind each other that as we strive to live more consciously we really do experience, in the words of John White, “a growing wholeness, and increasing sense of the meaning of our individual personality, a realization of new and creative energies, and an expanding consciousness.”
Like the searching magi of old, we discover that this “conscious living” and ongoing expansion of awareness entails an openness to mystery and to the complexities and paradoxes of human life; a willingness to search and question, and a leaning toward trust rather than fear.
Such openness and the new levels of awareness to which it leads, compel us beyond our individual ego-existence to an alternative existence wherein our well-being is sought in harmony with others; an alternative existence accordingly graced by an ever-deepening experience of union with God.
Such union is a lifelong process of conversion and rebirth, often understood by the great spiritual traditions as a journey. Participation in this type of journey increasingly enables us to live a loving and creative life in the social sphere – a life which, like Jesus’, is capable of encouraging and challenging others entrenched in egocentricity, to live their lives more consciously.
And finally, it is important to note that the journey of the magi doesn’t end at the feet of the infant Jesus, but back in the Magi’s homelands where, gifted with new, deeper insight and with gifts of discernment and creativity, they are called like us, to manifest Christ; to manifest, in other words, the consciousness and love that is gained as a result of our journeying with one another and with the God who walks in our midst.
Michael J. Bayly January 2, 2000
* White, J., “Jesus, Evolution and the Future of Humanity” in Grof, S. (Ed.), Human Survival and Consciousness Evolution (Albany: State University of New York Press, 1988), p. 125.
Here’s a great song with which to kick-off the New Year. It’s “Times Like These” by theFoo Fighters.
I particularly like the song’s melodic yet thrashy sound. I also can resonate with many of its lyrics – especially at this time of new beginnings.
It’s times like these you learn to live again
It’s times like these you give and give again
It’s times like these you learn to love again
Its times like these, time and time again
I, I’m a new day rising
I’m a brand new sky to hang the stars upon tonight
But I, I'm a little divided
Do I stay or run away and leave it all behind?
I spent the last day of 2006 atEllenborough Fallswith members of my family.
Situated inland from Port Macquarie near the township of Eland, Ellenborough Falls is reputedly Australia’s “tallest single-drop waterfall.” According to Geoscience Australia, “This waterfall launches off the edge of the New England Tableland and has a single drop of 160 metres.”
Like nearbyBoorganna Nature Reserve, the area around Ellensborough Falls is breathtakingly beautiful.
After observing the falls from the viewing platform located close to the car park at the top of the falls (see image above), we began our descent into the gorge so as to make our way to the base of Ellenborough Falls.
Above: Journeying with me through the subtropical forest to the base of the falls was my brother Tim, his wife Ros, and their two daughters Layne and Sami. Also with us was Ros’ sister, her husband, and their two children.
Above and below: At the base of Ellenborough Falls – December 31, 2006.
Above: Upon our return to the car park at the top of the falls, we came upon a quite friendlyLace Monitoror LaceGoanna.
As 2006 ebbs and we prepare to celebrate the New Year, I have just a few things I’d like to bring to your attention.
First: Medea Benjamin has written an inspiring article in which she reminds us that 2006 “was a year of many positive gains for the progressive movement.” Her article, entitled “Let’s Toast to Ten Good Things About 2006,” can be foundhere.
Second: Of the many worthwhile blogsites I discovered this year (see “Recommended Blogsites” in sidebar), Box Turtle Bulletinwould have to be the one I’d most recommend.
Established and maintained by Jim Burroway, Box Turtle Bulletinaimsto provide “well documented and accurate information” with regards to the “many issues facing gays, lesbians, their families and friends.”
In addition, the site endeavors to “refute as much misinformation as possible” as disseminated by reactionary organizations such asFocus on the Family. Box Turtle Bulletin also has a great “Useful Links” section, which can be foundhere.
Oh, and if you’re wondering how the site came to be named “Box Turtle Bulletin,” clickhere.
Third: A significant event that has taken place in the last days of 2006 has been the execution of former Iraqi dictator, Saddam Hussein. The editorial board of theWorld Socialist Web Sitehas posted an insightfulcommentaryon this event – one which provides indepth analysis on the rise of Hussein and the role played by successive US governments in supporting his brutal regime and its crimes. Such honest analysis is sorely lacking in the U.S. corporate media’s coverage of Saddam Hussein’s demise.
Also, if you visit the World Socialist Web Site be sure to check out it’s extensive selection offilm reviews. You won’t be disappointed.
And finally: I’d like to take this opportunity to thank all those who have offered support and feedback regarding my efforts to document via The Wild Reed, “one man’s progressive, gay, Catholic perspective on spirituality, politics and culture.”
Of course, no one’s perspective is ever totally their own. After all, each one of us is influenced and shaped by the insights and experiences of others as well as our own. One of the many positive things to come out of “planting and nurturing” the Wild Reed has been the ongoing challenge to practice and hone my writing skills. Through such skills I have endeavored to share the perspectives of gay people (myself included) who seek to be true to both the gift of our sexuality and our Catholic faith.
Such activity has been a welcome creative outlet during these past seven months that I’ve been in Australia awaiting the completion of the much longer-than-expected application process for green card status. The gaining of such status is thankfully within sight, and will allow me to return to the U.S. at the end of January so as to continue my work with the Catholic Pastoral Committee on Sexual Minorities.
Of the many commentaries I’ve posted since launching The Wild Reed on May 5, 2006, the ones listed below are those I’ve most enjoyed researching and writing. I guess you could call them my personal “2006 Wild Reed highlights.” If you’ve yet to read them I hope you will take the time to do so, and that the experiences and insights they convey will resonate with you, and encourage and inspire you on your journey.
I established The Wild Reed in 2006 as a sign of solidarity with all who are dedicated to living lives of integrity – though, in particular, with gay people seeking to be true to both the gift of their sexuality and their Catholic faith. The Wild Reed's original by-line read, “Thoughts and reflections from a progressive, gay, Catholic perspective.” As you can see, it reads differently now. This is because my journey has, in many ways, taken me beyond, or perhaps better still, deeper into the realities that the words “progressive,” “gay,” and “Catholic” seek to describe.
Even though reeds can symbolize frailty, they may also represent the strength found in flexibility. Popular wisdom says that the green reed which bends in the wind is stronger than the mighty oak which breaks in a storm. Tall green reeds are associated with water, fertility, abundance, wealth, and rebirth. The sound of a reed pipe is often considered the voice of a soul pining for God or a lost love.
On September 24, 2012,Michael BaylyofCatholics for Marriage Equality MNwas interviewed by Suzanne Linton of Our World Today about same-sex relationships and why Catholics can vote 'no' on the proposed Minnesota anti-marriage equality amendment.
"I believe your blog to be of utmost importance for all people regardless of their orientation. . . . Thank you for your blog and the care and dedication that you give in bringing the TRUTH to everyone."– William
"Michael, if there is ever a moment in your day or in your life when you feel low and despondent and wonder whether what you are doing is anything worthwhile, think of this: thanks to your writing on the internet, a young man miles away is now willing to embrace life completely and use his talents and passions unashamedly to celebrate God and his creation. Any success I face in the future and any lives I touch would have been made possible thanks to you and your honesty and wisdom."– AB
"Since I discovered your blog I have felt so much more encouraged and inspired knowing that I'm not the only gay guy in the Catholic Church trying to balance my Faith and my sexuality. Continue being a beacon of hope and a guide to the future within our Church!"– Phillip
"Your posts about Catholic issues are always informative and well researched, and I especially appreciate your photography and the personal posts about your own experience. I'm very glad I found your blog and that I've had the chance to get to know you."– Crystal
"Thank you for taking the time to create this fantastic blog. It is so inspiring!"– George
"I cannot claim to be an expert on Catholic blogs, but from what I've seen, The Wild Reed ranks among the very best."– Kevin
"Reading your blog leaves me with the consolation of knowing that the words Catholic, gay and progressive are not mutually exclusive.."– Patrick
"I grieve for the Roman institution’s betrayal of God’s invitation to change. I fear that somewhere in the midst of this denial is a great sin that rests on the shoulders of those who lead and those who passively follow. But knowing that there are voices, voices of the prophets out there gives me hope. Please keep up the good work."– Peter
"I ran across your blog the other day looking for something else. I stopped to look at it and then bookmarked it because you have written some excellent articles that I want to read. I find your writing to be insightful and interesting and I'm looking forward to reading more of it. Keep up the good work. We really, really need sane people with a voice these days."– Jane Gael
"Michael, your site is like water in the desert."– Jayden
